Teale's Meals

New Blog!

2012-01-12T15:12:00.000-06:00

If anyone's still out there, please follow me over at my new blog!

http://www.lavidalarosa.wordpress.com/

Stationery card

2011-11-30T21:44:00.001-06:00

Wave Of Cheer Holiday Card

Turn family photos into holiday cards at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

Where I've Been

2011-06-10T13:59:00.002-05:00

I don't know anyone who actually still checks to see if I've posted here or not. And this is likely to be my last entry in this space, other than a notice when I relocate.

Two entries ago I was doing a little "10 days" meme, which I never finished... but the question was about who I'd been closest to for the longest. And I posted a picture of my mom and I. Little did I know that just a couple months later, she would be gone from my life.

My mom died.

After I wrote that entry, she was actually able to come home from the nursing home. On March 1st, she came home. She was so, SO happy. I was so, SO scared. I was scared of her ability to take care of herself at home and scared about the physical toll it would take on both her & my Poppy, who nearly died in November & spent a few months in the nursing home himself. But she wanted to try it... "How will I ever know if I don't try?" she said. So, she tried it. I told Eddie, "I don't see it lasting more than a month," and sadly, it didn't. It lasted just over two weeks before she started falling again. Three falls in 2 days, and it was time to go back to the nursing home.

She wasn't thrilled, but she was OK with it, because she got to go to a different nursing home, one closer to home and one that her sister was a resident of also. For a week she spent time getting to know the facility (which was much larger than the last), the staff, the residents, and of course, playing Bingo, her favorite! Her last week there though, was a different story.

I remember it being a Friday night at about 10pm, I got a call from the nursing home saying they sent her to the ER (in the attached hospital) because she was really weak & out of it. I dropped what I was doing to be there, as I always did whenever she had to go to the ER--my Poppy is housebound now & he can't be there for her, so I always went. The did a bunch of tests, we talked about how she'd been like this in the past before & the next day would be OK (she had a lot of diabetic lows, which would make her be kinda goofy & out of it at times), and they sent her back to her room a few hours later.

The next day I tried to call her to check in, but I didn't get an answer--this wasn't abnormal, as she didn't always get to the phone if it was across the room, so Eddie and I went about our errands for the day. Late in the afternoon that Saturday, I tried calling again, and no answer. I also had heard from a cousin that she'd been trying to reach her most of the day with no luck. Something didn't seem right, so I called the nursing home. The said that she'd still been very out of it all day & spent the day in bed. They were vague & short.

Then about an hour later, her physician called me. And if doctors are calling you, it's usually not to chit chat. He said that he reviewed her labs & tests from the night before, and her kidneys were completely shutting down. She'd been in renal failure for years, but not to the point of needing dialysis. Her mental state was being impacted because the toxins of her medication were building up in her body & not being filtered out by her kidneys properly. The immediate plan was to hold her meds & push fluids so that what had built up in her system could hopefully get out in the next 24 hours or so. If that wasn't going to work, we were going to have to talk about if dialysis was an option or not. We were floored. This seemed so sudden. Don't get me wrong, my mom had been chronically ill for years--my whole life, practically--but she always bounced back... and to hear that she might not this time, I didn't know what to do. I immediately called my Poppy, who had also talked to the doctor, and went to his house to discuss the situation. It was late in the evening, and as I said before, he's housebound, so we decided we'd try to take him to see her the following morning.

We went the next day, a Sunday, and she was completely out. She didn't wake up at all while Poppy was there. He was devastated, kept trying to talk to her to get her to wake up, but she wasn't budging. He just kept looking at me and saying "I wish she'd just wake up..." She did eventually wake up, but not until that evening. She was very confused, and I would spend an hour calming her, only to have something happen that would agitate her again, and then I'd spend another hour calming her. I was doing my best in a horrible situation.

The following day we talked to the doctor again--her kidney funtion hadn't improved just by holding meds, and it wasn't looking good. If we were going to attempt dialysis, we had to do it now. The risks and benefits were laid out before us. She would need a surgical procedure to place a shunt--it's likely she wouldn't survive the procedure do to her many comorbidities; if she did survive the procedure, she would have to be able to travel a couple hours three times per week to endure the treatments--several days prior she rode the bus to an appointment and it wiped her out completely, there's no way that she'd have any quality of life having to do that three times a week. However, my mom was always very clear that if she was in the hospital or something, she wanted them to do what they could do save her. So we were torn. As her POA's, my Poppy and I had to make the best decision for her. Do we try, and more than likely lose her anyway, but cause her to be miserable the whole time we're trying, or do we make the decision to let her go peacefully, without pain? I couldn't believe I was being faced with this decision.

I went to her room, where most of the time she was out of it. She'd have moments of clarity, but they were mostly laced with confusion. She could see I was upset, and I saw in her eyes the mom that I knew was there, beyond the confusion. She asked me what was wrong with her, and I told her. "Will I have to do dialysis?" she asked me. "Well, that's what we have to talk about..." and I explained to her the situation. She squeezed my hand and shook her head at me and said "No, no, no, I would be miserable, miserable, miserable..." and then the fleeting moment of clarity was gone and she was groggy and mumbling again. I knew what we had to do, as horrible and difficult as that would be for our family. Keeping her here would be horrible for HER.

The decision was made, and she was put on comfort measures until it was time. I've lost a parent before (bio dad), and it was sudden and shocking and horrible, but watching someone die and knowing that it's coming is a whole different kind of pain. My husband and I were there pretty much 24/7, right up to the end. We talked to her, shared old stories, listened to favorite songs. My Poppy wasn't able to be there the whole time because of his own health, but he did come daily, sometimes several times daily, for several hours at a time. I knew he'd need to save what energy he could for the days to come.

On April 1st, only an hour or so before the sun rose, my mom left us. Part of me left too.

The following day, Eddie and I drove 16 hours round-trip to Arkansas to get my sister so she could come for the services. While on the way down there, he complained of pain when he sat, that was getting more and more sensitive. In the days before my mom passed, we'd been doing a lot of sitting on hard chairs, and he'd complained of it before, but on this trip it was getting worse. The pain grew so severe that he wanted to go to the ER as soon as we returned. He could hardly walk because of pain in the crease of his leg, like where the elastic in the leg of your underwear would hit. We went to the ER, and long story short, he had a badly infected hair that had turned into an absess. Sitting on it in a bumpy car all day had aggrivated it & it was spreading infection throughout his body. They wanted to keep him overnight, it was such a serious infection. We informed the staff what had just happened with my mom, and how we really wanted to get this taken care of ASAP so that he could be there as a pall bearer & be by my side at her funeral. They said he needed to stay overnight & we'd see what the infectious disease doctor had to say the next day. They also ran some tests & CT scans of the area to see how large it was.

The next day came & Eddie was feeling better. The cyst had burst on its own the night before & released a ton of pressure, so he was feeling confident that he'd get to go home w/o having to have it surgically taken care of. He sent me home for a shower (I stayed with him in the hospital that night) and to work on a picture collage for my mom's services. While I was doing that, he called, very upset, because the infection doc didn't have good news. The type of infection he had was basically a flesh-eating bacteria (necrotizing fasciitis) that was life threatening if it wasn't aggressively treated and the bad tissue removed. They wanted to take him in for emergency surgery that afternoon.

They told him that they werne't sure how far the bacteria had spread & how much dead tissue they would have to cut out, but that if it was a lot, he'd likely be in the SICU, sedated for several days. We had to sign paperwork... a living will... just in case. I had just lost my mother, had been faced with making the awful, difficult decision to let her go, and now I might be faced with doing the same for my husband??? This couldn't be happening.

He went into surgery that evening, and it was the longest 3+ hours of my life, not knowing, waiting, worrying. Was he going to be OK? Finally the surgeon came to see us, and he had GOOD NEWS! The infection hadn't spread nearly as far as he had expected; in fact, this was probably the least-severe case of this bacteria that he had operated on! That said, they still took a lot of tissue, probably about the size of a softball, and his wound had to be left open for several days to help it heal from the inside out. The surgeon told us that unfortunately a lot of cases of this don't end well because the bacteria silently spreads & has spread so far before it's detected, that it's usually too late. Too late. I can't tell you how relieved I was that it wasn't too late.

I truly believe that if things hadn't transpired exactly as they did, I would have lost Eddie. If my mom hadn't passed, we wouldn't have driven to AR. If we hadn't gone on that long drive, it wouldn't have aggrivated the abcess to the point that it would have been as painful... it would have just been spreading, and Eddie probably would have just thought he had an infected hair that would go away, like happens sometimes. If it hadn't gotten so painful, we wouldn't have gone to the ER. And if we hadn't gone to the ER, they wouldn't have done tests to know that this was a serious bacteria. If all of this hadn't happened, I may have been going to my husband's funeral too.

As it turns out, Eddie had to spend 10 days in the hospital recovering, and had to have a second surgery to do a skin graft & close up the wound. He had to miss my mom's funeral, which was hard for both of us. Hard for him, because I know he very much wanted to pay his respects, and also be there for me, and hard for me because I had to keep it together for the rest of the family. I had to be the strong one, so I was. Eddie's recovery has been a long one. He's been home for nearly two months, and we're still having to pack and dress his wounds, but they're getting smaller every day. I'm so thankful for that.

But missing my mom, that has been really really hard. I've felt alone a lot of the time, even though physically, there are people around me. It's not something you would ever understand unless you had been there. I know in time, it will get easier. I know that, but I also know that I will never--ever--be the same.

30 Day Challenge--Day 3

2011-02-14T08:51:00.000-06:00

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Even though it's been off the air for years, Friends is probably my all-time favorite show! Having all of the seasons on DVD means whenever I'm sick or having a bad day, I can pop in a disk & laugh my butt off for a few episodes! They're never not funny to me!

30 Day Challenge--Day 2

2011-02-10T10:52:00.000-06:00

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest

As far as friends go, I've had excellent friends, and been very close to all of them at some time, but at different times in my life--not consisently from childhood til now. I actually can't name a friend that I've been super close to for my whole life, up til now, except for my mom.

As I mentioned in my last entry, my grandparents adopted me, so this mom is actually my biological grandmother. She's raised me since I was a baby though, and she still tells the story to this day about how she was in the room when I was born & I grabbed her little finger & melted her heart. This picture was taken at our wedding in August 2009. Not long after our wedding, my mom was having a lot of falls at home, so for the month of October 09, she had to be in the nursing home. I was doubtful that she'd get to come home, but she did after a month, for about 6 more months. On April 30, 2010 though, she had to go back to the nursing home, where she's been since. I don't know if she'll ever get to come back home again or not, but I do know that no matter where she resides, we'll continue to be close.

30 Day Challenge--Day 1

2011-02-08T10:05:00.000-06:00

Several bloggers that I read have been doing this 30-day picture challenge on their blogs. I enjoy seeing/reading all of them, so I thought I'd do my best to take part. I can't guarantee I'll post 30 days in a row, but I will complete all of them eventually, that's for sure! It's fun to learn more about the people behind the blogs, and I've learned some stuff I never would have known if it weren't for this challenge! Hopefully you'll learn some stuff about me too!

Here is the outline for the challenge if you're interested in participating yourself!

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Day 04 - A picture of your night.

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

Day 25 - A picture of your day.

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.
*******

1. I married my best friend on 8/22/09 at a location that I've dreamed of being married at since I was a teenager--Allerton Park in Monticello, IL
2. I was adopted by my grandparents when I was in 2nd grade. This makes for a lot of confusion for people because I call both my bio-mom and grandma-mom by the name of "mom". It gets especially hilarious when I talk about when my mom (grandma-mom) gave birth to my dad (bio-dad).
3. I was raised an only child, but I have seven half-siblings.
4. Four of those siblings were adopted by other families when they were very young. In the last year I've gotten to meet two of them after over 15 years.
5. I can't straighten my arms all the way, never have been able to. They only straighten to maybe a 45 degree angle. No idea why, never got them checked out because it's never really inhibited my life in any way.
6. Friends is my favorite TV show and even though it's been off the air for years, I still quote episodes or relate situations to how "this like that one time on Friends when...". I also have all 10 seasons on DVD.
7. I have about a zillion hobbies, but I don't take the time to actually do any of them anymore. This is something I'd like to change.
8. I wouldn't ever drink pop if it wasn't brought into our house. I don't purchase it on my own and never order it at a restaurant, but if Eddie brings home a case of diet coke, I drink it. If it wasn't there, I wouldn't think twice about it.
9. I always wanted to have a daughter and name her Emily Rose. Then I married a guy with the last name LaRosa. So much for that one.
10. My favorite color is pink. Sometimes I buy things that I wouldn't normally want/need, just because it comes in pink.
11. I collect Willow Tree figurines. I don't have a huge collection, but they are filling up space on our fireplace mantle nicely. I always wanted to collect something.
12. We have 3 cats and a dog. I adopted two of the cats from the humane society when I got my first apartment as an adult. The third cat was inherited about a year later when I had a client unexpectedly die (I was a case manager for adults with developmental disabilities who lived on their own in the community but needed some support/guidance for some things). She had a kitten & an adult cat. The kitten was easy to find a home for, but the adult cat had vertigo & was kinda "special". I decided to take him in & it was the best decision ever. He's a sweet boy. Dora is our dog, and we got her a year after we were married. She's a little over a year and a half. There was a time when I wanted to give her back, when she was a puppy, but I'm glad we stuck through it because she's a great dog now!
13. I have a professional certification, but it's one that most people have never heard of. The letters after my name are CADP (Certified Alcohol & Drug Preventionist).
14. I have been at my job for nearly two years. This is the longest I've stayed at a full-time job, and I still enjoy it!
15. I took four years of Spanish in high school, but I can't speak much of it at all anymore. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Let me know if you decide to do this challenge, or if you're already doing it, I'd love to keep up with you!

Highs & Lows

2011-02-07T10:30:00.001-06:00

This week was a rollercoaster, health/fitness-wise.

Let's get the Lows out of the way first... I like to end on a high note.

1. I ate crap this weekend. Not ALL weekend, but portions of the weekend. No idea why, other than just boredom/laziness. I have a plan though--my plan is that I need a plan! No, seriously. I'm going to start a weekly meal plan/workout plan list so that I don't lose focus during the weekends. It's so easy to just be lazy (I didn't get dressed at all Sunday, no joke) and get off track when I don't have a structured day.

2. I didn't get Day 3 of C25K in during the first week. Our weather here was crappy, and I am an outdoor runner, rather than a treadmill runner, and I didn't get the third day in.

3. Also, I had to stop once during day 2. I paused my podcast and picked up where I left off, but I needed a 20-30 second break to get my breath--trying to focus on my breathing, in thru nose, out thru mouth, but sometimes I forget.

4. I'm thinking that realistically, I'm not going to be able to run a 5K by April 29--not the whole thing, anyway. I realize the C25K program is designed to work up from nothing, but week one is a challenge for all 300+ pounds of me... We'll see, I just gotta keep at it.

OK, now that that's out of the way, let's evaluate the highs from the week, shall we?

1. I RAN ON THE TREADMILL. Don't get me wrong, it certainly wasn't a "fast" run... in fact, some people could probably walk the pace I jogged (3.2), but it was a huge huge huge accomplishment to overcome my fear of not only running publicly, but also to do it on the treadmill. I wasn't sure if I'd actually do it, I was so scared/terrified, I actually wanted to cry, but I bucked up and I did it. I did NOT enjoy it, in fact, I think I held my body so tense the whole time that I ached the next day because of the tension, not the actual exercise! But, I did it. Will I do it again? Maybe, but certainly not as my first choice.

2. I lost weight this week! I was worried about my progress this past week because of being sick, plus being on meds (steroids included) that can tend to make you hold on to weight. However, I was amazingly surprised/shocked on Thursday to see that I had in fact lost. A whopping 9.2 pounds! I was so floored in fact, that I insisted I get off the scale & get back on it to verify its number! That means that I am at a weight I haven't seen in a very long time, and also one that puts me only 4 pounds away from using our home scale (I've been over the weight limit for quite some time)

3. In addition to losing a large chunk of weight this week, I reached/exceeded my 5% WW goal! I was so happy to FINALLY reach that! I had been flirting with the same 10-15 pound loss/gain for like 6 months, then this past month I've finally committed to things again & I surpassed that 10-15 pound mark & I'm at 22.8 pounds lost in 2011!

4. I was also the biggest loser at WW this week! Eddie had claimed that title for several weeks running (damn men and their fast weight loss!), but this week I earned it! (He did have a substantial 4+ pound loss this week too though!) It felt good to do so well!

5. I actually noticed weight loss in my face in the last week. Usually I don't notice a difference in myself when I lose weight, until it's been a drastic amount. However, last week I looked in the mirror after getting ready for work & I thought "you know, your face looks thinner!" So I snapped this picture:

For comparison, this was me back in October with our baby niece:

Surely the difference isn't just in my head. LOL.

So yeah, highs and lows... they're always gonna be there, I just gotta hope that the good outweighs the bad in the long-run!

Branching Outside My Comfort Zone

2011-02-04T09:04:00.000-06:00

Throughout the course of a long journey, sometimes you have to take detours... to go a different way than you were used to going. Maybe a different way than you've gone your whole life. Usually when you're used to going a certain way, you get pretty ticked that you have to take a detour--think about it, you're driving to work the way you've always gone, you know exactly how long it takes you to get there, what traffic will be like, etc, but then there's construction & you have to take a different way. It's frustrating because now it's going to take longer to get there and it's unfamiliar territory. But sometimes when you take that detour you discover things you would have never known existed if you had gone the "usual" way.

Weight loss is no different. Oftentimes an overweight person knows just as much about nutrition and "diets" as a non-overweight person. Most of us have TRIED to lose weight before, it's not that we lack the knowledge necessarily, but something derails us over time. I'm no exception to this, as you know if you've read this blog for a longer period of time. Maybe the thing that derails us though is doing things as we've always done them... taking the familiar "dieting" route. Yes, you know what works for you at first, but sometimes you have to take a detour from that comfortable route after awhile. I know I'm not alone in saying that the first few weeks eating healthy & moving more, you're really motivated... you're eating great foods, going to the gym, etc... but then maybe you get bored. Or tired of eating the same low cal/fat/carb/whatever foods. So you quit. I've been there. I've done that.

But maybe what we need to do is take a detour--go off the beaten path that you've made time and time again and spice things up! What that means to you will be very individualized... to me though, that means trying new foods and trying new activities. I used to get stuck in the rut of buying basically the same groceries every week because I knew points values and it was easiest. Figuring out new recipes or snack ideas took longer and took more effort. And exercise? Forget about it! I hated to exercise in public at all, let alone running on the streets of my town! But you know what? I need to do those things. I need to take the detour every once in awhile, and while it might take me longer to go that route, and it might be scary because it's unfamiliar, in the long run, branching outside that familiar, comfortable zone is going to be the key to my success.

I'm starting with small steps--doing the Couch to 5K program, working out at a busy gym (when before I would have gone home if I'd seen that many people there!), and trying new foods that earlier in life I'd declared that I "hated".

(the first time I ate McDonald's in over a month--Fruit & Maple Oatmeal! Only 7 Points Plus!)

So what are you doing to step outside your comfrot zone? What detours will you take? Ultimately we all want to end up in the same place--happy & healthy, but sometimes we have to take a different route to get there!

Couch to 5K

2011-02-03T10:48:00.000-06:00

Well, this week started week 1 of c25k. It's Thursday, and I've only done day 1 because we've had a nasty winter storm this week, but I'm hopeful that I'll get out there tomorrow & Saturday and finish up my first week!

It felt so good to actually complete w1d1. Let me just state that for the average person, jogging 60 seconds & walking 90 seconds consecutively for 20 minutes probably wouldn't be a big deal. But I am not your average person. I'm like 2.5 average people put together. And I haven't ran since high school, and only then because I had to, not because I chose to.

However, I did it!

By the end, I was SO ready to be done, and my "jog" was more of a "bouncy walk", but I freaking did it... willingly... without someone chasing me! (in the snow, no less)

Shout Outs

2011-01-29T16:59:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty excited today, because not only did I find out I won a prize pack on one of my favorite blogs, but another favorite blogger (who I think of as a huge inspiration/kind of like a celebrity) linked up to me today in her entry! I wanted to return the link love & send some traffic their way!

If you haven't already checked her out, head over to Diana's (AKA Scale Junkie) space and leave her some love! I won a great prize pack from Cheerios that she was sponsoring on her blog--I get a box of my FAVE cereal, a gym bag, water bottle, and cereal container!

Also, if you're not currently a reader of Julia's (AKA jewlia goulia) you should be--and why aren't you, btw? She's lost over 140 pounds in the last year or so and is such an inspiration! She also suffered a tragedy this week with the sudden loss of her mother, so please go leave her some love too!

Hope everyone's having a fabulous weekend! I've been pretty sick, but I powered through a 1-hour dance-cardio video today on the on demand FitTV station on our cable. I also officially registered for the Illinois Marathon's 5K today! My friend isn't going to be doing it with me, so I'll be training for this one on my own. C25K starts tomorrow! Any recommendations for good podcasts for it? I know they're out there, I just gotta find them!

Challenging Myself

2011-01-28T10:43:00.000-06:00

Earlier this month, I shared my goals and many of them were health/fitness related. I've been working all month to take steps to cross some of those off my list. I've been keeping all our meetings with the trainer, keeping a sticker chart of days that we exercise, and I've lost over 10 pounds this month alone! Things are going well! February is going to see me challenging myself even more.

We only have time with our trainer for about 5 more weeks. The last couple of weeks have been good, but I let her know that we could be pushed a little more. I want to take advantage of her while I have her, and I want her to push me. And push she did yesterday, we had one hell of a workout & my arms felt like jello afterwards... so much so that it hurt to turn the steering wheel once I got into my car! I want to be challenged, so I'm looking forward to that.

I've also pencilled into my calendar three 5Ks in 3 months. My goal is to be able to run one this year. I don't know how much of these three will see me running, but I will give it a try! In April I'm planning to participate in the Illinois Marathon's 5K (you even get a medal for finishing & you end on the 50 yard line of Memorial Stadium--the football field at the U of I--I'm very motivated by these factors!). I'm hopeful that a friend of mine will have interest in completing it with me. Last summer we discussed doing it & training with the C25K program. I've sent an email her way about it, so we'll see what her thoughts are. Regardless, I'm doing it! In May then is a local 5K called the Kirby Derby. Eddie's goal this year is to be able to walk a 5K, which is a feat for him since he's walked with a crutch for so long & not been able to walk long distances in a long time. He's planning to do the Kirby Derby with me. I can't wait to see him succeed! It will be such an accomplishment for him! Then finally, in June, I'm planning to do a Race for the Cure up in the Quad Cities with my friend Jenny. We've done it two years, then missed last year due to scheduling conflicts, but this year we're hoping to do it together again! I also emailed her about C25K & hope that she'll take me up on my offer to jog at least part of it! Three 5Ks in three months! Woo!

I've also joined an online challenge. A blogger I read, That Wife, is hosting a weight-loss challenge. It goes from February-September, and the person in the challenge that loses the largest percentage of weight gets a 2-hour photo session with her (she is a photographer!) and a disk of images to go along with it. I'm lucky enough that she is living in Chicago right now, so if I won her challenge I could get some amazing pro-pics done with Eddie in the Windy City! Another of my goals from my list up there is to get professional pictures taken, so what a great way to incorporate my fitness goals with some of my other goals! If you're interested in joining her challenge, click her link up there & check it out!

I'm feeling good about all the challenges the upcoming months hold. I had a really successful January and I can't wait to see what February holds!

Lack of Control

2011-01-25T09:12:00.000-06:00

No, this isn't an entry about how I've gone all crazy and been bingeing like mad the past week or so (though I know some of you crazies that read this would love that, right?). This is an entry about a *different* kind of lack of control... a good kind, actually.

The times in my life where I've been one to gorge on food because of whatever reason (happiness, sadness, all a previous reason to binge), I thought it was due to lack of control. I thought I lacked the control to straighten out and not eat like crazy. When in reality, it was just the opposite... I was in total control. But control isn't always a good thing. When things have been amiss in my life in the past, the one thing I could control was food. I was deciding that if I couldn't control all the other stuff that was going on, I could at least control food, and I was going to control it to my little heart's content... in a bad way. I was going to make the decision to eat whatever junk I wanted--because I was the boss & I was in control.

At the time, I didn't realize that... at the time, I thought it was a total lack of control that made my weight soar over 300 pounds. But hindsight is 20/20 and I didn't lack control. I freaking OWNED that food.

So flash forward to now... eating healthy, living the WW plan, etc. I should be IN CONTROL now, right? Only the thing is, if I'm "in control" it means that food is something that I need to have power over. I give food enough credit that if I'm not in control of it, then it will control me, right? I give food way too much credit.

I read a lot of weight loss blogs, and I know that not everyone will agree with my rambly thoughts up there... but I've seen so many of my online weight loss friends become OBSESSED with food, exercise, counting calories, etc. And in my mind, that means that food and things associated with it (even if it's HEALTHY food, etc) are the ones controlling you, not vice versa (Who has seen a number on the scale, for instance, and let it dictate their entire mood, for example?). Do I believe in being aware of what you eat, what activity you're doing, etc? Yes, of course, but I'm moving beyond the aspect of control... on my part, or food's part. It's just not that important. My health is important, of course, but I will not allow food to be the thing that makes me happy when I'm sad or celebrates with me when I'm happy. Food's purpose is to nourish my body, and that's it. So rather than agonize over food and what's off limits, etc, I'm letting go of that control. Call me crazy, but as long as I think of food as this big, powerful thing that can threaten my success, I'll be constantly worried that I won't be able to succeed. I'm throwing that idea away. I will succeed. You'll see.

Wednesday's Words of Wisdom

2011-01-19T16:56:00.000-06:00

A friend's facebook status had a quote that he'd seen somewhere and was reposting. I'm following suit & reposting this quote as well. I think it's great, and oh-so-true.

"It is not what I think I am that molds me and drives me, and it is not what you think I am that molds me and drives me. It is what I think that you think I am that molds me and drives me."

What are some of your favorite quotes? I'm thinking of doing a weekly words of wisdom entry, because I love to get inspiration from the words of another!

Steering Clear & Other Strategies for Success

2011-01-18T09:42:00.001-06:00

As some of you may know, I work as a prevention specialist at a local mental health center. What that means, is that the bulk of my job is spent in classrooms throughout the county teaching life skills to students, in an effort to prevent alcohol, tobacco, and other drug use. One lesson I teach is about peer pressure refusal strategies... you know, ways to handle peer pressure, such as saying no, walking away, etc. One of the strategies I teach though, is something called "steer clear". This strategy teaches that if you know something is going to be going on somewhere, where you think you might be pressured to do something you don't think is right, you simply steer clear of that situation and avoid it entirely. This strategy can also be applied to weight loss. For example, if I don't want to be tempted to get a Big Mac, steer clear of McDonald's. Seems simple, right?

However, just like kids can't always steer clear of those tempting pressure-filled situations, neither can adults when it comes to their weaknesses--mine in particular happens to be food. Sometimes there are people in our lives that either intentionally or unintentionally can sabotage our efforts for success. You would think that family and friends would be supportive when you're trying to better your life, but it doesn't always work that way. I've decided to take the concepts I teach in my peer pressure lesson (for 5th graders, btw), and apply it to my own life. I need to take the skills that I teach to the kids and utilize them for me when I find myself in those situations where I'm feeling pressured or not supported by others to reach my goals. There are nine strategies I teach, and I think just about every one of them can be useful in certain situations I might find myself in... maybe you can relate?

1. Say No. This seems like the most obvious way to combat the pressure to do something you don't think you should do. It's oftentimes easier said than done though, and this strategy works best when combined with another, because unfortunately sometimes "No, thank you" isn't enough to stop the pressure.
2. Broken Record. The broken record strategy just means that we keep repeating our reasoning not to do something if someone continue to pressure us. For example, if someone offers me a slice of cake & I politely say, "No, I don't care for any," then they continue to tell me how delicious it is, I would simply repeat the same phrase--like a record stuck repeating itself.
3. Ignore. I find this most effective when I have people in my life who make little side comments about how I "can't have this, since you're on your diet" or things of that nature. No matter how many times I reiterate that I can have anything I like, and that I'm not "on a diet", it doesn't get through to some people. In those cases, rather than waste my energy on setting the record straight, sometimes it's just better to ignore the comments & move on, knowing that I'm doing something good for my body & my future.
4. Walk Away. Sometimes removing yourself from the situation can be the best thing, especially because some people can be relentless in their efforts to negatively influence you. Are your coworkers trying to tempt you into eating the cake in the breakroom? Leave the breakroom! Sometimes this strategy is best used in combination with another. As I mentioned before, sometimes saying "no" isn't enough--if the pressure continues, just excuse yourself & get outta there!
5. Better Idea. When teaching this to the kids, I tell them that if someone tries to pressure you to do something you're uncomfortable with, suggest something else instead. So if they are wanting you to smoke, for example, you could say "I have a better idea, why don't we go hang out at my house instead." Well, adults can use the same technique when pressured to eat badly. A lot of times old friends want to catch up over lunch or dinner. If they suggest somewhere that I know I'll be tempted to eat something not-so-good, I can always suggest a better idea--a restaurant that I know I can eat something at and still stay on-plan for the day!
6. Make an Excuse. As an adult, it seems silly to tell you to make an excuse to get yourself out of the situation, but if these other strategies don't work, use it! Someone brought donuts to the staff meeting this morning? "No thank you, I'm still full from breakfast". It's as easy as that--just make an excuse to diffuse the situation!
7. State the Facts. Sometimes people honestly just don't know that you're trying to eat healthy or avoid certain foods. You can't blame someone for politely sharing their food or inviting you out for an unhealthy meal if they don't know what your situation is! So state the facts--let them know that you're trying to lose weight or eat more consciously and that you appreciate their offer, but no thanks! Even when you share this info with some people, they may still pressure you, but utilizing one of these other strategies can help you with dealing with that situation if/when it arises!
8. Reverse the Pressure. Those people I just mentioned that still pressure you despite knowing the facts? Well, reverse the pressure on them! This is most easily done by turning the situation back to them & asking them why they continue to ask you, despite knowing that you're trying to do something good for yourself. It puts them on the spot, which sometimes can quiet their mouths!
9. Steer Clear. Once again, we're back to what I started with, steering clear. This is a really important strategy for me to practice and use. You wouldn't encourage an alcoholic to go to a bar to get a glass of water, so avoid tempting situations that you know would make you feel weak & likely to give in or "relapse".

This weekend Eddie and I had date night (see our date blog at http://www.onecheapdate.wordpress.com/ ) and we went overboard with popcorn & pop at the movies. I had intentions to get their "healthy" option, which is a cup or two of popcorn, water, and a nutrigrain bar... but at the last minute, the decision was made to get a large popcorn & pop. Had I steered clear of the concession stand entirely, the crisis would have been averted. And you know what, even though I had points for that popcorn & pop, it didn't just end there... my body had a taste of the "old lifestyle" food, and it craved it all weekend. The next day, I felt like I couldn't get satisfied. I was constantly hungry & wanting sugar & salt. Junk led to me wanting more junk. Thankfully after about 24 hours, those cravings went away, and despite the cravings we still stayed within points all weekend. However, if I'd used some of these strategies, I may not have found myself in a jeopardizing situation.

So while I know that these 9 refusal strategies might seem childish or common sense, they really can be helpful to keep in mind. I know I'll be more aware of them now & try to use them on a more regular basis to deal with the enablers in my life & those that try to sabotage my success. What do you think? Could you appy these to your life?

Workin' It

2011-01-14T10:08:00.000-06:00

I spent the last week fully devoted to being on plan with the new WW program. I stayed within my daily/weekly points, but I just wasn't confident come weigh-in day. Usually I know if I've had a good or bad week. If I've stuck to the program, I know I'll lose weight... if I've not stuck to it, it's likely that if I lost, it's not much, or perhaps I've even gained. This week though, the equation didn't work out in my head. I followed the program. Which should mean I knew I'd lose weight... but I just wasn't so sure.

Eddie and I both were having issues with the amount of points we were given... we'd find ourselves with 20 or more extra points in the evening after dinner, but we didn't want to eat just to eat! We were actually having a hard time eating all our points! We certainly weren't feeling deprived... in fact, several nights we had treats, just as long as we had the points for them... one night we had wings for dinner, one night we had pizza, and one night we got ice cream. I think that's why I felt skeptical--we were staying w/in our points, but we still were indulging from time to time.

But all my worry was for nothing. The program works, even when you doubt it... if you follow it, you will lose weight. Bottom line.

8.4 pounds for me, 10.2 pounds for Eddie.

We ROCKED this new program this week! Granted, as we lose weight and our daily points values go down, we won't be able to indulge like this, but it's great to be able to take baby steps to go from our old lifestyle to a newer, healthy one. Right now, we dont' have to totally give up those treats, but as we lose, the treats will become less and less... it's just nice that it gets to be gradual, so we don't feel deprived.

We've also been going to the gym. Five days we exercised last week, which was more activity than we'd probably had in the previous year! It feels good to be doing something for ourselves & putting ourselves first! I was talking to Eddie this morning about how it's as much of a mental journey as it is a physical journey. Sometimes when good things happen, you get it in your head that it has to be "too good to be true". And sometimes, that really is how things are... but when it comes to following the program & losing weight... as long as you put in the work, you'll reap the rewards. So while it may seem "too good to be true" that we lost a combined 18+ pounds last week, the fact is that we earned those pounds and we worked hard to shed them from our bodies. As long as we continue to do that, it will never be too good to be true, because we earned it & we should be proud!

Goals for this week are going to be to continue our exercise routine (we're going to the pool after work today!) and to spread our points out a little more. Last week we found ourselves with extra points in the evening, so this week we're going to try to boost our breakfasts & lunches a little more so we won't be tempted to get those "treats" as much in the evening. It's great to feel confident about our journey. I should remember this day in the future if I'm feeling down or discouraged... I am capable of doing well, I just have to put in the work to earn it.

Beef Tenderloin with Mushroom Gravy

2011-01-09T17:44:00.000-06:00

I tried this recipe, found on weightwatchers.com, and it was SO delicious... delicious enough that I didn't even get a picture taken of it because we ate it right up! Trust me though, it looked as good as it tasted, and wasn't really very difficult at all to make.

Makes 4 servings, 7 Points Plus each

Ingredients:
3/4 pound(s) raw lean beef tenderloin, trimmed of all visible fat
3/4 tsp Durkee Ground Cumin Seed, or other brand
3/4 tsp table salt
1/4 tsp black pepper, freshly ground
2 tsp olive oil
2 medium onion(s), thinly sliced
8 oz mushroom caps, fresh, sliced
3 clove(s) (medium) garlic clove(s), minced
1 1/2 cup(s) Swanson 50% less sodium beef broth, or other brand
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
Instructions:
1. Preheat the oven to 425°F. Spray the rack of a roasting pan with olive oil nonstick spray and place in the pan.
2. Sprinkle the beef with 1⁄2 teaspoon of the cumin, 1⁄2 teaspoon of the salt, and 1⁄8 teaspoon of the pepper. Heat 1 teaspoon of the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the beef and cook, turning occasionally, until well browned, 6–8 minutes.
3. Place the beef on the rack in the pan and roast until an instant-read thermometer inserted in the center registers 135°F, 25–30 minutes. Transfer to a platter and let stand 10 minutes (The internal temperature will increase to 145°F for medium-rare.)
4. Meanwhile, heat the remaining 1 teaspoon oil in the same skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onions, mushrooms, garlic, and the remaining 1⁄4 teaspoon cumin, 1⁄4 teaspoon salt, and 1⁄8 teaspoon pepper; cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions and mushrooms are browned and softened, 9–10 minutes. Add the broth and Worcestershire sauce; bring to a boil. Boil until the liquid is reduced by about one-third, 7–8 minutes. Yields 2 slices beef with 3 tablespoons sauce per serving.

*Notes*
I changed some things up a bit--I couldn't find a beef tenderloin roast that was this small, but I was able to find beef tenderloin steaks, so I used them instead. Because they were smaller individually than a roast, I browned for less time (about 4 minutes total) and cooked them on 350 for 25 minutes. They were cooked perfectly & SO tender! I also used 2 cups beef broth, as that's what comes in a can & I didn't feel like wasting 1/2 cup of perfectly good beef broth. Because this made it a little more liquid-y, I added a tsp flour (cornstarch would work too) to thicken it a bit more.

Again, this stuff was SO good and I'd highly recommend it!

Day Two Success & a Recipe

2011-01-06T09:11:00.000-06:00

Day Two=Much Better Than Day One!

I successfully squeaked my way through a really great day two--though I feel like I'm eating so much now, since fruits/veggies are zero points! I love having that freedom to eat an orange or a banana & not think about how that's a few less points I have in my budget for the day. I also had a ton of points at the end of my day (and you're supposed to eat all your points so you make sure you're eating enough) and I treated myself to a dish of ice cream. No guilty feelings necessary because the points were there, I measured out my ice cream, and I enjoyed every bit!

Dinner was a new dish. I got it from the WW website, but I modified it a bit. It's a really versatile dish that you can eat just on its own, or you can throw it in a tortilla, eat it on a bed of lettuce, top some brown rice with it... the options are endless! We opted to cook some brown rice & add some taco seasoning to it to make a seasoned rice, and it was pretty good... but it was a TON of food per serving!

Southwest Chicken
1 pound chicken breasts, diced & cooked
2 small onions, thinly chopped
1/2 red bell pepper, diced
1/2 green bell pepper, diced
1 can black beans, drained & rinsed
1 cup canned corn, drained
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp lime juice
2 tbsp taco seasoning (reduced sodium)

1. Add 1 tbsp olive oil to a skillet & cook onions & peppers until tender. Add beans and corn and heat through. Set aside in a dish.
2. In same skillet, cook your chicken breast through. Once cooked, add the remaining olive oil, lime juice, and taco seasoning. Stir to coat.
3. Add your veggie mixture back into the skillet & mix all items together, making sure veggies are heated through.
4. Serve as-is or with rice, tortillas, lettuce, etc. It's also good topped with low fat sour cream (for extra points) and salsa!

Makes 4 generous servings at 8 Points Plus each. If served over a cup of brown rice, add 4 Points Plus

Day One Meltdown

2011-01-05T09:28:00.000-06:00

So wanna hear a good recipe for disaster? Starting your healthy eating/exercise plan on the same day that you go back to work after having 4 days off, as well as it being that lucky time of the month for me.

I did good for 2/3 of the day. Really good. In fact, I still had 35 points left going into dinner and I'm wondering how on earth am I gonna eat all those points? (Anyone else doing the new WW have this same issue... now that fruits/veggies are zero points, I feel like I have soooo many points & don't know what to do with them!) So I go to make dinner... and the kitchen is a mess. There's no clean silverware or plates because we haven't gotten them cleaned up for our big holiday fun times... and I have a total meltdown. All I can think about is how I want to eat the Reese's that I got in my stocking and I want to have my favorite pizza that wasn't open on our "last night of freedom". And I pouted like a big dumb baby. And I cried.

It was DAY ONE and I was already having a freakout? We were supposed to work out with our trainer that day, but she called sounding sick as a dog, so we didn't work out. I have high anxiety about going places & doing things that I've never done before, so I opted not to go to the gym on my own w/o the trainer there to explain how things work. So I blew it off.

And then I start to feel guilty because I'm supposed to be there for Eddie and it's DAY ONE and I'm already talking about how I want to eat crap for "just one more day" and he's trying to be supportive, like we talked about, and telling me about how good we did all day & how he'll cook dinner & wash dishes, and I was just being a brat & wasn't having any of it. I wanted my damn peanut butter cups and pizza. Like a freaking child. And so I ate them. And temporarily it made me feel better--but I've gotta find a way to feel better w/o running back to the old standby, cuz that's what got me here! So I counted my remaining 35 points for the day, as well as the 49 flex for the week as all used up, and I turned on the Biggest Loser for some focus.

Today is a new day. And yesterday wasn't a complete failure. I ate way healthier yesterday than I have for several weeks. So I binged a little at dinnertime--I'm not proud of it--but I still did better than before. Until 6:30PM, it was a great day. And so today I'll work harder to stay focused all day. I know I can do it, it's just a matter of doing it.

Sharing My Goals

2011-01-03T20:20:00.001-06:00

Every year for as long as I can remember I've made a goal list, rather than making resolutions. I know, call them what you want, they're pretty much the same... but I liked the idea of goals better... resolutions often get forgotten about within a few weeks! Last year I made a goal list, but I failed to evaluate it periodically as I'd done in the past, and I didn't achieve all that I had hoped. Not long after the new year in 2010 though, I decided I'd like to put together a list of 101 in 1001. The idea is that you list 101 things that you'd like to do in 1001 days (about 2 years, 9 months). It took me a long time to put this list together, but I finally finished naming my goals in December (9 months after starting the list!). So, rather than annual goals for 2011 & 2012, I will be working on my 101 in 1001 list! Here you have it!

101 in 1001—started 2/1/10

Family/Friends
1. Send birthday cards instead of emails/texts in 2011
2. Reconnect with an old friend
3. Meet Mathew
4. See Christina again
5. See JC again
6. Spend time with Hannah
7. Take Robin to a movie
8. Invite Hope up for a visit
9. Cater in Red Lobster to Mom
10. Have a discussion with Poppy if/when he leaves nursing home

Personal
11. Go to a psychic for fun (11/10)
12. Sing karaoke by myself
13. Write a future me letter to be opened on day 1001 (9/23/10)
14. Have shamrock tattoo re-done
15. Eat a meal with chopsticks
16. Bake a red velvet cake from scratch
17. Meet a celebrity
18. Complete elephant journal 10/10—12/11
19. Actively participate in therapy
20. Complete homemade xmas gifts for Mom/Poppy
21. Make myself an afghan
22. Frame & hang more pictures for house
23. Organize clothes & store them by size or season
24. Continue to keep “peace” journal
25. Have a Monticello garage sale
26. Clean parents’ upstairs
27. See my car turn over 100,000 miles
28. Finish thinking of 101 things! (12/28/10)
29. Re-read the Harry Potter series
30. Treat myself to a pedicure for no special reason

Husband
31. Have a baby
32. Go on a date to the drive-in
33. Celebrate our first anniversary (8/22/10)
34. Take a hot air balloon ride together
35. Finish our 52 dates jar
36. Go to a pro-sports game together
37. Go on a road trip together with no planned destination
38. Offer to mow the lawn w/o being asked
39. Get professional pictures taken
40. Initiate more "you know"

Crafts/Hobbies
41. Get 100 blog followers
42. Read all 20 Rebecca Caudill books from a single year
43. Successfully read 50 books in 1 year’s time
44. Complete a Project 365
45. Blog about 52 dates, 52 weeks
46. Take a class for fun
47. Make anniversary photo book (9/10/10)
48. Start an etsy shop
49. Complete 2 scrapbooks
50. Organize craft stuff & set up work area
51. Make Eddie a hat
52. Join or start a club of some sort (like stitch n’ bitch or a book club)
53. Make stuffed animals as baby gifts in 2011
54. Re-read the Time Traveller’s Wife
55. Read The Giver series

Health/Fitness
56. Run a 5K
57. Complete the C25K program
58. Meet my 5% WW goal
59. Meet my 10% WW goal
60. Lose 50 pounds
61. Lose 75 pounds
62. Lose 100 pounds
63. Bike 5 miles in 1 trip
64. Bike 10 miles in 1 trip
65. Keep a sticker chart of gym use in 2011
66. Complete all personal training sessions
67. Be able to run 1 mile
68. Take a daily vitamin (finish whole bottle)
69. Consistently post progress/recipes to Teale’s Meals (100 posts in 2011)
70. Contact 94.5 about progress in July 2011

Finances
71. Eliminate credit card debt
72. Donate to Mix Christmas Wish in 2011
73. Put $ away for life insurance policy
74. Settle work comp case
75. Pay off hospital bills
76. Open a Christmas Club account in 2011
77. Pay for most Christmas gifts with Swagbucks in 2011
78. Make a budget & follow it for 6 consecutive months
79. Don’t eat out for one month straight
80. Create bill organization so I don’t forget when things are due

Home
81. Create a nursery
82. Make homemade ice cream with our ice cream maker (5/25/10)
83. Start a garden
84. Re-do the back yard landscaping
85. Add lattice to shed bottom
86. Plant morning glories by lattice in front
87. Have a fire in our fireplace (11/10)
88. Successfully host a party at our house (12/24/10)
89. Paint spare bedroom
90. Put up blinds/curtains in every room

Travel
91. Travel to Hershey, PA
92. Travel to Gatlinburg, TN (2/12/10)
93. See the Grand Canyon
94. Get a passport
95. Go to Canada for Melissa’s wedding in June 2011
96. See Niagara Falls
97. Make a photobook about Canada trip
98. Keep a travel journal when we travel
99. Visit the St. Louis Zoo
100. Visit the Sears Tower “ledge”
101. Go to IKEA

A Gift of Opportunity

2010-12-08T15:05:00.000-06:00

I know I haven't written here in awhile, but I do hope there are a few who will read this & share in my joy. It's gonna be a long one, but bare with me!

A local radio station does a "Christmas Wish" every year, and this year I decided to submit one for my husband to be the recipient of. I doubted that we'd be selected, but I figured it was worth a shot. This is what I wrote:
My Christmas wish this year is for my husband, Eddie. We met almost three years ago and hit it off immediately. Neither of us were looking to date someone, but when it's meant to be, it just happens. Our first 9 months of dating were seamless. We had fun, we were active, and we were always on the go. Eddie proposed in December 2008 and we began to plan for our August 2009 wedding. About a month into our planning, however, Eddie injured his knee at work. He worked in a highly physical job as a diesel mechanic, working on semi-truck trailers. The injury was very debilitating and didn't get better on its own. He was unable to do his job and was placed on work comp and scheduled for surgery in mid-May 2009.

It was a struggle to plan our dream wedding without him working, but we did the best we could. On top of the added stress of wedding planning, we also had to worry about how his knee was healing. After his surgery, recovery was difficult. He had begun to gain weight due to not having the physical activity that he once had on the job, and this weight gain made healing even harder. He went to physical therapy for months. It was not only tough on him physically, but mentally it was hard on him too, because as a new husband, he had to stay at home while I went to work. It was an untraditional role & was difficult for him to accept it. Finally though, in late October 2009, Eddie was released back to work, which we thought was a great thing... until two weeks later, when his same knee was re-injured.

He was devastated. He had been off work for nearly 10 months before he finally got to go back, and now another injury! This time we were told that if it wasn't better in 12 weeks, his job would no longer carry him on their insurance. So now we had the added pressure of hoping his knee healed before our "deadline" so that he wouldn't be one of the many uninsured Americans who is unable to get insurance on their own due to pre-existing conditions. (During Eddie's time of being off work, he developed high blood pressure, diabetes, and gained nearly 100 pounds). He was not in a good place physically or mentally. Our 12-week deadline came and went, and we had no other choice but to enroll him in a COBRA plan to keep him insured. This giant bill each month made things even more difficult on just my meager income. We made it work though, because we had no other choice.

Eddie's knee didn't get better on its own, and he had to have a second surgery just about one year to the date of his previous one. In May 2010 they operated again, but unfortunately he has once again not healed properly. The doctors told him that he'd likely never return to his field (one that he spent several years learning at a trade school--and we still pay the bill on!) and that short of a knee replacement, there wasn't much they could do for him, especially at his weight. We decided to seek another opinion and went to a specialist who agreed that weight loss would be necessary before another needed surgery.

My husband and I are both very overweight people. We've both tried to lose weight in the past, and had successes, but unfortunately gained the weight back, and then some. Eddie's weight has creeped up since his injury, and I hate to see how physically he's not able to do what he once was, and I also hate to see how that takes a toll on him mentally/emotionally. It's discouraging to be 25 years old and not be able to walk around the block because of extreme pain & needing to use a crutch most of the time. Because he is extremely limited physically, exercise is nearly impossible, unless it works only his upper body. The only other option for weight loss is learning to eat a better, healthier diet, and doing the best he can that way.

I have had success with Weight Watchers in the past, and earlier this year joined again. It was a gift from my parents to pay for a membership for me for a year, because financially we were unable to afford the $40/month for me to attend. I was so thankful for that gift they gave me, and I tried to incorporate what I learned at WW meetings to our home life so that Eddie could benefit as well, even though he wasn't a member. He had a bit of success following along with me, and I would take him to free meetings whenever they were offered so he could see others that were in the same boat he was. We recently attended a meeting where a panel of successful members spoke about their success. After the meeting Eddie spoke up and told about his struggles and thanked them for being so inspiring. Afterwards, a kind stranger approached us & encouraged Eddie to join the program so that he could have success too. We explained that our financial situation simply does not allow for us to spend the money each month on a membership. To our surprise, this member graciously offered to sponsor a 3-month membership for Eddie to at least kick-start his weight loss and get him working toward his goal weight so that he can have another surgery. We were so amazed by this wonderful gift! It's only been a few weeks on the program, but Eddie has lost nearly 10 pounds, and I'm so proud of him! Unfortunately though, a 3-month membership isn't going to get him to his goal weight. Sure, he could still follow the program without the support of meetings, but those meetings are so, so important to a person's success, that I really want him to be able to continue. I've contemplated giving the remainder of my 1-year membership to him because I know that his quality of life will not improve without weight loss. I know we both need the program though, so I hate to have only one of us do it--we need the support of each other so we can reach our goal.

That's why this year, my Christmas wish is for Eddie to have a few more months of Weight Watchers meetings covered so that he can at least lose a little more before having to do it without the support of meetings. I know that he can lose the weight, and I'm going to be right there beside him, supporting him & trying to lose my weight as well. Having the support of each other, as well as other members at the meetings is really going to be the key to our future success. I realize that you can't grant every Christmas wish you receive, but I appreciate you taking the time to read them all and take them all into consideration. I want the best for my husband, and it makes me so sad to see him in excrutiating physical and mental pain day in and day out. The fact that we can't be as active as many newlyweds in their mid-twenties could be is hard, but we try to make the best of it. We try to be thankful for what we do have instead of focusing on what we're limited to due to physical and financial reasons, and we'll continue to do that, even if my wish for him can't be granted. Thank you and have a blessed holiday season.

I got a phone call yesterday. It was the radio station. She said that they were moved by my letter & they thought that my wish was really unique & wanted me to tell them my story again on the phone. After telling a condensed version, she told me that they wanted to help us out and grant my wish, but they wanted to do a little better than what I was asking for.

The radio station and Weight Watchers are paying for BOTH Eddie and I to have 1-year memberships! Not only that, but they are also paying for he and I BOTH to have 1-year memberships to our local gym, along with 6 weeks with a personal trainer! I thought that in itself was unbelievable, but there was more. My WW leader, Jennifer, has offered to go grocery shopping with us to be our personal shopping consultant while we spend a $300 gift card to a local grocery store for healthy food. I was floored... and she kept talking! Then after losing some weight, we're going to need new clothes, so they are also providing us with a $300 gift card to our local outlet mall. I was speechless. All I was asking was for my husband to get a few more months of support with the program, and they went so far beyond my wildest dreams. This is truly a gift for both of us and will be such an amazing year thanks to the people at the station and the people that donate to make this kind of thing possible.

This time last year, Eddie and I asked for half of our Christmas gift from my parents to go to a local family in need to help them provide Christmas gifts for their children. We felt like it was the right thing to do, to give them a Christmas they could enjoy... and a year later, someone is doing that for us, only it's so much more than just a Christmas gift... they are giving us a gift of opportunity. We have the opportunity and now we have the means to actually make getting healthy a possibility and a priority. I couldn't say thank you enough... there just weren't words.

Thankful x2

2010-11-06T22:29:00.000-05:00

November 5, 2010:

I'm thankful for afternoon snuggles with Eddie, and our pooch Dora who likes to butt in. But I'm also thankful for Dora sandwiches, cuz she gives some pretty good snuggles herself!

November 6, 2010:

I am also thankful for Walmart's Halloween selection being $1 or less so that I could get this sweet butterfly princess costume for my cat! Also thankful that Princess Prettygirl has a pretty good cat sense of humor & allowed me to put this ridiculous costume on her with very little protest!!! (It only stayed on about 5 minutes, I don't torture my cat, I promise!).

Progress & Thankful Day 4

2010-11-04T21:17:00.000-05:00

Today I am thankful for support and partnership in my weight loss journey, especially from this guy! Eddie joined WW with me last week and he had an amazing week eating on plan. So amazing that he earned the snake at our meeting tonight! The person who loses the most weight at the meeting that week gets to take the snake home. Two weeks ago, I got the snake, and tonight, he got to proudly take it home--with a whopping 8.4 pounds lost! So proud of him & thankful for him!

I also had a pretty good week and had a good loss to show for it. Though I did battle a bit with the Halloween candy, I still put up 3.4 pounds lost on the scale this week. This also put me below a weight that I was hoping to see disappear soon, and I"m so glad that it's a goner! I'm down a little over 7 pounds from my May starting weight (remember, I had to lose that chunk I gained over the summer, so thankfully all that is just about gone!) and Eddie's down a little over 8 pounds. We both got to celebrate with our 5 pound star stickers tonight!

Here's to another good, on-plan week!

Tart Apple Pork + Thankful Day 3

2010-11-03T18:04:00.001-05:00

Today I'm thankful for my big kitchen & amazing Calphalon pans that we got as a wedding gift from my aunt. We could have never afforded them on our own, and they're wonderful! I'm finding myself doing more cooking lately, and I'm so glad I have the space to do it (and a husband that cleans it for me from time to time!)
* * *
Tonight I decided to give another new recipe a try. This is from weightwatchers.com, and while I modified it to make more servings (and it altered the points amount), the recipe I'm posting is straight from the WW website.

Tart Apple Pork (4 servings/6 points each)
16 oz lean boneless pork chop, center-cut, trimmed of all visible fat
1 Tbsp rosemary, fresh, chopped
1 Tbsp thyme, fresh, chopped
1/2 tsp table salt
1/4 tsp black pepper, freshly ground
2 tsp canola oil
2 medium apple(s), Granny Smith, peeled, cored, and sliced
1 large onion(s), thinly sliced
2/3 cup(s) apple juice, unsweetened variety
2 Tbsp honey mustard

Sprinkle the chops with the rosemary, thyme, salt, and pepper. Heat 1 teaspoon of the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chops and cook until browned and cooked through, 4–5 minutes on each side; transfer to a plate and cover to keep warm.
Heat the remaining 1 teaspoon oil in the same skillet over medium heat. Add the apples and onion. Cook, stirring occasionally, until tender and golden, about 8 minutes. Stir in the apple juice and honey mustard; bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, uncovered, until the sauce thickens slightly, about 5 minutes. Return chops to pan and cook, turning once, to heat through, about 2 minutes. Yields 1 chop with 1⁄2 cup apple mixture per serving.

* * *
What I did differently: I used the generic "crystal lite" that was apple flavored, rather than buy apple juice that we wouldn't drink. I thickened the sauce a little with 1 tbsp flour (I didn't have cornstarch or I would have used that). I also used more pork, so I doubled most things. The recipe as written yields 4 servings, at 6 points each though.

This was pretty good. I was hesitant, as I'm not usually one to care for cooked fruit (I don't like fruit pies, generally), and I'm also pretty picky about honey mustard, because I don't really like mustard. This turned out all right though. Eddie ate it up & said he'd definately have it again. I think I would too. The pork chops by themselves were really good too, with the salt/pepper/rosemary/thyme on it, and I'd probably have them by themselves sometime too, because I really enjoyed the flavor of it. Overall, a success. It was easy to make, it just took about 40 minutes of active cooking/preparation in the kitchen... not a recipe that you can just pop in the oven and forget.

Pork isn't something I often think about getting, but I do enjoy it when I take the time to make it! What are your favorite pork recipes?

Spaghetti Squash

2010-11-02T18:03:00.000-05:00

When the husband and I visited the pumpkin patch last week, the produce was all half price. This meant that spaghetti squash were only $2, which was cheaper than I'd seen them before when I'd considered buying them. I'd never tried them, but everywhere I read said that it was a great, healthy alternative to actual spaghetti, and that there was hardly any difference in taste/texture. Let me just say that I was quite nervous to try this... I get in a comfort zone with my foods and hesitate to try new things sometimes. I also have a very "meat & potatoes" husband, so convincing him that we should try this was a feat. He agreed to try it, so we purchased two. And tonight I gave it a try.

First, you cut your spaghetti squash in half, long-ways. It's pretty firm, so try not to cut a finger off in the process. Next, take a spoon and scoop out all the seeds in the center. Place face-down on a cookie sheet and bake in a 350 degree oven for 45 minutes. (sidenote--next time I'd cook mine a little longer because I had 4 halves on a cookie sheet & I don't think the heat distributed evenly; some parts were a little more firm)

Once they're finished cooking, fluff out the "spaghetti" gently with a fork. It'll look something like this:

We tossed a couple tablespoons of butter in the spaghetti with some salad tongs, as recommended by a few recipes. It smelled pretty good at this point, but I was still pretty nervous. The shells will look like this when they're scraped clean:

While the squash is cooking, I made my own sauce, which I've posted about before... I usually do some variation of the same type of chunky marinara--canned seasoned tomatoes of some sort, onion, garlic, spinach, etc. I basically just make it to taste. I also like to add parmesan & sometimes shrimp, which I did tonight.

Once both the squash & sauce were finished, all that was left to do was add the squash to our bowls, top with sauce, and give it a try...

The verdict from my husband?

He gave it a definate thumbs up! He couldn't tell the difference between the spaghetti squash and regular spaghetti! I wasn't AS sold on the spaghetti squash has he was, but I would try it again. I'm a big texture person, so that was my only problem... the texture was a little more firm than I thought it would be, and that may just mean I need to cook it longer next time. It also looks like sourkraut, which I don't like, so I tried not to look at it much. LOL. Next time I think I'd also just use a jar of pasta sauce so that it coats the "noodles" better, as I think that would help with my texture issue.

Overall, not a bad meal... and totally low in calories/points. If you didn't put the shrimp in it like I did, it's a completely vegetarian meal! You could certainly use meat sauce if you wanted, but that would add to the calories/fat. With just veggies or shrimp, it's only 2-3 points per serving, which is definately pretty awesome for a huge bowl of "pasta"!

Any other recipes for spaghetti squash that you've tried & liked? Link up!

Thankful Day 2

2010-11-02T11:43:00.002-05:00

Thankful for my freedom & the right to vote!

Giving Thanks & A Recipe

2010-11-01T21:19:00.000-05:00

Considering this is November, and November means Thanksgiving, I'm going to take a stab at being thankful for things all month. A blog pal of mine that I've had for a few years started a "thankful" blog awhile back, and I really like that idea. I'm going to join her, at least for November, in posting daily about something I'm thankful for. (This also coincides with November being "blog posting" month, where bloggers attempt to post once daily for the month, so I'll be working towards that goal as well!)

Today (and every day) I'm thankful that I get to wake up next to this face every day. Every day is made better because he's in my life.

* * * * *
Now, a recipe! Nothing too original here, just a twist on a classic, Sloppy Joe's

We're trying to use up some of the food in our house that's been around for awhile & gets pushed to the back of the cabinet, and this weekend I found a can of Manwich. I'm not a huge fan of the stuff, but Eddie loves it, so I decided we'd make sloppy joe's tonight, but a version that's a little different than just meat & sauce on a bun.

Sloppy Joe's (35 points for entire recipe)
1 pound ground beef
1 can Manwich
2 medium onions, diced
1 tbsp garlic, minced
1 c. spinach, chopped
1/2 c. chopped carrots
2 stalks celery, chopped

1. Saute all veggies in small amount of olive oil. When all veggies are cooked & tender, remove from heat & place to the side.
2. Brown ground beef (or turkey) and drain any excess grease. Add veggies back to the mixture, then add the sauce & heat through.
3. Serve in low-calorie pitas or low-calorie buns of your choice. (I prefer pitas because they are less messy!)

Not a very difficult recipe, just a little twist on an old favorite!

When the Going Gets Rough...

2010-10-29T10:25:00.000-05:00

...you have to have faith that it will be okay.

Since marrying my best friend in the world, our life has not been easy. Our *relationship* has been fantastic and wonderful and every other good word that there is... but life, it's been HARD. I won't go into the details of everything, but my husband was injured at work before we were married, and he hasn't worked in nearly 2 years. Thankfully we receive a worker's comp check each week, but it's a fraction of what he would be making if able to work, and on top of that, my 40 hours were cut to 35 back in July. So while 5 hours doesn't seem like much, it adds up when you're hurting as it is. Financially, this has been the most difficult year ever. But we keep on trucking, because really, that's all you can do. Our mortgage payment is always our priority, followed by utilities, but sometimes other bills have had to be late because the money just wasn't there.

On top of our financial issues, there have been a number of health issues in our little family, as well as with extended family. I won't elaborate much, because although this is my blog and I don't mind sharing about myself, I don't know that others would want their business broadcast on the internet. So let's just say it's been a hard time, health-wise for people I love, and that has impacted me throughout the last year or so.

There have been times over the past year that I've felt so overwhelmed and felt that I was carrying the world on my shoulders, just trying to keep it all together. I've always been "the fixer" and unfortunately that role oftentimes gets utilized so often that people don't realize it takes a toll on a person. Also, being the fixer, you learn to put others before yourself. In theory, that concept is great; I have always been one to worry about others and help others whenever possible... but in reality, if you always put others first, you never have to/get to worry about yourself. And that's probably been why I am the weight I am. It can be my excuse, and it has been... I can't worry about losing weight right now because so and so needs me, or I need to be there for so and so... I allow myself to be less important so that I don't have to face my fears and let go of the weight once and for all.

But I'm not going to do that anymore.

I never used to let people do things for me (even though I did nice things for others, I hated for people to go out of their way for me). However, last week, a kind stranger did something for my family that is going to change our lives if we let it. This woman reached out to my husband and I and offered us a gift that will help us stay on track and get our weight under control. I know that sounds rather vague, but it's all I plan to share publicly, again, because this is my space, not other peoples' and I don't want to share more than others would be comfortable with.

It's time to really embrace taking time for myself and making myself a priority. There's nothing wrong with that, and I need to work towards realizing that. And there's also nothing wrong with telling someone else that I can't give them what they're needing from me right now because I have to be a little selfish for awhile. Being selfless has allowed me to put myself on the back burner.. and it's time for me to take the wheel for awhile and take charge of my life. It's time to be in control for good.

Stuffing Burgers

2010-10-24T18:04:00.000-05:00

A few years ago when I first started this blog, I posted about something called Stuffing Burgers here. Those were 2 point burgers, and I decided to make them again tonight, but added some things to it. I also used what I had around the house, which meant no egg beaters (I prefer regular eggs these days) and I didn't have lean ground beef, I had the 85/15 stuff, which I know, isn't the healthiest, but it was what was on sale... so, my re-vamped burgers ended up making 12 patties at 3 points each. They were delicious and I highly recommend you give them a try!

Stuffing Burgers (12 servings/3 points per serving)
-1 pound 85/15 ground beef (obv. the leaner the better, but this is what I had)
-1 box Savory Herb Stovetop Stuffing
-1 cup water
-1 egg, beaten
-1 tbsp minced garlic
-1/2 c. chopped onion
-2 cups uncooked spinach, chopped

To start off, mix your water, egg, and stuffing mix in a bowl. Stir until the stuffing is moist & set aside for 10 minutes to allow all the liquid to be soaked in. After 10 minutes has passed, add your garlic, onion, and spinach, then your ground beef. I prefer to use my Kitchenaid stand mixer to mix all of this together cuz it keeps my hands clean, but if you don't have one of those, dig in and mix with your clean hands! After everything is mixed well, make 12 meatballs (roughly 1/2 cup per meatball, maybe a little bit more) then pat into patties. Cook in a skillet for about 2.5 minutes per side, and you've got tasty burgers in nothing flat!

Sometimes what I like to do is make the patties and store them individually in ziplock baggies then freeze them to have at a later time. However you do it, it's good! I also like to top with a small amount of crumbled feta. The cheese complements the flavors of the herbs just right, in my opinion!

I've never had these burgers on a bun, as I feel like they're tasty as-is, but they'd probably be just as tasty that way too!

What are your favorite healthy burger recipes?

Playing catch-up

2010-10-22T10:49:00.000-05:00

My time back on WW has been going pretty well. I've had losses 3 weeks in a row, including a significant 4.8 pound loss this week! This was a big deal for me this week, because it means I've made up a good portion of the weight I gained back over the summer when I went on my WW hiatus. I still have a few more pounds to go to get to the point I had lost before, but I'm getting there. Over the summer, I gained an embarrassing 17.6 pounds. This means that when I went back to WW 3 weeks ago, I was at my all-time-ever-highest weight. I weighed more than when I started the program back in May. I was beyond embarrassed. To see that +17.6 from my previous weigh-in til that day was tough. But it was reality. And in the past 3 weeks, I've gotten rid of 10 of those 17.6 pounds, so I am at least in "positive" territory as far as being below my starting weight from May. It's good to get rid of that weight!

This week I also earned "The Snake" at my meeting. Why we use a stuffed snake, I have no idea, but whoever loses the most weight each week gets this stuffed snake to take home with them to celebrate with all week. I was the biggest loser this week, so I got the snake! I put him on top the fridge looking down on me so that whenever I go to munch, I'll see that as a reminder that I did great this week & need to keep up the good work!

Shrimp Florentine

2010-10-18T22:20:00.001-05:00

I didn't have an exact plan for dinner this evening, but I knew it was going to involve pasta and shrimp. I gathered up what I had in the house to concoct some deliciousness, and it turned out great! (I would have a picture, but the uploader on blogger is being insanely slow for me... so you can find a picture on my 365 project site here: http://365project.org/tealeth922/365/2010-10

I call this entree Shrimp Florentine. I'm not really sure what constitutes something as "florentine" but it sounded good, and tasted good... here's what I used:

1 onion, diced
5 large fresh mushrooms, diced
1 hand-full (maybe 1 cup?) spinach, chopped
2 tbsp garlic, minced
1 cup large pre-cooked shrimp, tails removed (it was about 20 shrimp)
2 tbsp butter
1 tbsp olive oil
3 tbsp flour
2 c. skim milk
1/4 c. parmesan
1/2 box angel hair pasta, cooked
salt/pepper to taste

1. Add olive oil, veggies, and 1 tbsp garlic to a skillet and sautee until all veggies are cooked through. Remove from pan & set aside.
2. Melt butter and add 1 tbsp garlic to pan. Warm shrimp through (or cook through if you don't use pre-cooked shrimp!) then remove & set aside with cooked veggies.
3. Add flour to butter that remains in the pan to make a rue. Slowly add milk to the rue while whisking to ensure all lumps are gone.
4. Cook on medium-high heat until sauce begins to bubble and thicken. Cook about 3 minutes while stirring constantly & allowing the sauce to continue to thicken a bit. Add parmesan to sauce, then add in veggies and shrimp.
5. Serve over angel hair pasta--4 servings.

It was SO good! Eddie said he'd have it again and was really happy with how tasty my improvised recipe was! Definately a recipe to try (and remember, see my 365 project site to see what it looked like!)

Two Weeks

2010-10-18T11:20:00.000-05:00

The past couple weeks since getting back into the WW swing of things have gone pretty well. I know I haven't been as diligent with counting points as I need to be, but I've still had some successes. I saw a loss on the scale week before last, as well as last week, totalling 5 pounds. That's definately positive progress!

A couple weeks ago, they were having a promotion where you could bring a friend for free. I drug my husband along so he could see exactly what it was that I did at my WW meetings and so that he could maybe be encouraged to do the program with me, even if he didn't join. To my surprise, he even participated in the discussion at the meeting--I was so proud of him! It was a huge group too, and usually he doesn't talk much around new people, but he was there next to me, supporting me, and it meant so much! He's going to be joining after Christmas, I believe, just due to finances, but he's still going to be eating like me and watching what he eats as much as possible until then. He even called me the other day to ask what a good fast food option would be, as he had to eat out that day. Also, this weekend, when my mother-in-law offered to buy us dinner at Sonic, we got onthe computer and calculated points before we ordered. She offered to buy us chili-cheese coneys, and I was appalled to find out that they are TWENTY points each! I went with grilled chicken instead!

We also went grocery shopping this weekend and bought a lot of healthy alternatives to keep the house stocked, and we have some pretty good meals planned for this week. Hopefully some of them will make an appearance on here! I have a veggie/shrimp/pasta that I'm planning out in my head for tonight. So hopefully that turns out well!

Thanks to those that continue to stop by the blog & leave encouraging words, it means a lot!

Up & At 'Em

2010-10-05T10:03:00.000-05:00

So last week, I headed back to my WW meeting on Thursday. I was definately up from the last time I was there, but that's no surprise. I'm more or less back to where I started from when I joined WW this time around, but that's OK, I'm just going to have to stick to it for crying out loud! LOL

They have a promotion going on right now where you can bring a buddy to a meeting for free, so next week I'm dragging my husband with me. We both need to lose weight, and while I know he'll do it if I do it, I need him to be invested in the program with me. So while he may not join & attend meetings like I do, I at least want him to know what it's all about and what happens when I go to my meetings. There is also an event later this month that's an open house, kind of, where successful members in the community are going to be speaking about their journey. I think that will be really inspirational & we're planning on going to that as well.

At the end of a WW meeting, they always celebrate those who have lost weight that week, whether it's a 5-pound increment or a milestone like 5 or 10% lost. There was a woman there this past week who was celebrating her 50 pound accomplishment. And I recognized her as someone that started the week after I did, back in May. I was so proud of her, she looked so happy & more importantly, proud of herself! And it was a reminder to me that if you stick with it, you see results, plain and simple. And that had I not chosen to go off plan for 3 months, that could have been me celebrating a big loss. So, I am using her as inspiration and a reminder that you can come a long way in a short time, as long as you're committed.

This week hasn't been an easy first week back on plan, considering we had dinner out Friday, a wedding Saturday, and a birthday Sunday... but I'm confident that I'll at least make some progress in the right direction when I go on Thursday!

L-I-V-E

2010-09-30T09:29:00.000-05:00

I know I'm not the only one who totally gets inspired to lose weight once a new season of The Biggest Loser comes on (sidenote--already don't like one of the girls, the wedding-planner-diva one, but anyhoo...). The contestants are inspiration, and I can usually see myself in at least one of them (except no really BIG girls on it this year, what's up with that, BL?). A lot of times their stories could be our stories. It makes us want to change... but then we don't. Or maybe we do for a little while, but we stop.

What's UP with that?!!?

This week's episode had them visiting the doc, where he tells them all the awful stuff that's going on with their bodies... diabetes, hypertension, fat surrounding their organs, clogged arteries... nasty stuff. And then he tells them what their "real" age is, which is usually WAY high up there compared to their actual age. And for most of them it's a huge eye-opener. And for me, it's probably why I haven't been to the doctor in a couple years for a physical... because I'm afraid of what they might say! I go for my annual girly-visits, and I'll go occasionally when I'm sick, but I haven't had routine lab work done in several years. Cuz I'm a big ol' scaredy cat.

The doc on BL this week asked one of the contestants "Do you want to live" and through tears, she said yes, obviouisly... "Well you're not acting like it" was his response. And it's true. So many times we talk about how we want to change, and we want to be healthy.... but we're not acting like it! I am beyond guilty of this fact as well. How many times have I stopped and started while keeping this blog (my last entry was number 300, btw)? A LOT. I say I want to change, but I sure as hell don't act like it, do I? Do you?

So it's time to act like I want to live. No more pity parties about how it's hard--obviously it's hard, but it wasn't EASY getting to the weight that I am... I had to work at that too, cuz it doesn't just happen on it's own. I deserve a long, happy, healthy life, and it's nobody's responsiblity to see that I get there but my own.

Tonight at 5:30, I face the music.

Motivation & Stuff

2010-09-23T09:42:00.000-05:00

Alright guys... no lie... I haven't been around in 3 months, and it's not cuz I've been rocking the weight loss on my own by any means. You know why and I know why... cuz I fell off that damn wagon again. If only the wagon had like a seatbelt or something...

Anyway, I could sit around and mope about the fact that I have eaten like there's no tomorrow all summer long, or I can get right down to it...

I'm feeling motivated again. Who knows for how long that will last, but I figure it's something, so I better pay attention to it & use it while it's here. I think part of it came from the premiere of the new season of The Biggest Loser that was on this week (who ISN'T motivated by that?). And the other part came from my 27th birthday that I celebrated yesterday. I've been coveting this pink bike for awhile now... and my wonderful husband made my dreams come true by getting me THIS for my birthday:

Yes, that is a pink Schwinn Cruiser AND a pink helmet!!! I was beyond excited. This is the look of excitement:

I was a little nervous at first, because I know for a fact I haven't been on a bike for at least 10 years, and maybe closer to 15 years! I also was an extremely clumsy kid on my bike & crashed and burnt a LOT. Hense the helmet.

Buuuuut, about 5 minutes after giving the bike a whirl, I was riding like the WIND! I felt like a kid again, and it felt amazing to feel the breeze in my face and just fly down the street on my wheels! I loved it! And I didn't want to get off of it!

As you can see, it was DARK outside and I was still cruising on my pink bike! Aaaand, this picture shall serve as my horrendous "before" cuz can you see that gut and that big ol' booty?! I want those things to be smaller by this time next year! So here's to motivation & taking it where you can get it... I'm gonna go back to WW this week and face the music. I've continued to pay for my monthly membership--why, I don't know... hope that I'd return, maybe? So, I just have to get myself to a meeting and get the dreaded weigh-in over with. I have a feeling I've got a longer distance to go than I ever have before... and that trend is only going to continue if I don't get on the ball and freaking DO something instead of talking about doing something!

Who's with me?!

Nothing to report

2010-06-24T09:48:00.002-05:00

I've gotten derailed recently due to things going on with my family. It's hard to make myself a priority when I'm trying to make sure everything else is alright. I will be back, no worries, we just have to get through a rough patch!

TGIF!

2010-06-18T10:56:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you guys, but this week has been DRAGGING for me! If I'm being totally honest, I very much thought about not going to my meeting last night. But, I knew that wouldnt' be the best decision, so I went, and I actually showed a small loss (surprisingly!). Down .8, which is almost a pound, which is progress. Something is better than nothing!

I'm trying to play catch-up with so many of your blogs... I have hundreds of unread items in my reader! I'm sad to hear that some of you have been having some tough times in your personal lives. I hope things get better for you soon! My family and I have also been having some struggles lately, though I won't detail them here. I've been focused on these other issues and haven't made myself a priority. I'm a "fixer". I like to make things better & solve problems for others, and when I do that, my own problems get put on the backburner. I know this is an issue I definately need to work on--to make myself a priority. And that knowing that even if I make myself a priority, it doesn't mean that others can't be a priority too.

Planning is so key to my success, so I'm making a goal to plan plan plan next week in order to get myself totally refocused. I got some really sage advice in a comment on my last entry--"instead of going to McDonald's I should just grab an apple or something". It was interesting to me that it was just assumed that because I'm obese, I must be drive-thru hopping like CRAZY! Ah, gotta love the common misconceptions about us fatties! Sense any sarcasm, ladies? :) At any rate, like I said, I'm going to make an effort to plan like crazy (and hopefully try out some new recipes) this week!

I hope you all have a great weekend! I probably won't be around much, as we've got a wedding to attend, then we've also got Father's Day stuff to do! See you next week!

Two years later

2010-06-17T10:21:00.000-05:00

On April 15, 2008 I wrote a letter to myself on here. I revisited it today, because I really need a reminder. I'm struggling. I hate that it's a month into my journey, and already I am struggling to keep my head above water. Last week was a huge gain, and if I'm being honest, this week will probably negate just about any progress I made in the last month. So, a reminder of this old letter I wrote will serve as today's entry.

Dear Old Self,

On August 22, 2007 I took a vow to leave you behind. At first it was easy. I was motivated to find the New Self, and I walked away from you pretty much without even looking back. I gave up your desire for greasy McDonald's, daily candy bars, and calorie-filled, sugar-loaded pop. New Self was winning the battle, and pounds dropped off. I think New Self lost 30 pounds in 3 months. It was a great ego boost, let me tell you. New Self was kicking Old Self's ass.

Around Thanksgiving time, Old Self, you tried to sneak your way back into my life. I tried to remain strong & remember how great New Self felt, but you were trying your hardest to be the boss in my life again. I fought back hard too though, and even though I didn't lose like I had been, I still came through the holidays weighing less than I did at the beginning of them.

The new year came, and New Self was feeling lazy and tired... you are a figher, Old Self... You were really fighting to win my life over again, and I felt exhausted from fighting you! I went through some tough times in my personal life starting in January, and New Self started to feel defeated. Why bother? New Self tried to at least hold on a little through the storm, but Old Self, you seemed to be getting stronger.

Eventually New Self gave up. New Self was tired of fighting and it was easier to just back down and let you take charge again. I thought that New Self had totally hit the road, never to be seen again. Old Self, you have been ruining my life. You have got to go. I'm not happier with you around, and I'm certainly not healthier. Sometimes we keep old friends in our lives just because they've been there for so long. They might not be the best thing for us anymore (maybe they never were), but we feel attached to them in a very strong way. Well, Old Self, you are not my friend anymore. It's time to say goodbye.
I think in August, I really just said "see ya later" to you, but this time, I have to say goodbye for good. We can't meet again in the future, not if I want to be a healthy person and have New Self in my life. We have to close this chapter. You've been a close friend, Old Self, but I can't say you've been a "good" friend. You've been there for me when others weren't, but I know New Self will eventually be stronger than you ever were. It will just take time for New Self to thrive. But the good news is that even though you returned, New Self didn't really abandon me like I thought. Somehow, New Self held on through the rough waters lately, because she wants to be my best friend now.

New Self has grown her wings. It's time to fly.

Teale

Good, Bad, Ugly

2010-06-14T09:35:00.000-05:00

The Good:
-Today I am back on track.

The Bad:
-I have not been on track for about 10 days.

The Ugly:
-I gained 4.2 pounds last week.

I don't know where my head has been! First I was PMS-ing and wanted to eat crap, then I was on my period & bloated & wanted to eat crap, and I just didn't say no! So for about 10 days, I haven't tracked, I haven't exercised, I haven't grocery shopped, I haven't done well. So while I know my 4.2 pounds is due to that, I also know that (hopefully) some of that is related to period bloat. But I know it all isn't cuz I've been eating my weight in junk lately. The good thing though, is that I went to my meeting on Thursday and faced the music.

I haven't been reading anyone's blogs, and I hope to play major catch-up today. Thanks to those of you that checked on me!

Busy week!

2010-06-09T19:58:00.002-05:00

I've been away for awhile... which usually is never a good sign. Been a rough week. Very busy, and inefficient planning on my part. WI is tomorrow... will be back then to write a real entry. In the mean time, I've got lots of catching up to do, you guys write like crazy!

Giveaway Winner!

2010-06-04T12:56:00.001-05:00

Congratulations to Brandi at La Vida Subida for winning my very first contest! She was chosen using random.org. Shoot me an email, Brandi and let me know your mailing address so I can get these out to you!

Thanks to all who participated!

Shock and Awe

2010-06-04T09:06:00.003-05:00

Well after my not so good Memorial Day weekend, I was prepared for a small gain, or at least maybe maintenance this week at weigh-in. I was resigned to the fact that I'd just have to work a little harder next week to make up for it.

So imagine my surprise when the scale was down 1.6 pounds! I was so surprised! That makes a total of 14.6, so next week I should be crossing the 15 pound mark! That's definately some great progress for 4 weeks in!

As happy as I am with my loss, a part of me wishes I'd had some kind of consequence for eating crap. That sounds weird, I know, but it's like if I ate crappy & still lost, I don't want it to get in my head that that's an acceptable thing & will always happen if I eat junk for the weekend. I just gotta keep my head in the game & stick to it!

This Sunday is the WW Walk-It challenge. I guess for a couple months they've been encouraging people to train to walk or run a 5K. I obviously haven't been doing that since I just started (nor did my old meeting tell us anything about it), but I'm going to walk 5K in my neighborhood on Sunday, just to prove that I can. Once I drop some more weight, I'm going to give the C25K program a shot. We'll see how it goes!

Oh, and there's 3 more hours to enter my first giveaway, so head on over and enter to win!

My First Giveaway! (CLOSED)

2010-06-01T15:32:00.005-05:00

Today I'm hosting my very first giveaway! My fear is that NOONE WILL ENTER! Hopefully that's not the case & this giveaway will appeal to a few of you & you'll humor me & enter:)

Today, I'll be giving away 25 Weight Watchers food coupons! See for yourself:

The winner will receive 5 sheets of coupons, totalling the following:
(5) Save $1 on any 5 WW yogurt cups
(5) Save $1 on any 1 WW cheese or cream cheese
(5) Save $0.55 on any 1 carton of WW frozen novelty products or 2 WW ice cream cups
(5) Save $0.50 on any 1 WW by Whitman's bagged chocolates
(5) Save $0.75 on any 1 Jolly Time Healthy Pop popcorn

You may enter in the following ways, leaving a separate comment for each:
1. Tell me your favorite low-calorie snack item. It doesn't have to be WW affiliated.
2. Follow my blog via Google Friend Connect (see the sidebar to follow!)
3. Subscribe to my blog via a feed reader, such as Google Reader
4. Follow me on Twitter (see sidebar)
5. Add me on Facebook (see sidebar)
6. Promote this giveaway on your blog or via your facebook & leave me a link showing me you did so!

Don't forget to leave your email address so I can contact you if you're the winner! You have until Friday, June 5 at noon (central time!) to enter. A winner will be chosen at that time & posted shortly after noon on Friday!

Good luck to everyone!

*Full disclosure: These coupons were given to me at my WW meeting. I was provided them by my leader for my personal use, and I'm choosing to gift them to one lucky reader!

The Ugly Truth

2010-06-01T08:55:00.006-05:00

The funny thing about having a blog is that you really monitor how much you disclose to your audience. So if there are things I don't want to share about myself, I don't. And if I screw up & never posted about it, none of you would ever know. But I would. So, it's confession time: this weekend was not pretty.

To start off with though, I did do some things right. I started out strong.

Friday my husband and I went out for dinner & I got shrimp kabobs with cajun lime seasoning at TGIFridays. It came with a side of broccoli. And I started off with a big salad, dressing on the side. It was a really great, healthy meal, so I didn't feel guilty when I ate the dessert that came with my meal. I had room in my plan for it that day, and so I enjoyed it. After our dinner, we had to go to a graduation party. Where they had delicious homemade bbq and fried chicken. AND CAKE. I sampled a few bites of the bbq, ate a little bit of the chicken (this was hours after dinner & I was a little hungry), then had less than 1/2 a slice of cake. It was like two bites. I went over my points for the day, but I had flex to make up for it. Overall, I thought I did OK on Friday.

Oh, a sidenote about Friday. I accidentally cut a woman off in traffic, and waved an apologetic hand in the air to let her know it wasn't intentional. This crazy broad tailgates me while honking her horn & shaking her fist, then when she's first able to, she whips past me, then cuts ME off, intentionally. I thought that was rude enough... then I change lanes because I'm turning at the next light & she continues to honk, lean out her window, and yell "FATASS" at me. Really? First of all, you can't even SEE my ASS from there, and second of all, what on earth does my fat ass have to do with my driving? I know I cut the lady off, but like I said, it was an accident. It's amazing to me that the namecalling doesn't stop when you're a kid, but that even some adults would be so rude as to scream out their window at me, just to be mean. I wish I could say that I brushed it off immediately, but her comment did kind of stick with me through the weekend & was in the back of my head the whole time.

Saturday I knew I would face some challenges as well, as I was having lunch with a friend, then we were going to see SATC2, then we were getting ice cream afterwards... at COLD STONE. Lunch I did really great on. I got soup & fruit salad and it was SO delicious. I wish I'd taken a picture of the fruit salad, it was amazing! So I was pretty proud of myself for eating at Atlanta Bread & getting something healthy! Next was the movie theater. I ate good at lunch because I knew I wanted to get a small popcorn. When I scanned the menu, I was surprised to find something listed as the "Healthy Pack". I inquired, and for only $4 I could get a little box with a bottle of water, a couple cups of popcorn, and a nutrigrain bar! I jumped on that, and it was the perfect little snack for the movies!

After the movies, it was time for ice cream. I played it safe & got a small dish of "sinless sweet cream" with sprinkles & lowfat caramel. It was tasty, and not overkill on points!

So, Saturday started out pretty strong.... but then came the cookout & margaritas... And I overindulged. One italian sausage, one cheeseburger, and four margaritas later... and I was feeling gross. It was too much & I went overboard, even though I was technically within points for the day. They weren't spent wisely.

Sunday didn't go so hot either. Our usual Sunday lunch is to get chinese. I usually do pretty well... but I didn't this time. Going overboard the night before caused an avalance for the rest of the weekend. So, I overdid it at lunch, then had ANOTHER graduation party where there was lots of tasty food, then I didn't put my foot down when my husband wanted pizza for dinner late Sunday evening. I didn't even write down my food. Bad Teale.

Monday was a full-on binge. I wanted brunch at a diner. I wanted ice cream. I wanted pizza. And I indulged. I tried to fight the urges, but ultimately, I caved. I felt sad for doing it & disappointed in myself for doing it. But then I gave myself a pep talk.

"Just because you went overboard this weekend does not mean you are going to continue going overboard. You are capable! There are always going to be holiday weekends, and sometimes you're going to splurge & give in to the temptation of junky food. As long as you get back on track tomorrow, it'll be OK. So maybe you'll gain this week, or maybe you just won't lose much... but there are going to be weeks like that! You have been going strong for 3 weeks and haven't had a single binge! This was your first holiday weekend on-plan, and you learned some things & will do better next time. This isn't the end of the world. You are capable!"

And so today? I'm plugging along & doing just fine. I've learned that having a schedule during the week really keeps me on-plan, so I need to implement a schedule on the weekends too. I need to have that structure continuing through my days off so that I don't get tempted to go the easy route for meals & get stuff that is not good for me & does not follow the plan I want to be following.

There's always going to be hurdles, but just because I didn't make it over this one successfully doesn't mean that I can't get right back up & keep plugging along. Next time I see a hurdle in the distance, I'll make a plan and stick to it. I'm reminded of a poem that I found years ago after my father went through a substance abuse recovery program. It held special meaning to him, and it does to me too. Our addictions were different--his to drugs & alcohol, mine to food--but the poem relates to each:

There Is a Hole in My Sidewalk
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit…but,
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

Which chapter do you find yourself in? This weekend, that's a chapter 3 for me. Next time, I'll do better.

*Giveaway coming later today!*

Accomplishments & Goals

2010-05-28T08:57:00.003-05:00

It's Friday, and that means it's time to evaluate how I did this week & set new goals for next week!

This week I accomplished:
-Lost 2.2 pounds! (-13 total)

-Walked 3 times, a total of 4.1 miles. Yesterday afternoon before my meeting, I thought about how I'd set the goal for myself to walk three times. And I'd only done it twice. It was 30 minutes before I had to leave for my meeting, and I really didn't want to walk. But I actually gave myself a pep talk... outloud, mind you... and said "You made a committment to walk 3 times. You have time to walk a mile with the dog. You need to follow through and do what you say you're going to do. That's how this time is going to be different. You are capable!" And you know what, I got my butt out there and walked a mile in the heat with a puppy who has no idea how to walk on a leash & pulled me the whole time, and I FELT GOOD!

-I got more fruits/veggies in this week. There's still room to improve, but I made a conscious effort to try to incorporate them more.

-Tried 4 new recipes: Veggie Alfredo, Cheeseburger Cassrole, Tuna Noodle Casserole, and Italian Wedding Soup.

-Was able to wear these every single day! My fingers had gotten too fat to wear both of them, and so I was only wearing my engagement ring (and sometimes even that wouldn't fit). But for the past 10 days or so, I've been flashing these babies daily! (Pardon the crappy cell phone picture)

This week I commit to:

-Have veggies as a side for dinner when I cook. Right now we usually are just eating a main course that has veggies included in it. I'm going to start cooking veggies as a side as well... gotta work on getting those suckers in!

-Walk 5 miles total.

-Look into how to get healthy oils. Weight watchers recommends 2 servings of healthy oils per day, and I don't get them ever, as far as I know. I need to figure out how to incorporate them (if there are any WW's out there who successfully do this, give me tips!

What did you accomplish this week? What are you committed to next week?

Italian Wedding Soup

2010-05-27T20:14:00.004-05:00

This recipe is a little different from a traditional italian wedding soup, but hey, you gotta work with what you got! It was still super tasty and I'd absolutely make this again! Another perk, this was quick AND easy! What better combo is there?!

8 cups chicken broth
1/2 pound lean ground beef
2 cups escarole (but I used kale because my store didn't have any. It was still delish)
1 diced onion
2 diced carrots
2 tbsp bread crumbs
1.5 tbsp parmesan
1.5 tsp oregano (I used italian blend)
1/2 tsp garlic powder
Salt/Pepper
(optional) Cooked Orzo (but again, my store didn't have this, so I used mini shells, 8 oz)

1. Put broth on stove to boil in a large pan. Meanwhile, chop veggies.

2. Combine meat, bread crumbs, parmesan, and remaining seasonings & mix well. Form into small meatballs (less than 1").

3. Once broth is boiling, add veggies & meatballs. Continue boiling for 15-20 minutes. Meatballs will begin to float to the surface when they're cooked.

4. While that's cooking, cook pasta in a separate pan. Add to soup just before serving.

Definately a tasty, easy soup! Yum!

My first award!

2010-05-27T15:02:00.008-05:00

I was honored to receive my very first award today, from Sarah! You should stop by and leave her some love, because she is great! Thank you so much Sarah!

So, the stipulations of receiving the award are that you must choose 7 bloggers to pass the award on to, and you must share 7 things about yourself that your readers may not know!

First thing's first, so I'll share my 7 things!

1. I am the oldest of my parents' children. I have no full siblings, but I have 7 half siblings. I was raised by my grandparents though, as an only child. I've always known 3 of my siblings, but 4 of them were adopted out of the family at a very young age, over 15 years ago. In the last 6 months 2 of them have found me & have contacted me. I've met one of them & will meet the other next month, hopefully!

2. I met my husband online. I had just gotten out of a rotten relationship and wasn't looking to date at all. I was looking for new friends in the area & have always been one to have more male friends than female friends. He was new to the area and also looking to meet people. We talked online for a week or so before meeting up at a local diner. My friends insisted it was a date, but I insisted it was a "friendship interview". A year and a half later, we were married:)

3. Growing up, I always wanted a pet rabbit. My parents would never let me have one, because they insisted they were "dirty". As soon as I had my own apartment in college, I bought a rabbit. And she was not dirty. Mollie was the best little rabbit friend EVER! She would let me cuddle her & hold her like a baby & she never bit me (though she did try to nibble on my clothes from time to time!). I got her from the humane society, and they were unsure of her age. She was only with me for about 2 years, but she was a great pet before she died! We would even play tag--she would chase after me, then I would turn around and chase her. She was a really fun pet!

4. I don't like to wear shoes & socks. In fact, I'd go so far as to say I HATE wearing socks! I do it when I have to, obviously, but I'd prefer to be barefoot or in a pair of Havaiana flip flops any day!

5. I can't straighten my arms all the way. Both of my elbows don't "lock". They are as straight as I can get them, but they're really at like a 45 degree angle. I should take a picture sometime. I've never had to go to the doctor about them or anything, and I don't have a medical diagnosis for why they are the way they are, I'm just a little different! The only thing it's inhibited me in is certain sports. When I throw a ball, I can't throw very accurately because I can't fully extend my arm, and when I bowl, I have to compensate for the fact that my ball always goes to one side!

6. My favorite place to travel has been to Oregon. I went there a couple years ago & absolutely loved it! It was so lush & people were so environmentally conscious. It was a beautiful, beautiful place! I'd never seen the Pacific Ocean before, and it was so different from the Gulf coast or the Atlantic coast! It was amazing though! One of my favorite parts was seeing seals basking in the sun on rocks in the wild. Awesome!

7. I have a lot of hobbies/interests. I love to scrapbook, crochet, cross-stitch, write, read, letterbox, you name it. One bad personality trait though is that I sometimes don't finish what I start... which results in a lot of unfinished projects that could be amazing if I'd just commit to finishing them!

There you have it! Now, without further ado, here are the 7 bloggers I am awarding the Beautiful Blogger Award to:

1. Chubby Chick over at Journeying to Lose 200 pounds. She has been a blog buddy of mine since early in my blogging days. I love to read about her journey, and can identify with having a lot to lose! Stop on by and give her some love & encouragement!

2. Julia over at JewliaGoulia is a really inspirational blogger! She's dropped an amazing amount of weight, just this year, and she's kicking butt! Go ahead and tell her how awesome she is!

3. Laura at No More Weight For Me has a great blog detailing her weight loss journey! She's also doing Weight Watchers, so I enjoy reading about her accomplishments! Tell her what a great job she's doing!

4. Smasher Girl has done an awesome job this year losing weight! Her blog is fun to read and I love learning about her life and her weight loss! Plus we both love pink... so what's not to love? Stop on by and give her some comment love!

5. Becca is point countin'! She lost over 100 pounds doing WW on her own, and she has a great blog! I'm so glad I stumbled upon it & you should head her way & stumble upon it too!

6. Lindsay over at Healthy Stride has ALSO lost over 100 pounds! I'm so lucky to read about such inspirational women! Stop by and check her out (plus she's got a giveaway going on right now!)

7. Valerie at It's Only 100 Pounds has a great blog & a great attitude! She's a great example of how sometimes we can feel like giving up, but when we're lifted up by our blog buddies, it can make all the difference in the world! Stop by and leave some love!

Even though these ladies are just a small snippet of those of you out there in blogland, I think you're ALL beautiful and you're all doing great! Keep on keepin' on!!!

Visit Lindsay Too!

2010-05-27T09:51:00.003-05:00

Lindsay is also having a giveaway today on her blog, Healty Stride! She's giving away products from Tru-Roots, including quinoa, lentils, and brown rice! Hop on by & check out her blog, as well as her amazing weight-loss story!

Go visit Tricia!

2010-05-27T09:40:00.002-05:00

Tricia over at Fight Fat Phobia is having a great giveaway! She's reached 300 followers and is giving away 300 things!!! Stop on by and check it out!

Tuna Noodle Casserole

2010-05-26T21:29:00.002-05:00

This was one was definately good & we'd have it again! Makes 8 servings with 5 points each.

8 oz. whole wheat rotini, cooked
12 oz. can white tuna, drained
1 bag frozen mixed veggies (mine had asparagus, carrots, and corn)
3 cups skim or lowfat milk
2 tbsp. flour
2 tbsp. worcestershire
1 tbsp italian seasonings (it called for dill weed, but I didn't have any)
1/2 tsp. pepper
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 c. low fat parmesan, grated

1. Add milk & flour to a small sauce pan & simmer until thickened. Stir often or it will burn!

2. Once sauce has thickened, whisk in worcestershire, italian seasonings, salt, and pepper.

3. Combine sauce, pasta, tuna, frozen veggies, and parmesan & mix well.

4. Cook in a baking dish for about 30 minutes in a 350 degree oven. Let sit 5-10 minutes before serving.

This was super creamy & very tasty. The only thing I'd add next time is maybe some garlic & a tad more salt. I definately recommend it!

Cheeseburger Casserole

2010-05-26T21:20:00.002-05:00

This wasn't my favorite thing I've ever made, but it wasn't bad. It made 6 servings, with a points value of 5 points per serving.

2 yukon gold potatoes (I couldn't find these, so I used regular old potatoes)
1 pound lean ground beef
1 carrot, chopped
1/2 onion, chopped
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1 clove minced garlic
2 oz. 2% velveeta, cut into chunks
1/4 c. fat free evaporated milk
1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
8 lowfat tortilla chips (I used baked)

1. Peel & slice potatoes & layer in the bottom of a baking dish sprayed with cooking spray. Bake for 15 minutes in a 350 degree oven, then set aside.
2. Meanwhile, chop veggies & cook in skillet with olive oil until tender. Remove and set aside.
3. Next, cook ground beef, then drain. Add veggies and mix all together. Layer on top of potatoes in baking dish.
4. Combine cheese, milk, and pepper flakes & microwave for 1 minute, or until melted & mixed completely. Drizzle over meat & potatoes.
5. Crunch up chips & sprinkle on top.
6. Cook for 25-30 minutes & serve.

Ask Me Anything!

2010-05-26T15:49:00.003-05:00

I've had a formspring account for awhile, but haven't used it in some time. I decided to link it up here (as well as my facebook & twitter accounts--check the sidebar!), so if any of you have questions to ask me, feel free to hop on over here and ask away! Also, if you're on formspring let me know so I can follow you on there! (Questions don't have to be weight-loss related, I'm open to any and all questions!)

Why I Do This Here

2010-05-26T10:35:00.003-05:00

Some of you may be readers of the blog Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit, and if you are, you know that he asked his readers to write on notecards reasons for why they're blogging and/or getting healthy. I sent one in about a week ago, and mine was finally posted! You can check out others at his blog, and send in your own if you haven't yet!

A couple recipes to come later tonight, stay posted!

Beat the Heat!

2010-05-25T10:08:00.002-05:00

Illinois weather is sometimes very strange. It seems like the past couple years, we've had two seasons: Miserably Hot or Frigid Cold. Spring & Fall have seemed to just skipped right over. For example, last Monday when my friend and I went for a walk, it was about 40 degrees and misting rain the whole time. We were troopers though and walked our 1.5 miles all bundled up in coats.

Then the weekend happened, and Mother Nature decided it was time to be hot like July & have record-breaking temperatures in mid-May. Not cool.

So this Monday during our walk, it was about 95 degrees with humidity that felt like probably 80-90%. MISERABLE. Buuuuut... we did it. Another 1.5 miles down, this time wearing as light-weight of clothes as possible! By the time we were done I was hot, miserable, sweaty, and had a headache. But, I did it.

Weekend Victories

2010-05-24T11:20:00.004-05:00

Friday:
Date night at TGIFriday's. Whom I officially really dislike because of their lack of nutritional information on their website/menu. Does anyone else really dislike this fact? They provide you with NONE, and the info I found from other websites with nutritional info were totally inconsistent, so I just had to wing it. (I did all this research before we went to the restaurant, something I highly recommend others do too! Make a plan before you go!)

They had a 3-course meal thingy going on, so for my appetizer I got a wedge salad with dressing on the side. My husband got the same, but dressing on top, and his salad was SWIMMING in the stuff. So glad I asked for it on the side. They literally brought me probably 1/3 cup of dressing. I used about 2 tbsp. For my entree, I went with the sizzling chicken, which comes with grilled onions/peppers & some cheese sizzling in there with them. It also comes with TWO grilled chicken breasts & cheesy mashed potatoes. I substitued broccoli for the potatoes & took one of the chicken breasts home. Dessert was cheesecake, but I only had half and also took the other half home.

Another dislike for the nutrition at TGIFriday's... my broccoli was cooked with no seasoning/butter, as I requested, but I did ask for a side of butter, because I wanted maybe a teaspoon to top them, with salt & pepper. They brought me out another cup that was probably 1/4 cup of LIQUID BUTTER. wtf? Gross.

Saturday:
We grocery shopped & I got some good stuff for the week (FOUR new recipes to try, stay tuned!). When we got home, I was a little bummed to find out I had forgotten to thaw chicken for that night's meal! I made the most of it though & had some veggies that I grilled up & we had
Veggie Alfredo instead of Chicken Alfredo! Good stuff!

Overall, a pretty good weekend. My husband and I go to the chinese buffet every sunday for brunch, which to some probably seems like a dumb choice. But, I save my points up for it and I eat pretty smart, considering, so I don't have a problem with it! What about you guys? How did you do this weekend?

Veggie Alfredo

2010-05-22T18:46:00.007-05:00

I had initially planned to make whole wheat rotini with Laughing Cow alfredo tonight & top it with cajun grilled chicken... but you know, best laid plans... I forgot to lay the chicken out. Soooo, I improvised (surprise, surprise, right?). We had some frozen cheese ravioli, so I thought I'd make that with the LC alfredo & sautee some onions/peppers to go with it. And it was pretty good!

I can't remember where I got the LC alfredo recipe, but there are a dozen floating around the internet. I tweaked one to my liking.

3 wedges garlic/herb Laughing Cow Light wedges
3/4 c. skim milk
2 tbsp grated parmesan
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp butter/margarine (optional--or you can use Molly McButter or spray butter)
Salt/pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients in a small sauce pan & cook til smooth. You might want to use a whisk to make it smooth faster. Simmer, stirring constantly (or it will stick/burn) until sauce thickens.

For my veggies, I just chopped 1/2 onion & 1/2 green pepper & sauteed it in some olive oil. Oh yeah, and I added garlic. Cuz I love garlic. Meanwhile, I cooked 1 slice turkey bacon in the microwave for about 1 minute, until good & crispy. Crumble that up & add to your veggies & cook for another minute or so to allow the flavors to blend. Top your pasta with sauce & veggies & you're good to go! The verdict: This was a quick, easy meal that I'd definately make again... only next time I'll remember to thaw the chicken!

*Edit* I forgot to add some nutritional info for the LC alfredo... It makes 2 servings, about 1/2 c. each, and it runs about 130 cals per serving!

Accomplishments & Goals

2010-05-21T09:45:00.003-05:00

This week I accomplished:
1. Wrote down all food! I even made room in my points budget to have a small DQ treat this week! And it was good!
2. Walked 1.5 miles. Only got one walk in this week due to weather & husband having surgery, but I upped the walk from 1 mile to 1.5. I'm walking a 5K next month & I need to make sure I'm gonna make it!
3. Tried 2 new recipes, Shepherd's Pie & Minestrone.
4. Took my vitamin every day!
5. Lost 8.8 Pounds!!!!! I couldn't believe it! My 2 pound loss last week surprised me a little, as in the past I'd always lost more my first week on WW, but I was on my period then too, which apparently caused a little bloat! So this week I played catch-up I guess! So I'm down a total of 10.8 pounds in 2 weeks. Amazing!

This week I commit to:
1. Try a new snack food option. (I don't want to get in the same "rut", eating the same things all the time... don't wanna get bored!)
2. Walk 3 times (1.5 mile each)
3. Work harder to get all fruits/veggies in every day. Some days I do really well with this and some days I only get 1 or 2 servings. Goal this week is to get my full servings in each day!

What did you accomplish this week? And what are you committing to next week?

Shepherd's Pie

2010-05-18T19:14:00.004-05:00

One of the features I like about the WW online e-tools is the ability to find recipes based on certain ingredients. I mostly use it just for tracking weight/measurements & the recipe feature, which was helpful for tonight's recipe! I knew I was going to have some extra veggies on-hand from the produce I bought for last night's Minestrone, and I hate when veggies go to waste because I didn't use them up! So, I searched and I came across a WW version of Shepherd's Pie. I've never actually eaten shepherd's pie before, so I didn't quite know what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised though, and I think we'd have this one again! I did have a bit of leakage through the potatoes when I baked it, but it didn't mess up the taste!

2 potatoes, peeled & diced

1/4 c. low fat sour cream

1 tbsp margarine

2 tbsp olive oil

Salt/Pepper

3 carrots, diced

3 stalks celery, diced

1 leek, chopped (recipe called for onion, but this is what I had on-hand!)

2 cloves garlic, chopped

1 pound lean ground beef (or turkey)

3 tbsp flour

1 tsp rosemary

1 tsp thyme

2 c. beef broth

1. Boil your potatoes until they are tender. Meanwhile, chop veggies & sautee in a skillet with olive oil until tender.

2. Once potatoes are finished, drain them and add sour cream & margarine. Beat until smooth, season with salt/pepper, and set aside.

3. Once veggies are tender, add ground beef and cook through. Once meat is cooked, add flour, rosemary, thyme, salt, & pepper, and stir well til all is coated.

4. Add beef broth to the meat/veggie mixture and simmer until sauce thickens.

5. Once sauce has thickened, pour mixture into a square or round baking dish, then spread mashed potatoes on top. Bake in a 400 degree oven until potatoes just start to brown on top, about 20-30 minutes. Let sit a couple minutes before serving, then enjoy!

Minestrone

2010-05-17T20:48:00.003-05:00

Tonight I decided to try Krissie's minestrone recipe that she posted on her food journal. I followed her recipe to a T, but mine did not turn out as beautiful, or as soup-like. Here's the veggies in the soup:

1 leek, chopped

1 diced onion

2 carrots, chopped

2 zuchini, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 head cabbage, chopped

1 can kidney beans, drained

3 cans tomatoes, undrained

It was a whooole lotta veggies! She said she added about 2 cups of water, but even with doing that and letting it cook for awhile, it was just not soup-like, and I knew that adding pasta to the mix was just going to soak up all there was left... so I added more water. I also added some seasonings because I have a picky tongue. We used a couple tablespoons of an italian blend, salt, pepper, and more garlic. It was looking nice and soupy after some extra water, so I added the pasta & let it cook until it was tender. This was my end result:

It was mostly a bowl full of veggies with a bit of pasta & a bit of soupy-ness. And after we ate our bowls & I went to put the rest away, ALL the liquid had been soaked up in the pasta! Soooo, next time I think I'd add another can of tomatoes, only maybe I'd blend them up a bit to make them more liquid, plus add additional water or broth. Overall, it was a VERY tasty meal... my husband had THIRDS he liked it so much, my version just wasn't as soupy as hers, for some reason! Head on over to her blog to get the full recipe & see what hers was like!

Weekend Victories

2010-05-17T10:45:00.003-05:00

I think my standard Monday morning post will be "Weekend Victories" because I like to reflect on what I did well to get me going for the week!

This weekend was less challenging than the last for a couple of reasons--last weekend was the Mother's Day hurrah, and I was also PMS-ing like crazy then! This weekend didn't have any special celebrations and I also didn't have the sweet/salty cravings like I did the week before.

Things I did well:

1. Ate a healthy meal for date night, followed by some mild activity (putt-putt, where I kicked my husbands butt!). I did indulge in the Skinny Bee Margarita, but at only 100 calories, it wasn't hard to fit in. My husband and I also decided to split one of their mini-desserts. It comes in a double-shot glass, and splitting it was the perfect size. We each got a couple good bites & left feeling satisfied, not stuffed!

2. We cooked dinner on Saturday night! In the past, the weekend has been kind of a free-for-all & we haven't planned much around meals, we've just gotten whatever sounded good. This weekend we planned for homemade pizza. I made whole wheat pizza dough in the breadmaker, then we divided it so we could each have our own personal sized pizzas. I used a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese on mine as the "sauce", then had mushrooms, spinach, feta, garlic, and a light sprinkle of mozzerella. It was pretty good! Next time I think I might make the Laughing Cow alfredo sauce that I've seen floating around the internet, because it was a teensy bit dry once it baked. Still, super tasty!

3. We ate out on Sunday, and I allowed it to be my one meal each week where I indulge & eat what sounds good to me, within reason. While I know we also ate out on Friday, that meal was planned out & within the points values for the day. Sundays meal allowed me to indulge a little using some of my flex points. When I made my plan, I thought in advance about how to handle eating-out situations, and I said that I'd allow myself one meal per week to indulge within reason. Because I planned this out in advance, it's really helped me in a couple of ways. 1.) I don't feel guilty for indulging one time per week, using my flex points, and 2.) It helps me not go overboard the whole DAY. Sometimes you'll indulge for one meal, then you figure "well, I screwed up the day, might as well go crazy!". I don't look at my indulgance as a screw-up, I look at it as a treat that I'm allowing myself. Since I know I get that treat once a week, I don't get discouraged or even think about going off-plan for a whole day!

4. While it didn't occur on the weekend, I also had a victory on Thursday. After I got news that my meeting was going to be closing, I felt pretty blue for the evening. I knew I had flex points that I could "blow" on junk if I wanted. But I was rational and reasonable. I told my husband "I have flex points and I really want chocolate or ice cream... but I know that I only want it because I'm sad. So I shouldn't go crazy, right?" He was proud of me for recognizing that while I could have "legally" eaten some junk, I wasn't doing it because I wanted the junk, I was doing it because I wanted to not feel sad right then. He suggested having a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich instead, so I did just that. Three points instead of maybe thirty that I would have blown at Dairy Queen. I was proud of myself!

How did you do this weekend? What were some of your victories?

Skinny Bee Margarita

2010-05-16T07:27:00.003-05:00

Anyone who's been on weight watchers knows that Applebee's is always an easy place to go & eat on-plan because they have several items on the menu that are endorsed by WW and have points values listed. Well, last week at my meeting, someone mentioned that Applebee's now has a 100-calorie margarita, and while it isn't endorsed by weight watchers, it's still low-points & would be able to be fit into anyone's plan while eating out, if they desired.

So when my husband and I were deciding on a place for date night this week, Applebee's it was! And we decided to try the margarita. I was expecting it to either be A)tiny or B)not good. And surprisingly, it was actually not super tiny (though not the size of a regular margarita), and it was really good! This is what it looks like:

My only complaint about this margarita is the price! It was $5.99 for this little thing! Maybe to some that's not bad, but considering you can get a regular margarita at most restaurants for a couple bucks less (though for many more calories!), I thought the $6 price tag was a bit high! So while I did enjoy this little treat, I probably wouldn't be getting it again, unless I was dying for a little taste of margarita. Another thing that some might not like (but didn't bother me), is that it's served on the rocks, not frozen. I actually prefer my margaritas that way, but if you are a frozen margarita kinda gal, then you might not like this.

Has anyone else tried this, what did you think?

Accomplishments & Goals

2010-05-14T13:28:00.002-05:00

At the end of each week in my WW tracker, there is a space to list your accomplishments for the week & your goals for the upcoming week. I will be sharing these here with you each week!

This week I accomplished:
--Walked three times, 1 mile each (though I hurt my knee on my last walk & have been in pain for several days!)
--Tracked my food every day
--Tried three new dishes, from scratch, with no recipe!
--Stuck to my plan!
--Lost 2 pounds

This week I commit to:
--Take my vitamin every day (I wasn't consistent last week!)
--Keep up with my exercise
--Don't feel discouraged about hurdles
--Keep logging all food

On a similar sidenote, one of my goals has been to give up pop. Last week I had just a couple of sips of diet pop, and to be honest, I didn't really miss it. Today I got Subway for lunch & the only fountain option they had that wasn't pop was powerade, which I don't like. So, I opted for Diet Coke. I got it and took one sip and almost spit it out! It was so syrupy & sweet to me! Isn't that odd that after just one week of going without, the stuff that I used to drink daily I can no longer really stand! It didn't taste good to me at all & I only had maybe 2 ounces of the whole big cup full, just to wash down my food. It was a pretty neat little victory!

What did you accomplish this week? What are your goals for the coming week?

A loss and a hurdle.

2010-05-13T19:38:00.002-05:00

The good news: I saw a loss this week at WW. For my first week on the program, I honestly expected more (because in the past when I've done WW I've dropped more my first week), but a loss is a loss, and I'm trying not to hope for more. So, my loss was 2 pounds even. Two less pounds my knees have to carry around!

The bad news: I was informed tonight at my WW meeting, week TWO, mind you, that they are closing down the meeting due to low attendance. This is the only meeting held in my town, and the nearest other meeting is about 35 minutes away from home. I was devastated. It took me so much courage to actually start and take the first step, and now it's being pulled out from under me. I realize this isn't the end of the world, and that as part of my plan I made a committement to locate another meeting if I was unable to go to my own. I just didn't realize it would be permanently, nor did I realize it would be so soon! I could really use some encouraging words about this, cuz I'm feeling really upset about it. Probably moreso than I should be... I mean, I actually shed a few tears over it! I'm just bummed that I found a small, intimate meeting, and now I feel like I'm being abandoned.

Teale's Taco Soup

2010-05-12T18:10:00.003-05:00

I've made a couple different mexican-themed soups before, including one for Chicken Tortilla Soup that I posted on here. Tonight though, I decided to improvise (must be the theme this week!), and this one did not disappoint! I'm not gonna lie... I had two generous helpings, and enjoyed every bit! This made 8 (1.5 cup) servings & came to about 5 points a serving.

1 pound lean ground beef

4 cups chicken broth

2 cans Rotel (I did one mild & one original flavor)

2 cans black beans

1/2 large onion, diced

1 bag frozen corn

2 tsp cumin

2 tsp chili powder

2 tsp minced garlic

salt/pepper

1. In a crockpot, combine all ingredients except ground beef & cook on high for 4-5 hours

2. Right before serving, brown ground beef & drain. Season with additional chili powder/garlic powder/cumin/salt/pepper to taste. Add to soup. (You could have done this in the beginning, but I didn't have time when prepping the soup to also brown the meat!)

3. Serve alone or with a sprinkling of shredded cheese!

This was so good & so flavorful, we'll definately be having this again! That's three for three this week!

Chicken Salad Wraps

2010-05-11T19:06:00.003-05:00

I picked up some Flat Out wraps this week at the grocery store (only 1 point!) & decided to concoct some kind of delicious wrap for one night's dinner this week. I totally improvised this, but was very happy with the end result!

12 oz boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cooked & diced
1/2 c. onion, minced
1/2 c. green pepper, minced
1 c. carrots, finely chopped
1/4 c. black beans
1/4 c. frozen corn, thawed
1/2 c. miracle whip (or low fat/fat free mayo
Tony Chachere's cajun seasoning to taste
1 leaf of romaine
1 wrap

It doesn't get much easier than this... cook your chicken (I like to boil it & chop it up, easiest for me!), slice & dice your veggies, toss everything in a bowl, and mix! Next I found a good, leafy piece of romaine, layed it on my wrap, topped with chicken salad, and rolled it right up! It was delicious, moist, and SO flavorful! Definately would do this again! Oh, and they came to a total of 7 points!

Shrimp Primavera

2010-05-10T18:16:00.003-05:00

I was in the mood for some kind of shrimp pasta, but all the recipes I was finding either didn't quite sound like what I wanted, or else they were far too complicated to cook quickly. So, I improvised and made up my own recipe!

1/2 box thin spaghetti (wheat pasta would be healthier, but I used what I had, which was just regular spaghetti!)

1 pound shrimp, deveined & peeled

1/2 c. onion

1 can petite diced onions w/garlic & olive oil

1 tbsp olive oil

1/2 c. parmesan cheese

Salt/Pepper to taste

1. Cook pasta as directed.

2. Cook onions in olive oil in a skillet.

3. Once browned, add shrimp & cook through (I used pre-cooked, frozen shrimp, so I just had to heat them through!)

4. Add can of tomatoes & simmer for about 10 minutes

5. Add parmesan cheese to the mixture at the very end & stir well to make a creamy tomato sauce.

6. Toss with pasta & serve!

This makes 4 servings with a WW points value of about 7.5 (depends on the exact ingredients you use, that's what I came up with for mine!). It was super good & even the husband said he'd definately have it again!

Weekend Victories

2010-05-10T08:59:00.002-05:00

During the week I've always had an easier time sticking to a healthy plan because there's a specific structure to my day. Every day has the same schedule, so it's easier to stick to my plan, given that schedule. The weekends are usually where I struggle. The nice thing with Weight Watchers is that you have 35 flex points in addition to your daily points, so that if somethign comes up & you want something special that "costs" more, you can do that. This weekend I faced my first date night on plan (a weekly tradition for my husband and I), my first cookout, and celebrating mother's day with 3 moms. Normally all of these would be a reason to eat as much of whatever was being served. But I'm happy to report these victories for the weekend:

1. Date night--We planned ahead when going to the steakhouse & I researched points for foods there. I made a plan ahead of time about what I was going to eat, and I stuck with it. I got salmon, broccoli, and a salad. We shared a small appetizer, but I budgeted for that & didn't go overboard.

2. Date night--We then went to the movies. The usual movie far would be an extra large pop and a huge bucket of popcorn, slathered in butter. This time I brought a package of sugar free hard candy, the husband got a diet pop, and I got a bottle of water. That was a huge victory, because I love my movie popcorn. But I resisted.

3. Cookout--A big chance to go overboard here, given there were hamburgers, hot dogs, italian sausage, pasta salad, potato salad, taco salad, chips, cookies, and pop. I sampled a lot of what was there, but I didn't go overboard. I also budgeted my points accordingly and used a few flex to round out the day. It wasn't the healthiest food in the world, but I didn't splurge and over-do it. And I didn't graze, which happens so often at cookouts! Once everyone was done eating, we put the food away and it solved that problem!

4. Mother's Day--Breakfast was the first hurdle. We were going to my mother-in-law's for a breakfast of french toast and bacon. Nothing too healthy about that option. I ate 2 slices of each, and tried to limit the syrup I used. I didn't have any other option in this case, so I just was careful with the rest of my day.

5. Mother's Day--Lunch was the second hurdle. My mom wanted fried chicken. Not the healthiest thing in the world, huh? I had a thigh & removed the skin. Also had a small amount of leftover sides from the cookout. Drank lots of water. Didn't feel deprived, just didn't overdo it. Good!

6. Mother's Day--Dinner was the last hurdle. I'd been dying for some chinese and we were headed to the buffet. Usually a disaster if you're trying to eat healthy. Once again, I made a plan before we went. I knew that I usually ate a lot of crab at this place. Crab by itself isn't so bad actually! But it's the butter that gets you. I looked at my points left for the day & my flex & decided that I would allow myself some crab with butter. I also would have a cup of soup (low in points), some shrimp, and one scoop of chicken & broccoli. I'd skip the rice since I was going with the points for the butter. I left feeling satisfied & I didn't deny myself a treat that I really wanted.

Overall, this weekend was filled with a lot of temptations. The weekend is harder for me to stay with my healthy eating schedule anyway, then throw a holiday in there, and without a plan, I might have been destined for disaster. But I wasn't. I made a plan and stuck with it. And I'm proud of myself.

What were your weekend victories? If you write about it, link to it in the comments!

Mindful or Mindless?

2010-05-07T10:57:00.004-05:00

One thing that I'm really trying to pay attention to is to mindfully eat foods, rather than midLESSly eat them.

How many of us have sat down at our computers and munched snack foods? And then 20 minutes later, half the bag of chips is gone & you have no idea where it went. Mindless.

Or what about dinner... My family is guilty of eating in front of the television every single night. Next thing you know, your plate is cleaned & you have no idea where that mountain of food went. Mindless.

Anybody ever come home from school or work & immediately open the fridge scanning for a snack? It's not that we're really hungry, but it's just *what you do* (I blame this habit on the after school snacks my mom made every day for 12 years of schooling!). Mindless.

So how do we move from the mindless eating to actually being mindful about what we put in our mouths? The answer is simple, but so many of us probably don't do it. Pay attention & listen to your body! So many times have I had a snack just because the food was there. Was I really hungry? No, but I ate it anyway, *just because*.

One thing that Weight Watchers has added since I followed the plan last is a little scale at the bottom of your daily logs that allows you to monitor how hungry/satisfied/full you are, throughout the day. This is a great tool to have! Of course WW has always emphasized to pay attention to your "comfort zone" and try to stay in the middle--not starving, but not FULL... just no longer hungry--satisfied. And I heard about that comfort zone for months... but did I really pay attention to it in the past? Nope. I just ate my points & that was that. Having this simple little tool to fill out throughout the day is so helpful! Not only does it make me aware and make me LISTEN to my body, but it also teaches me what foods keep me satisfied for longer and what foods don't.

For example, this morning, I got up & felt slightly hungry. I noted this on my graph at 7am, decided to hop in the shower then eat. Had a couple scrambled eggs & some yogurt & felt satisfied. Not full, but not hungry. Satisfied. Noted this on my chart. I drank half coffee/half milk (the only way I can get my milk in, cuz I dislike milk!), then I packed some multigrain cheerios to have as a snack later. At about 10, my tummy started growling. I was getting hungry. I could have just dug into the cheerios right then, but I decided to have a fruity (WW hard candy) & a glass of water to see if that would trick my body. Sometimes this will work--those are the times I know I"m not "really" hungry, but I'm just wanting to mindLESSly eat. This time though, the hard candy & water didn't bump me up, so I knew my body really did need some fuel. Ate my cheerios & I'm feeling better. It'll tide me over to lunchtime. And at lunchtime, I'll reevaluate my hunger & only eat til satisfied. The key is listening to my body & recognizing when enough is enough!

How have you tackled mindless eating? Have you made any rules for yourself, like no eating in front of the TV, etc? If you haven't tackled it yet, what are you going to do TODAY that will lead you down the direction of mindful eating?

Tonight's the night

2010-05-06T15:57:00.002-05:00

I go to my first Weight Watchers meeting tonight. I'm trying to think of this as the beginning. Not think about every other time I've done weight watchers & how I've heard some of this stuff before. It's all new. I'm going to hear it tonight for the first time, absorb as much as possible.

I'm very nervous, but it's a good nervous. I'm scared about seeing what the number really says, scared about seeing people I know, scared of being the new girl. But those fears are nothing compared to the fears if I DON'T do this--the fear of never conceiving children because of my weight, the fear of not living a long, full life because of my weight, the fear of developing illnesses related to my weight. Those fears are so much greater & are what's going to push me to the meeting tonight. My little fears about the meeting are nothing compared to the big picture.

So, in a couple hours, I'll face the scale, face the meeting, face the changes. I can do this.

The Plan

2010-05-04T19:50:00.002-05:00

1. Attend weekly Weight Watchers meeting, no matter what. If I have a conflict with the Monticello meeting, I will attend a Champaign meeting on another day. (First meeting this Thursday)

2. Write down everything I eat, even if I slip up & eat something that's not on-plan. Journal it all.
3. Have one planned meal out each week (date night with the husband), where I eat whatever on the menu that sounds good (not saying go overboard, but eat an entree that appeals to me). If an unexpected meal out occurs, that meal will be as healthy as possible, given the menu of the restaurant.

4. Walk at least 10 minutes, 3 times per week. Revise this as weight comes off.

5. Take progress pictures from the front & side every 10-pound milestone.

6. Read other blogs and provide support to others in the same boat.

7. Write at least once weekly in Teale's Meals to update on progress, emotions surrounding lifestyle change, struggles, victories, etc.

8. Eliminate pop. Right now I drink maybe 1 diet pop per day, but I'd like to eliminate that altogether.

9. Take measurements once per month as another way to monitor progress.

10. Don't give up.

Sweet Surrender

2010-05-03T09:17:00.002-05:00

My life has to change. I am a mess that is out of control with my weight. Changing gets put off again and again. The fear of failure is always at the forefront of my mind. But this is failure. This doing nothing. Trying to change is the farthest thing from failing. This apathy that I have sunken into though, that is failure.

I've gained so much weight that very few of my clothes fit. I'm uncomfortable all the time. I'm in pain in my knees, back, hips. My wedding rings are too tight. I don't like what I see in the mirror & I can't imagine why my husband would want to see what is under these too-tight clothes. My self-esteem is at rock bottom. I can't get life insurance. I'm miserable and I feel sad because of what I've done to myself.

The same question just keeps flashing in my head like a neon light. "What makes this time different?" I keep racking my brain, wondering what it is that always makes me quit focusing on living a healthy life when I'm seeing success. I've lost 40-50 pounds several times in my life... the same 40-50 pounds. So I am capable... but then there's something that throws me off. And I don't know what it is. Do I feel like I don't deserve to be healthy, deep down? Do I feel like I'm losing part of my identity when I lose weight. I don't know. I genuinely don't know what it is that makes me stop trying & leads me to where I'm at now.

It's time to make a plan. Time to quit talking about how I need to change & just get on with it already. I'm going to be forumlating a detailed plan for what I'm going to do & how I'm going to make this time be the difference. I need a contingency plan for when I start to get derailed. A go-to to get me back on track if need-be. I've got to do this. It's not a question of just wanting to, I need to. I'm pretty positive that I'm going to go back to Weight Watchers. I've had success with it in the past, much more success than when I try to do it on my own. Yes, eventually I started gaining weight back, but that wasn't the program's fault, it was my own. I've been away from the program for a couple years, and I think that it may be what I need to become refocused. I hate that I have so much more to lose than I've ever had to before. I hate that I've done this to myself. But only I can change this, nobody else can do it for me.

In her shoes

2010-04-22T17:14:00.003-05:00

My fellow blog buddy, Chubby Chick is fighting the same battle I am... we both know we need to lose weight... we know HOW to lose weight... but we just can't seem to do it and stick with it. She wrote a post today that I literally could have written every word of. Please stop by and check it out & give her some words of encouragement!

Easy Enchiladas

2010-04-14T18:48:00.003-05:00

I made these chicken enchiladas tonight, adapted a tiny bit from a recipe I found in the April/May Taste of Home cooking magazine. I would for sure have these again, they were easy & delicious! Below is the recipe, with my adaptations in italics.

2 cups cubed cooked chicken

1 8oz. package of cream cheese, softened (I used low-fat)

8 flour tortillas (8 inch) (I ended up using all 10 that were in a package)

1 cup (8 oz) plain yogurt or sour cream (I used light sour cream)

1 cup salsa

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

1 can sliced black olives, drained (I omitted these cuz we don't like them!)

1 small can diced chiles, drained

1/4 cup onions, chopped

1. In a small bowl, combine chicken & cream cheese (I also added my chiles and onion here)

2. Spoon about 1/4 cup chicken mixture down the center of each tortilla & roll up tightly.

3. Place seam side down in a greased 13x9 baking dish.

4. In a small bowl, combine yogurt/sour cream and salsa. Spread over tortillas.

5. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

6. Sprinkle with cheese (and olives if you use them) & bake 10-15 minutes longer, or until cheese is melted.

7. Serve with chopped lettuce & tomatoes, if desired

(sorry for the poor quality pictures... I can't find my camera cord, so my only resource is the crappy cell phone camera on my phone!)

Meatball Sub Casserole

2010-04-13T18:36:00.004-05:00

We tried this new recipe tonight, found in the April/May edition of the Taste of Home cooking magazine. When I saw this, I knew we had to try it--I love meatball subs, but they are SO messy and I always end up with a stain on my shirt! This one turned out pretty well, and I think it's safe to say that we'll be having this one again!

1/3 c. chopped green onions

1/4 c. seasoned bread crumbs

3 tbsp. grated parmesan cheese

1 lb. ground beef

1 loaf (1 lb.) italian bread, cut into 1" slices

1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, softened (I used low fat)

1/2 c. mayo (I used Miracle Whip)

1 tsp. italian seasoning

1/4 tsp. pepper

2 c. shredded mozzerella, divided

1 jar (28 oz.) spaghetti sauce

1 c. water

2 cloves garlic, minced

1. In a bowl, combine the onions, crumbs, and parmesan. Add the beef & mix well. Shape into 1" balls & place on a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes, or until no longer pink. (I cooked these the night before & refrigerated them so that it would be less prep when making dinner. You could also just buy pre-cooked meatballs if you'd rather!)

2. Meanwhile, arrange bread in a single layer in an ungreased 13x9 baking dish (all of the bread might not be used--mine wasn't)

3. Combine the cream cheese, mayo, italian seasoning, and pepper. Spread over the bread. Sprinkle with 1/2 c. mozzarella.

4. Combine the sauce, water, and garlic. Add the meatballs. Pour over cheese mixture. Sprinkle with remaining mozzarella. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 30 minutes, or until heated through.

Grilled to perfection!

2010-04-13T18:31:00.002-05:00

I love nice weather because we can grill out! We used to just do the standard burgers or brats, but this year we've been experimenting with some other grilled foods. I tried the potato packets for the first time last week & we had them again last night, along with some delicious BBQ porkchops! That paired with some steamed broccoli, and it was a super satisfying supper:)

2010-04-09T14:15:00.002-05:00

Stole this from Fat Bridesmaid, why not do your own & leave the link in my comments!

If I were a month I’d be September.

If I were a day I’d be Saturday.

If I were a time of day I’d be 4:30PM.

If I were a font I’d be Georgia. (me too, FB!)

If I were a sea animal I’d be a starfish.

If I were a direction I’d be South.

If I were a piece of furniture I’d be a big cushy chair with a footstool. Perfect for reading a book and/or napping.

If I were a liquid I’d be fruit punch crystal lite.

If I were a gemstone I’d be Sapphire.

If I were a tree I’d be a magnolia.

If I were a tool I’d be a hammer.

If I were a flower I’d be a daisy.

If I were an element of weather I’d be a raindrop.

If I were a musical instrument I’d be a piano.

If I were a color I’d be pink. (not TEAL!)

If I were an emotion I’d be giddiness.

If I were a fruit I’d be a banana.

If I were a sound I’d be laughter.

If I were an element I’d be Einsteinium.

If I were a car I’d be a Honda civic.

If I were a food I’d be a chunk of cheese.

If I were a place I’d be the beach.

If I were a material I’d be cotton.

If I were a taste I’d be sweet.

If I were a scent I’d be fruity.

If I were a body part I’d be the earlobe.

If I were a song I’d be sung by Norah Jones.

If I were a bird I’d be a hummingbird.

If I were a gift I’d be handmade.

If I were a city I’d be Chicago.

If I were a door I’d be covered in windows.

If I were a pair of shoes I’d be flip flops.

If I were a poem I’d be from The Prophet--On Friendship:

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay".
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know the flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed

Grilled Packet Potatoes

2010-04-08T19:58:00.004-05:00

I love nice weather because it means cooking on the grill! And cooking on the grill means that my husband cooks--even better! I've been wanting to do grilled veggies in packets for awhile now, and I finally got around to it today! I googled different recipes for "packet grill veggies" or "packet potatoes" and went off of those to make my own. They were delicious & cooked perfectly. We're definately having this again!

4 or 5 small/medium potatoes, peeled & sliced 1/4" thick

1 medium green pepper, sliced

1 small onion, chopped

2 tbsp olive oil

2 tbsp melted butter

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp onion powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

1. Chop all your veggies & add all ingredients to a big bowl. Stir until veggies are coated with seasonings

2. Pull out 4 good sized sheets of tin foil & double each over, length-wise.

3. Spray the centers with cooking spray to prevent veggies from sticking.

4. Spread veggies in the center, dividing between the 4 packets, making veggies as flat as possible & leaving about an inch on either end ("left & right" sides).

5. Bring the "top & bottom" of your foil together and fold over a couple times, making a seam above your veggies.

6. Then roll up the ends and create a tight seal so they will steam properly.

7. Cook on the grill over medium-high heat for 20-25 minutes, then remove.

You can either serve them in their packets, or you can open them all & put in a serving dish. Just be careful when you open them so the steam doesn't get you! They were delicious, and we'd definatly have them again! (a side note, they aren't greasy in this picture, they're just incredibly moist from being steamed!)

Special Present

2010-04-07T14:28:00.003-05:00

One thing you should know about my husband--he's exceptionally thoughtful, but I wouldn't consider him crafty/creative by any means. He's a gift-giver, but he enjoys going out and selecting something that I'd like, while I am one to create something I think he'll love & give as a gift. So when he told me he was working on a "secret project" for me, I was stumped. Was he building me something? I couldn't figure out for the life of me what it could be. He worked for a couple hours out in the garage today & woke me from a nap to ask if I had any black construction paper. I thought what.the.heck??? I was wondering, is this going to be a gift that is going to be really thoughtful, but kind of elementary? I mean, come on, construction paper? What would have you thought? I didn't have construction paper, but I had a black sheet of foam for crafting. He said that would work. What the heck?

So imagine my surprise and delight when he came in and presented me with this:

It's a beautiful glass etching with my name & my favorite flower on it! It's for my desk at work! I may have him spray paint the wooden frame black or silver, but we'll see. I love it, and I can't believe that he created this! He got a new dremel & the instructions had several project pages, including a project for etched glass. This was his first try at it, and I think he did great. Especially considering his handwriting looks like a 2nd graders, I'm amazed at how well he did with the curves & stuff. His mom even likes it so much that SHE wants one!

What a thoughtful, sweet gift! Has your significant other ever created something for you that totally blew you away?

Spring Cleaning

2010-03-31T13:34:00.004-05:00

The beautiful weather is here, well, here in central IL anyway! I'm hoping that will be motivation to spend some more time outdoors and become more active. This weekend I'm hoping to get in some walks with the dog, some possible gardening, and maybe a little letterboxing. I'd also like to tidy up our house and get things in order. It's hard to focus on eating healthy & weight loss when your household is kind of chaotic. For me, when one thing goes, everything goes!

I haven't posted any recipes in awhile. We've just been having some old stand-bys, not trying anything new lately, but as soon as we do, there will be posts! I'm thinking of trying a stuffed chicken using Laughing Cow cheese & spinach. If you've never tried Laughing Cow, you definately should! It's the consistency of cream cheese, and it comes in several flavors, and one little wedge is super low in calories! I want to say less than 100 cals in a wedge! It makes a good topping for crackers, to dip veggies in, to stuff chicken breasts with, and I've even heard of some people using it as like an alfredo on pasta! But I haven't tried that one yet.

A few blogs I've been reading lately have been talking about doing the C25K program (Couch to 5K). A couple years ago, I did a couple weeks of the program, but stopped due to a foot injury. I was walking a lot back then though and feel like my level of activity was better equipped to start such a project. I know I'd "like" to start the program, but I don't know that at this point I'd be physically able. Maybe a goal of walking 3x a week to start off with would be better. We'll see.

Is anyone else finding themselves spending more time outdoors since spring is finally here? What's your favorite thing to do outside?

Mexican Chicken Chowder

2010-03-24T20:00:00.004-05:00

Got this one from the BH&G diabetic cookbook. Don't have nutrition info right now, but have the recipe! This one was pretty good. I don't know that I'd make it a TON, but it was tasty & flavorful, and I'd have it again. Also wasn't too difficult to make, so easy peasy!

8 oz chicken breast, cooked & diced

1 c. chicken broth

16 oz frozen corn, thawed

4 oz can chiles

1 clove minced garlic

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

1 c. diced tomatoes

2 c. skim milk

1 c. monterray jack shredded cheese

1. In a blender, puree half the corn & the chicken broth until mostly smooth, then add to a large sauce pan.

2. Add remaining corn, garlic, chiles, salt, and pepper & bring to a boil. Simmer, uncovered for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

3. Slowly mix in milk while stirring, then add tomatoes & chicken & cook til heated through.

4. Right before serving, add cheese & stir until melted

Tasty, creamy soup for a cool spring day!

Easy Crockpot Pot Roast

2010-03-24T14:18:00.002-05:00

**This recipe is not low in sodium. Keep that in mind if you make it & you're watching your salt intake!**

Growing up, I never liked pot roast, but as an adult, it's something that I really enjoy having once in awhile. On nights I have to work late, the last thing I want to do when I come home is cook, so I try to have a crockpot meal waiting. This week I went with a super easy pot roast.

2-3 pound beef roast (arm, chuck, etc. Whatever cut you like)
16 oz bag of baby carrots
1 large onion, cut in chunks
6 potatoes, peeled & chunked
2 packets (1 box) of Lipton's Onion Soup mix
1 family sized can Cream of Mushroom soup (98%FF kind)
About a cup of water

I start with my roast in the very bottom. Next is potatoes, then onions, then carrots on top. Sprinkle on the dry soup mix, then top with the cream of mushroom. Add your water, cover, and cook all day! I cooked for about 8 hours on low heat, but you could cook on high heat for a shorter period if you needed to.

The veggies were cooked perfectly, not too mushy like can sometimes happen! Throughout the day, I had my husband stir it every couple of hours to make sure the soup & water was mixing well & that nothing was sticking. And it turned out perfectly! Yum!

Trying a new recipe tonight, should be posted late tonight or early tomorrow... Mexican chicken chowder!

Another oldie--italian beef

2010-03-16T18:42:00.002-05:00

No picture today... I was so hungry I didn't take the time to do that! This is a recipe I've posted before, but this time I added half a chopped onion & half a green bell pepper. Check it out, it was delicious! Served on a wheat bun with a slice of provolone... perfection!

Deliciousness

Chicken Tortilla Soup

2010-03-15T20:22:00.003-05:00

This soup originally appeared on my blog over two years ago! It was one of the first recipes I posted, when I was doing WW & I gave it an A+. It was good then, and it was good now! This cooked all day while I was at work and was perfect by 5pm. See the original post here.

Tex Mex Sloppy Joes

2010-03-14T20:35:00.003-05:00

I will just preface this by saying: This is hands down, one of the best things I've ever made! I loved it, and the husband said he wouldn't mind having it weekly! It was pretty easy, and oh so tasty! So without further ado... Tex Mex Sloppy Joes!

1 pound lean ground beef (or turkey, chicken, etc)
1/2 large onion
1/2 large green pepper
2 tbsp canned green chiles
2/3 c. frozen corn
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp minced garlic
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp cumin
3/4 c. ketchup
4 tsp worchestershire sauce

1. Heat olive oil in a large skillet & add onion, bell pepper, chiles, garlic, and corn. Cook 5-6 minutes, until veggies are tender.
2. Add ground beef, chili powder, and cumin & cook 5-10 more minutes, until meat is cooked through.
3. Add ketchup & worchestershire and heat through.
4. Serve on wheat rolls (I like "healthy life" buns). Makes 6 (large) sandwiches

Broccoli Chicken Penne

2010-03-12T07:29:00.003-06:00

I took a recipe from the BH&G cookbook & modified it a bit to suit our tastes, so the recipe you'll see is the recipe with my twist. I would also make some changes next time, like maybe using a bag of stir fry veggies instead of broccoli, just to add some different flavors.

1 pound boneless skinless chicken, diced
3 cups broccoli (fresh or frozen)
8 oz cooked penne pasta
Southwest seasoning to taste (1-2 tbsp)
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp minced garlic
1/4 c. chicken broth
1/4 c. light mayo or miracle whip
Grated parmesan, to taste
Black pepper, to taste

1. In a skillet, heat olive oil. Add chicken, southwest seasoning, and garlic. Cook several minutes until chicken is cooked through.

2. Meanwhile, cook penne.

3. Once chicken is cooked, add broccoli and chicken broth to the skillet & cover, cooking about 5 minutes, or until broccoli is tender.

4. Add chicken & broccoli mixture to pasta & stir in mayo or miracle whip & pepper until all contents are lightly coated, then top with parmesan.

A note about the miracle whip/mayo. I was skeptical... it sounded gross. But really it's so little compared to the big pot of food, you don't taste it, it just gives it a more moist texture. I also added a little onion powder & seasoned salt to my individual bowl, to suit my tastes. Made a huge pot--6 servings.

One day at a time

2010-03-11T18:04:00.003-06:00

Confession: I am one to get easily overwhelmed with the "big picture" and just let things go. It's true of my housekeeping abilities, my organizational skills, and myself. Of course everyone's heard of the Alcoholics Anonymous saying "One day at a time", and really, it's true. Instead of looking at the big picture (I have to stay sober my WHOLE LIFE) they look at one small snippet (I have to stay sober THIS DAY, or THIS HOUR, or THIS MINUTE). Yet knowing that doesn't make daunting tasks any easier. Knowing that I need to tackle my big obstacles one tiny bit at a time doesn't give me the extra push I need to actually DO one of those tiny tasks... and I don't know why.

I need to work on the baby steps to getting things done. I need to worry about organizing one room at a time (or even one SHELF at a time) in my house, rather than the huge task of organizing my whole house. And I need to worry about one POUND at a time when it comes to weight loss, instead of seeing that I need to lose the equivalent to another human being. But how to do that becomes the big question... obviously if I knew how (and stuck to it), I'd be there by now. I know that organizing the chaos that is my life isn't a destination... that it's an on-going routine of the same struggles. Once I get things in order, or clean my house, or lose my weight, the battle isn't over. It's really only just begun.

So, as they say... one day at a time.

GM Giveaway

2010-03-10T12:47:00.002-06:00

Who doesn't love free stuff?! Head on over to My Good Cents for a chance to win a prize pack from General Mills. You'll receive 2 coupons for free cereal, plus a tote bag, cereal mug, and breakfast chiller (whatever that is!). Good luck!

Pork Stir Fry

2010-03-09T18:30:00.004-06:00

An old standby, stir fry is one of my favorite meals! You can make it totally different depending on what you toss in it & what kind of sauce you use. Plus it's super easy! The only item I had to purchase for this meal was the pork, as I had everything else on-hand from past shopping trips. You can tweak the recipe however you desire to fit your family's preferences!

1.5 pounds lean pork, boneless, cut up
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp black pepper
1/2 medium onion, diced
1/2 yellow pepper, diced
1/2 green pepper, diced
3 carrots, chopped
1 bag frozen stir fry veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, snap peas, mushrooms, corn, etc)
1/2 bag frozen broccoli (it's my favorite & I like lots of broc!)
Stir fry sauce found in the Asian section of the grocery store
4 servings instant white rice

1. Heat oil, soy sauce, chili powder, garlic, pepper, and pork in a skillet until pork is cooked through (about 5 minutes)
2. Add veggies and cook covered until they are tender (about 5 minutes more).
3. Meanwhile, cook your rice.
4. Once veggies are done, stir in your stir fry sauce to coat the meat & veggies, then serve over rice.

Piece of cake!

And the nice thing is that we still have half a bottle of stir fry sauce, instant rice, and frozen veggies, so we'll be having this again next week with chicken!

Sugar Free Strawberry Cheesecake Dessert

2010-03-08T20:20:00.002-06:00

No pictures for this one, but this is an old standby I used to make when I was on Weight Watchers. I modified it with sugar free items for a really healthy (and tasty) dessert! Of course the strawberries have natural sugars in them, so it's not 100% sugar free, but you get the idea. The strawberries could easily be substituted with any other fresh fruit you enjoy, and the cheesecake pudding can be subtituted with any other flavor as well!

1 small package Jello instant pudding (sugar free)--cheesecake flavored

1 cup milk

1 standard sized tub of sugar free Cool Whip

Fresh fruit--strawberries in this case

Pour pudding powdered mix into a bowl & add 1 cup milk. Whisk until the consistency is pretty thick (not pudding-like, but sticky & heavy). Fold in cool whip until pudding & cool whip are entirely mixed. Fold in fresh fruit & enjoy! Makes 4 (1 cup) servings.

I've also made this with chocolate pudding & sliced bananas in it... it's delicious!

You can make the pudding with the full 2 cups that the pudding recipe calls for, but the flavor isn't as good, in my opinion, because it's not as concentrated. It does make more dessert that way, obviously, but the consistency is a little different. To each their own, though!

Enjoy!

Chipotle Beef Burritos

2010-03-08T18:17:00.004-06:00

Another tasty meal tonight from the BH&G Diabetic Living cookbook. This one was super easy. Put it in the crockpot before work & when I came home, the house was smelling delicious and dinner was done!

1.5 pounds boneless beef round steak
14.5 oz can diced tomatoes
1/2 c. chopped onion
1-2 canned chipotle chile peppers in adobo sauce, chopped
1 tsp dried oregano
1 clove minced garlic
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cumin
Whole wheat or low fat tortillas

1. Trim fat from meat & cut into 6 pieces. Place meat, undrained tomatoes, onion, peppers, oregano, garlic, salt, and cumin in slow cooker.
2. Cover & cook on low heat for 8-10 hours or on high heat for 4-5 hours.
3. Remove meat from liquid & shred. Scoop remaining contents with a slotted spoon and add to shredded meat.
4. Spoon meat onto tortillas, top with cheese, salsa, etc and enjoy!
Makes 6 servings. Nutrition information per serving:

Calories: 224
Fat: 7g
Carbs: 15g
Fiber: 9g

I made the following changes to my recipe: used 2 regular sized cans of Rotel in place of the tomatoes/peppers & added a tsp southwest chipotle Mrs. Dash. It was excellent! The husband said he definately wanted to have it again!

Garden Style Ravioli

2010-03-07T19:32:00.004-06:00

What's this? An actual MEAL on Teale's Meals? Why yes it is!!! I tried a new recipe from a new cookbook tonight, and it was quite tasty! This is Garden Style Ravioli, found in the Better Homes & Gardens' "Our Best Diabetic Living Recipes" Here's a cell-phone quality pic of the meal from the cookbook:

9 oz. frozen/refrigerated cheese ravioli

1 tbsp olive oil

2 medium red/green/yellow/etc peppers, cut into chunks (I only used half of each pepper though & it was plenty!)

1 medium carrot, cut into long, thin strips (use a potato peeler)

1 small onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 medium tomato, chopped

1/4 cup chicken broth (I decided to use 1/2 a cup though to make it more moist)

Italian Seasonings... they reccomend Tarragon or Basil. I used 1.5 tsp "italian blend" seasonings

1. Cook ravioli according to package directions & drain.

2. Meanwhile, in a large nonstick skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add peppers, onions, garlic, and carrots & cook for about 5 minutes, til tender. Stir in tomato, broth, and seasonings and cook about 2 minutes more, until flavors blend.

3. Add veggie mixture to cooked ravioli & toss gently to combine. Makes 4 (1-cup) servings.

Since we were having this as our main dish, we had 2 (2-cup) servings. The following nutrition info is for the 1 cup servings:

Calories: 278

Fat: 9g
Carbs: 39g

Fiber: 2g

Protein: 13g

What a tasty dinner! I also added a sprinkle of grated parmesan on top. We'd definately have this one again.

Ups & Downs

2010-03-02T09:56:00.003-06:00

Overall, I'd say that my life is pretty grand. If you plotted points on a graph, the overall trend would be up. But if you connected the dots, there would be some pretty high highs, and some pretty steep dips. But like I said, overall... pretty grand.

The husband was supposed to have knee surgery last week, but pre-surgery blood work came back & he wasn't cleared for surgery. We're working that stuff out today at the doctor. It's nothing that will be the end of the world, but it's going to mean some changes on his and my part. That same day, my debit card information was stolen. The second time in 6 months that my numbers have been stolen (two different cards). The first time it wasn't so bad b/c it was a card that I didn't use. We used it on our honeymoon & it's been banished from use until the big balance is paid down. This time though, it was my check card. MY CHECK CARD. That I use probably 3+ times a day. Cash? What's that? Swipey swipe is where it's at. So needless to say, that has cramped my style a bit in the last week. Apparently in 5-10 business days I'll have a new card & new card number, but man has it been a pain in my butt.

Before the crappy stuff last week, we did take a delightful trip to Tennessee for Valentine's Day weekend. I realize that I haven't written about it on here yet, and that's mainly b/c I can't find my camera cord to post pictures to accompany the entry. But here's the short version: took 8.5 hours to get down there, we ate a lot, we spent a lot of time in the hot tub, we did touristy stuff, the Smokies were closed down due to snow so we didn't get to do much driving through them, then our trip home took 12.5 hours due to crazy winter storms ALL THE WAY HOME. But, we made it (though 50+ cars were in the ditch for about a 120 mile stretch in Indiana).

So, that's that. Not much of an update, I realize, but it had been awhile & I wanted to say that I'm still alive and kicking. And ready for Spring.

Love Sweet Love

2010-02-19T21:18:00.004-06:00

A few years ago, I found this picture of my parents, from the 1950s, when they were newlyweds:

I love seeing how happy they are in this picture & how they're laughing like they know a secret that noone else knows. When I found the picture, I remember thinking that I hope I have someone one day that I can look like that with.

A couple days ago, when looking through archived pictures on Eddie's phone, we found a picture of ourselves. It must have been one of our very first pictures together, which would have put it at about 2 years ago, as Sunday will be our 2-year "dating" anniversary (and Monday our 6 months of marriage-aversary!). I don't remember this picture being taken, nor do I ever really remember seeing it... but I love it. And it makes me think of my parents up there. It's a picture that years from now I know I'm going to look at & think "Man, we have always been so happy together!"

Wednesday Confessions

2010-02-10T11:13:00.003-06:00

1. We still have our Christmas decorations up.
2. I mooch lunch off my parents just about every weekday. They like the company. I like the free food.
3. I hate wearing socks. I'd like to live somewhere that I could wear flip-flops year-round.
4. I could eat tacos every day if you let me.
5. I love the show Teen Mom.
6. Cheese is my favorite food.
7. I almost always give whenever I see one of the Salvation Army red kettles at the holidays... even if it's just like 25 cents. I feel guilty walking into a store where I'm going to spend money on myself or others & not giving at least SOMETHING to the red kettle.
8. I get along with just about everyone, but I don't choose to be friends with many people.
9. When I was in college, without a washer/dryer in my building, I sometimes would go out and buy new clothes, rather than haul the laundry to the laundromat.
10. I have no idea what to get my husband for Valentine's Day.

Your turn.

Moving on from Meals

2010-02-09T12:49:00.002-06:00

When I started blogging here, it was a food/WW blog. And let's face it, no matter how many times I try to keep coming back & making it about the food & about the weight loss, I'm just not THERE right now.

So I've made the decision to make this blog more about my daily life. I keep a blog elsewhere on a private site, that noone in my "real" life reads (though I have met some of my blogger friends IN real life, after meeting there), but I thought maybe I'd expand my space here to give what few readers I may have a better picture of who I am, outside of weight loss.

I read a LOT of blogs. Like a couple hundred, probably. But so often, I don't comment because I really don't have anything back here at this blog that would be worthwhile for them to come see. I realize comments aren't for the sole purpose of getting more traffic, but let's face it, the more you comment, the more likely someone is to come see what you're all about! So, while my blog will remain named Teale's Meals, I'm going to expand my horizons & let you know more about TEALE and less about my MEALS.

So if there are any of you out there reading me, but perhaps you dont' comment or comment rarely, come out come out wherever you are. I'd love to add your blog to my lengthy list. Tell me how you found me, how long you've been reading, etc. Even feel free to ask any questions you may have. (I also have a formspring page for that purpose too, so feel free to ask anonymously here.)

So here's the basic lowdown about me, for those that may not know yet:
Name: Teale
Age: 26
Location: Central Illinois
Status: Married
Kids: None (yet)
Furbabies: 3 cats & a puppy
Likes: crafts, comfy PJ pants, rainy days, reading, travelling, taking pictures (for memories... my photos are nothing special!), chocolate, cheese, Counting Crows, and sleeping in.
Dislikes: crunchy vegetables (minus carrots & lettuce), Rachael Ray's annoying slang for things (ie-sammies, EVOO, etc... but like her cooking), waking up in the middle of a good dream, and The Police (the band, not the law enforcement).

So, that's that... welcome if you're new, and welcome back if you're old:)

Week One? Check!

2010-01-11T08:50:00.002-06:00

I did pretty well this week, the first of 2010. Some of my goals for the year are to eat dinner out only twice per week (did that!), breakfast out only once (check!), and to post here at least once a week (so far so good!). One week down, 51 weeks to go!

Granted, when I ate out, I splurged. Especially on date night. Hellooooo, Olive Garden! I only ate half my entree, but that's because I stuffed myself on soup & appetizer before the meal. It's OK though, because I didn't make my whole day be like that. Just one meal.

The Mister and I make it a habit to have date night once a week. We're newlyweds and we don't want to become automatic homebodies. Don't get me wrong, I like to be a homebody & stay in my PJs all day once in awhile (hello, Sunday!), but not all the time. I'd like for us to maybe start getting more creative with our date night though. It usually consists of dinner & a movie, or sometimes just dinner... but why always food? Maybe we could get away from that. We'll see.

Anyway, not too much to update on... I have plans to post an actual meal this week sometime, considering that's what this blog started out as! Sometimes I fall into the habit of cooking the same rotation of 8-10 meals & never spice it up... gotta find something new this week! Maybe a crock pot meal. Any suggestions/links to some good stuff?

And while you're suggesting things, have you read any good books lately? I'm hoping to read 50 this year, so I'm making a list of possibilities!

Happy Monday, all!

The Ugly Truth

2010-01-08T10:44:00.002-06:00

The truth is this-I am at my all-time heaviest weight... I wouldn't even know what this weight was, were it not for the scale at the doctor's office. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. You see, my scale at home measures up to an astounding 330 lbs. Which should be heavy enough to way your average 26 year old woman. But not this one. I've known that I was over the weight limit for some time now... you get a big flashing ERROR when you're over the limit & you try to weigh on it.

Thing is, they don't tell you how BIG of an error you are. Oh, but the doctor's office does.

345.6

I dreaded mid-December because that was when I had to go to the gyno for my yearly check up. I didn't dread it because I would have to derobe & sit with a sheet that barely covered my large body... I dreaded it because I knew I'd have to face the ugly truth. All 345.6 pounds of it.

So, back to day one again, right? Right. This week was the week that I attempted to make some changes. And I have made changes. Am I eating like a completely healthy person, no. But I am eating WAY better than the 345.6 pound person I had become. I've stuck with my resolution to eat breakfast out one time per week (today) and only eat out 2 other times per week, dinner with my husband. We've gone once, and we're saving the other for our weekly date night tomorow. I'm doing better. It'll take some time to get the entire healthy lifestyle back in full swing, but I am doing better.

I've been tracking my food as best as I can on fit day. It's nice because I could put in my weight, my goal weight, and how long I wanted to accomplish that in, and it tells me how many calories to cut back per day. I said I wanted to lose 50 pounds this year. That's less than a pound per week. And considering I'd have to eat about 3400 calories a day to maintain my weight (astonishing to know I was eating that much), fit day tells me I only need to cut back 400 cals per day to lose 50 pounds in one year. When you put it that way, it seems so simple! I've been doing much better than that... averaging about 1800-2200 calories. What's unfortunate though, is that due to the fact that I have a scale that calls me names when I get on it, I can't monitor my weight loss progress at this point. I know I could take measurements and evaluate progress that way, and I may, but I'm not sure at this point. My goal is to be able to use the scale by March. so that's 15 pounds to lose by then. At which time it will stop shouting ERROR, ERROR when my booty gets on it! OK it doesn't really shout, but caps=shouting!

So, that's that. And here we are.

Goals for 2010.

2010-01-04T14:32:00.002-06:00

Well, in all their glory, here is my list of goals for 2010.

1. Crochet stuffed elephant (I crochet, but have never attempted those cute little stuffed animals... this year I've picked 3 patterns I'd like to do!)
2. Crochet stuffed giraffe
3. Crochet stuffed ladybug
4. Learn to crochet socks
5. Post to my Teale's Meals blog at least once a week
6. Be able to use my scale by March (I am over the weight limit for it now, so I want to be under that limit by March)
7. Get back into the 200s by December 31, 2010
8. Cancel gym membership (haven't used it in a year, plus we moved... yes, this seems counter-productive to goals 6 & 7, but it is what it is.)
9. Volunteer at least 20 hours
10. Find 25 letterboxes (see www.atlasquest.com if you don't know what this is)
11. Read 50 books, including: Her Fearful Symmetry, 3 more Stephanie Plum books, 1 Kristin Hannah book, It Sucked & Then I Cried, 1 Chelsea Handler book, and 1 David Sedaris book
12. Only eat breakfast out once per week
13. Other meals out limited to twice per week
14. Get a cheaper cell phone plan
15. Do rennovations to our house, including: new windows, new toilet, new fixtures in the bathroom & hallway, privacy fence, sliding glass door, patch hole behind bathroom door & put a door stop in, figure out our outside lights (we have outside lights that we don't know how to control...)
16. Grow my nails out & paint them once a week (this is a big deal for me because I am a huge nail biter!)
17. Join a club of some sort (book club, crochet group, something...)
18. Learn to knit something
19. Organize and fully unpack our house
20. Meet my sister Christina (I have 4 siblings that were adopted out of the family when they were young. One of those sisters found me in December & we've been emailing. she lives about 2 hours away. I hope to meet her this year!)

So, there you have it! I'm confident that I can accomplish most, if not all, of these this year!

2009 in Review

2010-01-01T22:42:00.002-06:00

So, since I didn't really write much in here in 2009, I thought I'd do Fat Bridesmaid's 2009 survey. Plus, one of my goals for this year is to post here at least once per week, so I figure I better get started! (More on my goals in a future entry!)

Was 2009 good for you? 2009 was very good. I'm sad to see it go, but I know there are other great things in store for me. I got a new job, bought a house, got married, and got a dog. Big things this year!
What was your favorite moment of the year? Walking down the aisle and seeing Eddie's face, then saying our vows. Our wedding was as perfect for us as it could have been!
What was your worst moment of the year? Probably when my mom's health had some scary spots. She had a fall in October & had to go to the nursing home. I was worried it would be long-term, cuz at first it wasn't looking so good for her to be able to come home. But after a few weeks, she did get to come home! Within a week though, she had a diabetic scare & they thought she'd lapsed into a coma. Thankfully she was OK, and it turned out it was just a diabetic-induced seizure. Those health scares were definately not a highlight of the year!
Where were you when 2009 began? With Eddie & his family at his mom's house, drinking champagne & kissing at midnight
Who were you with? See above
Where were you when 2009 ended? At the same place, with the same people!
Did you keep your new years resolution of 2009? I don't make resolutions, I make goals. I made a list of 20 items, and I'd say I accomplished at least half of them. I think my last entry was about this, actually!
Do you have a new years resolution for 2010? I have a new list of 20 goals, and I'll write about this in the future!
Did you fall in love in 2009? Even more in love with Eddie than I thought possible. And in love with our pooch, Dora.
Did you make any new friends in 2009? New people at work
What was your favorite month of 2009? August-we got married & honeymooned!
Why this month? See above
Did you travel outside of the US in 2009? No, never have been.
How many different places did you travel to in 2009? Let's see... Indiana in February & October to go to a nice restaurant that we like; Louisiana in May to visit my sister-and I travelled through Missouri & Arkansas on the way there & visited Texas while I was down there; then Florida on our honeymoon-and technically TN, since we had a layover there while flying home... so that's 7 states in a year! Wow!
Did you miss anybody in the past year? I thought a lot about my dad. This was the 10th anniversary of his death, on 12/31, so I thought of him a lot that day. But I also thought a lot about him around our wedding, as that was a milestone I knew he wouldn't get to see.
What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2009? The Hangover & Up
What was your favorite song from 2009? The song isn't from 2009, but it was probably the most special song for us this year--our wedding song, "This Kind of Love" by Sister Hazel.
How many concerts or plays did you see in 2009? We went to 1 concert-Zac Brown Band in October.
Did you have a favorite concert in 2009? ZBB!
What was your favorite book in 2009? I just deleted my book list from the year, so I can't even remember what I read! I know I read 19 books though!
Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? Not that I can remember.
What was the biggest lie you told in 2009? I don't really make it a habit of lying... so I have no idea! LOL I told the people at TX Roadhouse on my bday that I was 21, instead of 26. LOL. That's about all I can think of!
Did you treat somebody badly in 2009? Not badly, but I could have been a more patient person.
Did somebody treat you badly in 2009? Not particularly, no.
What was your proudest moment of 2009? Purchasing our house & getting married
What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009? LOL hands down, it was when we were camping with Eddie's family. I always seem to have tummy trouble when we camp, and I could feel gas rumbling in my tummy. I was sitting straddled on a picnic bench & knew I had to fart. I tried to hold it in & could hear & feel the gurgling going on in my intestines. Eddie, his mom, and I were all sitting together talking when this was happening, and out of the blue, the gas just snuck out! And it WOULD NOT STOP. And did I mention I was on a wooden picnic table?! It was the loudest, longest, most embarrassing toot of my life! The more I tried to hold it in & get it to stop, the worse it was!
If you could go back to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be? I really don't know that I would change anything! Maybe getting our house in order after moving... we're still kind of in that in-between place where not everything is put away.
Where did you work in 2009? I started working at Carle Hospital as a Case Assistant, and I ended working at a local mental health center as a Prevention Specialist.
Favorite TV shows(s) of 2009? Biggest Loser, Paranormal State, Jon & Kate, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kendra...
Favorite Band(s) of 2009? I can't think of bands that were popular in 09 that I loved... my fave band has and always will be Counting Crows though.
Favorite Food in 2009? a local pizza place
Favorite Drink in 2009? Cherry Coke
Favorite Place in 2009? Our home, or our honeymoon location-St. Augustine, FL.
Favorite person(s) to be with in 2009? Eddie. Always.
Favorite person(s) to talk to in 2009? Ditto.
Favorite trip in 2009? Our honeymoon (though my solo trip to LA was also memorable!)
Favorite stores in 2009? Hobby Lobby
Hardest thing you had to go through in 2009? Not having my dad around for our wedding and my mom's health scares
Most exciting moment(s) in 2009? Walking down the aisle & getting the keys to our home!
Funniest moment(s) in 2009? LOL probably also the most embarrassing one from above! It's hard to pick a funniest one though, because Eddie and I always laugh so much together that we're often in tears because we've laughed so hard!

Happy 2010 everyone!

Goals for the new year

2009-12-15T12:50:00.003-06:00

I realize it's been an incredibly long amount of time since I regularly posted anything food-related here. I would be quite surprised if I was still even located in very many of your google readers!

Every year I make a list of goals that I want to accomplish. I don't like to call them resolutions because I feel like so many of us make resolutions & then don't think about them again beyond January... until it's time to make new ones. So what I do is make a list of goals, and at the end of every month, I examine them to make note of my progress. It keeps the goal fresh in my mind so I don't forget about it. Then at the end of the year, rather than focus on what I didn't accomplish, I take a look at what I did get done. For example... I did all of these things this year:
-I donated blood
-I bought a house
-I saved $1000 for our wedding reception
-I didn't buy any brand new books
-I married my best friend
-We donated to the ASPCA instead of giving wedding favors
-I completed one 5K
-I completed one scrapbook
-I donated items or money to different causes for 10 of 12 months
-I cooked at least one new item each month
-I found a new job that is a perfect fit for me
-I found 40 letterboxes
-I paid off two credit cards
-I visited a new state

WHEW!

So, it's time to start making my 2010 list... and one of those items is going to be to post here at least once per week. It may not seem like much, but it is a start. My hope is that by posting here, I will get back into the swing of things and my waistline may start to show some improvement! I try to have goals that relate to getting healthier, without actually saying "lose x amount of pounds" or something like that. So my goal of writing here should hopefully spark that healthy lifestyle back up over time.

I hope there are still some out there that haven't forgotten about me... you'll be seeing more of me in 2010, I promise!

Giving back

2009-10-29T18:22:00.004-05:00

One of my goals for this year has been to donate somewhere at least once per month. I have gotten nearly every month, with maybe 1 or 2 missing out due to the wedding planning. Places I have donated have included food for a local food bank, hygiene items for a local women's shelter, my never-been-worn wedding dress to Brides Against Breast Cancer, the ASPCA received a donation in lieu of our wedding favors, and I know there were others, but off the top of my head I can't think of them all... So for October, where was I to donate? It's nearly the end of the month, and I still hadn't donated anywhere. Then in my google reader yesterday was an entry from a local blogger. I've been reading her for just a couple months, and have never even commented on her entries until yesterday, but the post she wrote moved me and inspired me. You see, her sister recently lost her battle with cancer, and she wrote about a friend of hers who donated her hair in honor of her sister.

I donated my hair once before, to Locks of Love. They make wigs for children with cancer, and they require a 10 inch minimum donation length. I wasn't quite sure that I had 10 inches at this point, but I had been growing my hair out for our wedding, so it had gotten pretty long. The program that the blogger's friend donated to was through Pantene's Beautiful Lengths program, which donates hair to the American Cancer Society to make wigs for women (not just children like Locks of Love). And their minimum donation length is only 8 inches. And I knew I had that.

So just like that, I made my decision. I was going to donate my hair. Again. My thought is that I have been extremely blessed in my life and with my family, that cancer has never directly affected me. I have great aunts and uncles who have fought their battles, but never anyone in my immediate family. I consider myself very fortunate. And because of that, I feel like I should give back, specifically for that cause. Aside from the hair donation and wedding dress donation, I was very involved with Relay for Life for 7 years (and hope to be involved again next year). So it was a no-brainer that this hair was getting chopped. It will grow back for me, whereas there is someone out there who can't grow their hair back right now, so I wanted to help them.

The Process: In Pictures

(^getting a picture of the back of your own head is hard!)

(^all pulled back and double checking the ruler... 9 inches!)

(^SNIP SNIP!)

(^It looks like a squirrel's tail!)

(^And here I am, with 9 inches less hair!)

If you're interested in finding out more information about donating your own hair, please check out:

http://www.pantene.com/en-US/beautiful_lengths.jspx

http://locksoflove.org/