Day One.

I am considering today to be day one. The past month has been a rollercoaster, as far as WW is concerned. I have gained, lost, gained, lost, gained... I have made hardly any progress this last month, as far as my weight is concerned. I am only .4 pounds less than I was one month ago. However, the silver lining, in my mind, is that I am not any heavier. I survived the holidays, and I have a loss (although minor) to show for it. This was my first attempt at being on WW for Thanksgiving & Christmas. I know now what I can do better and what things didn't work. I am learning.

With that said, though, holidays shouldn't be an excuse to be lax about things... and I let them. I haven't recorded my food in at LEAST a month. Journaling is something that I need to do so that I am really aware of what I'm eating. A bite here, a bite there, really adds up. I need to be accountable. So, as my mom used to tell me growing up:

If at first you don't succeed, try try again.

So, that's what I'm doing.

I went to the gym last night (after a 3 pound gain at WW--putting me down 35.4 overall) for the first time in ages. I ran for 20 minutes, walked for 15. It's a start! This morning I got breakfast at work & recorded it on my online tracker, and instead of getting a diet mountain dew like I usually do, I got a water. It's noon, but I'm not really too hungry yet, so I'm not heading to lunch. I am trying to pay more attention to my body & what it tells me, rather than what I think I need.

I know a lot of people make new year's resolutions to lose weight, exercise, etc. I make a list of things I want to accomplish every year, and among the things on that list are the following:

Exercise. Even if I only exercised once per week, that would be more than I did in 2007, so that's my goal.

Wear 20s. I am currently pretty consistently in 22s in pants. I've never been in 20s (except on my way up!), so I'm not sure how much more I'd have to lose to get there... Ideally I'd like to be in 18s, but I didn't want my goal to be too lofty.

Celebrate my WW anniversary. I've never stuck to the plan for longer than about 6 months in the past. I would like to celebrate 1 year on the program this coming August.

What are your goals for 2008?

Shall we compare?

Friday night I was invited to go ice skating. I have been ice skating once in my life, and I was about 9... certainly smaller than I am these days. I was actually quite unsure if I would be physically able to sustain trips around and around the rink. It's quite a vigorous exercise! I also had no clue how I would actually WALK in the skates, as I saw skinny people struggling with their balance & trying not to roll their ankles. I thought what the hell though... I certainly wouldn't know if I could do it or not unless I tried.

I got all decked out in a cute little festive outfit and decided it was a "pretty" night, so I took a self-portrait. Seeing a picture of yourself where you think "wow, that person is pretty" is certainly a self-esteem boost! And I needed that before my adventures in ice skating.

I get my skates & go to lace them up & am reminded why I do not use my rollerblades: fat ankles/calves. I can't wear my rollerblades b/c they are too tight on my lower calf & it's very painful... I was worried that my skates would be similarly painful, but I adjusted things and we seemed to be good to go. We get out on the ice, and it was so terrifying! I was worried that the first step out there I'd fall on my booty. It took some getting used to, but I did it! I took a break from time to time... and it was a good hour before I even fell:) The first fall was no big deal... I knew I was going to fall before it even happened, and I laughed about it quite a bit. I noticed while I was out there that I was in fact the largest person on the ice... but the fact of the matter was, I was on the ice!

It was about time to go, and I was heading towards the exit from the ice... I was going at quite a pace, when suddenly my feet flew out from under me and I fell HARD on my tailbone... all 288 pounds, BAM! Pain shot down my legs & up my back & I knew that was gonna hurt in the morning! Unfortunately it's been about 48 hours & I'm still in excrutiating pain whenever I sit or move a certain way. I probably bruised my tailbone (if that's possible?) and it's gonna be sore for awhile. I don't care though. I did something I didn't think I could do!

And now for the comparison that I mentioned in my title... I wanted to post the cute picture of me from Friday night & compare it to an old picture of me... about 40 pounds heavier.

Great week!

This past week was totally back on track. I was just completely with it and on my mark. I still indulged in some holiday goodies, but I accomodated for them. My confidence was just at an all-time high. First I had my amazing dress fitting, then the very next day I saw a classmate from high school, and he commented to me that I looked really amazing & had lost a lot of weight since he'd seen me last. It's always really nice to hear that from someone that doesn't know that you're making a conscious effort. Especially someone that I didn't ever expect to mention something like that.

So when I went to my meeting last night, I expected to do well. Some weeks you're just not sure. But this week, I knew that I worked hard... but the thing is, I didn't really care what the scale had to say. I had such a great NSV week that the lower number on the scale would just be the icing on the cake, so to speak. So imagine my delight when I stepped on the scale and was down another 5.4 pounds! Not only does that totally eliminate the gain that I had 2 weeks in a row after thanksgiving (I had gained 4.8 over 2 week's time, and last week lost 2.8 of it, still leaving me 2 pounds up overall), but it also puts me in my next weight decade, the 280s!

I feel like my new job is really helping me stay focused. Not only am I on my feet walking for about half the day, but I don't have a lot of down time to mindlessly snack. I eat in our cafeteria every day, and I've successfully stayed away from the deep-fried items that you could get in the grill line. Most days I get a lunchmeat sandwich on a croissant and whatever soup of the day is. Once in awhile I'll get a snack in the afternoons, either popcorn or lowfat frozen yogurt. Then by the time I get home, it's time to start dinner, so I don't have time to just sit around & eat needlessly. Last night, I even left food on my plate b/c I wasn't hungry anymore. That's a big task for me. Usually if something tastes good, I just keep on eating it until it's gone. But not last night!

Sometimes we all have our little hurdles to get over, and sometimes we fall a time or two when we try to get across... but man, getting over those hurdles & roadblocks sure feels great after the fact!

Fantastic-ness

Today was a really big day for me, it was my first dress fitting for the wedding. That's a really special day for a girl, to get to put everything on, from shoes to veil, and see what you will look like the first time your husband sees you on your wedding day. It was very emotional, but in an incredibly good way.

Not only was seeing the whole package put together amazing, but the fact that my dress was like a pillowcase on me was also amazing. I've lost about 40 pounds since I bought my dress, but I don't see much of a difference when I look in the mirror. I just see me. I guess I just don't think about the fact that I am wearing dress pants that are 2 sizes smaller than I was about a year ago... I just see myself the same way as I always have.

But tonight, seeing myself floating around in a dress that once fit me perfectly, it was unbelievable. For the first time I felt really proud of myself about eating healthy & changing my life. I could pull the dress out in the back probably 5 inches.

And the staff at David's Bridal were AMAZING. They allowed me to exchange my dress for a size smaller! I also was able to exchange my corset/bra thing, cuz I certainly don't fill that thing out anymore. The size smaller dress was actually a little bit big, but I probably couldn't have gone down another size. In late January, I'll get it taken in, rather than do it now & then possibly
have to pay for it to be done again later.

It was a wonderful night... if I'm this excited/emotional about my stinking dress fitting, I have no idea how I'll make it down the aisle on March 22nd w/o bawling my eyes out.

On the road again...

.... the road to weight loss, that is! Cheesy, I know.

Anyway, last night was WW. I had a fairly good week. I journaled *almost* every day, which was a big step from not journaling at all in the previous 2 weeks! I didn't get to the gym, but I did start a new job in which I'm walking quite a bit each day, so that's a big change from sitting all day. My WI last night was good. In the past 2 weeks, I had gains totalling 4.8 pounds. Last night I lost 2.8, so now I'm only up 2 pounds... this is good!

This week was what they call "conversion week" at WW, which is when they get all their new materials for the coming year. So, we all got the new week 1 material to motivate/inspire us. They also have their new food guide/dining out guide, so I picked up a starter kit that has those, a 3-month journal, a recipe book, and some coupons, all in a bag. It's exciting to have new material to look at, because after I think 10 weeks, you no longer get weekly materials.

I've been on here much less since I started my new job... at my last job, I could jump on the computer whenever I wanted & read/update, but at this job, I'm not able to get onto this site at all. So, I hope everyone is doing well with their goals!

As Expected

Well, I went for my WI tonight. I knew it wouldn't be good. I've had 2 straight weeks of being mostly off-plan. Last week's gain was small, so I figured I'd pay for it eventually. I also switched from a morning WI to a night WI which does make a difference (although I reaped the benefits of the difference when I went from PM to AM!).

It was bad.

I was up 4 pounds.

The reasons I was up 4 pounds are:
--I haven't eaten healthy foods
--I haven't journaled
--I haven't been drinking my water
--I haven't exercised

You get the idea. I am taking full responsibility for my gain. And you know, considering I've gained almost 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks, and my goal is to LOSE weight, it's time to get back on that horse!

Today my eating has been much better. I could improve certain things, but it's been a great change from the past couple weeks.

Breakfast: milk & WW muffin
Snack: mini-croissant w/preserves
Lunch: chicken quesadilla w/lettuce, sour cream & guacamole
Snack: chex mix & animal crackers
Dinner: 2 tacos & WW dessert

I've had about 5 glasses of water today, big improvement from ZERO!

So now I'm sitting watching the biggest loser for some motivation & I'm about to catch up on ALL of your blogs once this is posted. I fear that some of you may have ditched me since I've been such a bad blog buddy. Or maybe some of you are just MIA recently too... who knows!

Keep up the good work, everyone!

Blah

So ever since my Alabama trip, I have NOT been able to get back on track. But, bottom line is I have to.

The fact of the matter: I've been exceptionally lazy. I haven't journaled, I haven't cooked, I haven't gone to the gym.

I will not let this slump continue beyond yesterday. Today I was back on track. Tomorrow I will anticipate a gain, and that's what I deserve, because I haven't stayed on plan. I also am going from a morning WI to an evening WI, which would mean a slight fluctuation in my weight anyway. Tomorrow I'll face the music, and that will be that.

My future mother-in-law sent me some pictures from Thanksgiving... there was one of me that I didn't know was being taken. It was while we were all in line for food. I actually thought "wow, you look skinnier!" when I saw it. The sweater I'm wearing is 1/2 of the outfit that I bought for meeting my 10% goal.

Here you have it:

I'm sorry I haven't been reading & encouraging all of you. I am going to make a better effort at that as well. You gals are great, and I can't wait to see all of you reach your goals!