Well, it's Tuesday, which means time to check in for the challenge. I weighed in at Friday morning's meeting & was down 1.4 more, which is good. I am making progress towards making up what I had gained. Now I am only 5.8 up from my lowest instead of 14 up!
Unfortunately this weekend I went a little crazy eating out. And when that happens, I have a hard time being good again on Monday. I'm sure I'm not alone here! Part of my problem is probably that I need to go grocery shopping, then that way there will be healthy things in my house & I won't be tempted to go out and get something. Oh well, it's a journey!
I have a friend coming to visit for a week. She and her friend are driving down from Canada & they'll be here tomorrow! She and I met online when we were 16, and we are finally getting the opportunity to meet! It's been a long time coming! Her visit will also equal a lot of eating out, for sure. I don't know that I'll make the healthiest choices while she is here, but I'd like to publicly make a committment--no matter how good or bad I do this week, once my friend goes home, I am going to start going to the gym again. My goal will be three times per week. So, starting next week, exercise is going to be my new best friend. I'm sure we will have a love/hate relationship.
I won't be able to go to my Friday morning meeting this week b/c I will be in Chicago. Maybe there is a morning meeting tomorrow that I can go to before my friend gets here. I'm afraid it may show a gain after my weekend recklessness, but, so goes life. You give half-assed effort sometimes & you'll get half-assed results.
I hope everyone has an enjoyable week!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Perseverance
per·se·ver·ance
–noun
1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
I have always known that when I reach my 75 pound goal, I will get another tattoo. That's been my reward for about 9 months now, and I have been looking forward to it. (A little fun fact about me--I have 5 tattoos, none of which you would know I have unless wearing capris or a tank top). I set that as my reward back in August, yet I didn't know what I would get. All I knew was that I wanted it to be a word that represented my weight loss journey. The word perseverance always came to mind when thinking of what word could encapsulate my hard work. I have since decided on a different word & have designed my future tattoo, but it will remain a secret until I meet my 75 pound goal. It is not this word, however. But I wanted to talk about this word.
What keeps us going? When we fall down flat on our faces, whatever our program may be, what is it that makes some of us shake ourselves off & get back up, and makes some of us feel dejected, like we'll never be able to do this?
I've been both of those people. I've had my moments where I wanted to stay flat on my face and kick and scream and cry and say "I don't wanna!". It's hard work to stick with something like this. And it's not fun sometimes. There are days when I want to say, "Screw you healthy food, I'm getting a pizza. And ice cream." And sometimes I do get pizza. And ice cream. Like yesterday. But then there are times when I say "You know what, Teale. It's your decision to be unhealthy, just like it's your decision to be healthy. And nothing worth having in this world comes easy, so get off your shrinking butt and get your chin up, we've got some work to do."
In my real life, I am a generally upbeat person. Sometimes I'll mope around in my blog & write about stuff that gets me down, but I usually put on a pretty good front. I am notorious for pushing others away when I'm having personal life struggles. I want to be the strong one. It's because I've always had to be. I can't say where all my personality traits came from or began, but I can absolutely tell you where this one comes from. When I was 16, my dad passed away suddenly. My mom was obviously devastated, as was I, but because she was falling to pieces, someone had to stay strong. And that person was me. When I would go out and get our groceries or run our errands, people would always ask, "How's your mom doing?" but never EVER would they ask, "How are you doing?" Since noone asked, I learned to keep how I was feeling bottled inside. And to this day, I still do it.
But Thursday I was really having a hard day. I was off work, and just feeling really miserable about a lot of things in my life. The main thing is my extreme unhappiness with my job. Extreme. That is sort of at the root of things, and it makes me not want to make my effort where Weight Watchers is concerned. I stayed home all day on Thursday, in my pajamas. I didn't want to do a single thing but mope. I ate like crap, more or less, and you know what, momentarily, it DID make me feel better. But after I ate that pizza, I still felt just as shitty, if not more, than I did before eating it. It was just one of those days where I felt like throwing in the towel.
But I'm not. I will persevere.
Only I have the power to make me into the person I want to become. Outside forces, no matter how powerful they seem at the time, are not responsible for me going off plan. I am responsible for that. And there are still going to be days when I want to quit, and there are still going to be days, I'm sure, where I eat something I shouldn't, in quantities I shouldn't... but the more important part is what I do after I make that bad decision. It's whether I decide to be the person that stays on the ground after I've fallen, or the person that stands up, dusts herself off, and keeps on trying.
Persevere.
–noun
1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
I have always known that when I reach my 75 pound goal, I will get another tattoo. That's been my reward for about 9 months now, and I have been looking forward to it. (A little fun fact about me--I have 5 tattoos, none of which you would know I have unless wearing capris or a tank top). I set that as my reward back in August, yet I didn't know what I would get. All I knew was that I wanted it to be a word that represented my weight loss journey. The word perseverance always came to mind when thinking of what word could encapsulate my hard work. I have since decided on a different word & have designed my future tattoo, but it will remain a secret until I meet my 75 pound goal. It is not this word, however. But I wanted to talk about this word.
What keeps us going? When we fall down flat on our faces, whatever our program may be, what is it that makes some of us shake ourselves off & get back up, and makes some of us feel dejected, like we'll never be able to do this?
I've been both of those people. I've had my moments where I wanted to stay flat on my face and kick and scream and cry and say "I don't wanna!". It's hard work to stick with something like this. And it's not fun sometimes. There are days when I want to say, "Screw you healthy food, I'm getting a pizza. And ice cream." And sometimes I do get pizza. And ice cream. Like yesterday. But then there are times when I say "You know what, Teale. It's your decision to be unhealthy, just like it's your decision to be healthy. And nothing worth having in this world comes easy, so get off your shrinking butt and get your chin up, we've got some work to do."
In my real life, I am a generally upbeat person. Sometimes I'll mope around in my blog & write about stuff that gets me down, but I usually put on a pretty good front. I am notorious for pushing others away when I'm having personal life struggles. I want to be the strong one. It's because I've always had to be. I can't say where all my personality traits came from or began, but I can absolutely tell you where this one comes from. When I was 16, my dad passed away suddenly. My mom was obviously devastated, as was I, but because she was falling to pieces, someone had to stay strong. And that person was me. When I would go out and get our groceries or run our errands, people would always ask, "How's your mom doing?" but never EVER would they ask, "How are you doing?" Since noone asked, I learned to keep how I was feeling bottled inside. And to this day, I still do it.
But Thursday I was really having a hard day. I was off work, and just feeling really miserable about a lot of things in my life. The main thing is my extreme unhappiness with my job. Extreme. That is sort of at the root of things, and it makes me not want to make my effort where Weight Watchers is concerned. I stayed home all day on Thursday, in my pajamas. I didn't want to do a single thing but mope. I ate like crap, more or less, and you know what, momentarily, it DID make me feel better. But after I ate that pizza, I still felt just as shitty, if not more, than I did before eating it. It was just one of those days where I felt like throwing in the towel.
But I'm not. I will persevere.
Only I have the power to make me into the person I want to become. Outside forces, no matter how powerful they seem at the time, are not responsible for me going off plan. I am responsible for that. And there are still going to be days when I want to quit, and there are still going to be days, I'm sure, where I eat something I shouldn't, in quantities I shouldn't... but the more important part is what I do after I make that bad decision. It's whether I decide to be the person that stays on the ground after I've fallen, or the person that stands up, dusts herself off, and keeps on trying.
Persevere.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Struggles
I was watching TV tonight at about 7pm, after dinner. They were eating pizza.
And since then, ALL I can think about is ordering a pizza.
Now, having pizza for dinner in itself would be bad enough for me, because I know I would overeat... but I have ALREADY had dinner, so ordering pizza would be ridiculous.
But it's all I've been thinking about.
I had a 1pt WW cookie. I drank water. I still want the pizza.
Why do I want the stupid pizza? I want to lose weight. But right now, I want to taste the pizza more.
So I asked myself, what is it about the pizza that makes you want it so badly... and it's honestly just how happy tasting something good would make me. Today was a bad day. I hate my job with so much passion it's unbelievable. Today was just one more of those awful days at that hellhole. Eating some tasty pizza would make me forget about how much I hate my job. Eating some pizza would make me forget the misery. Momentarily.
Eating pizza would also bloat me like no other. It would put me over my points for the day. Then there would be leftovers and I would be tempted by them tomorrow.
I'm almost in tears here. WHY am I like this? Normal people are NOT obsessive like this about stuffing their feelings with food.
I've tried doing other things tonight. I have watched TV, I've read my book, I've played games on the computer, I've BLOGGED. But still, there's this whisper in my ear... orderpizzaorderpizzaorderpizza.
I know what I should do, but I don't know what I will do.
And since then, ALL I can think about is ordering a pizza.
Now, having pizza for dinner in itself would be bad enough for me, because I know I would overeat... but I have ALREADY had dinner, so ordering pizza would be ridiculous.
But it's all I've been thinking about.
I had a 1pt WW cookie. I drank water. I still want the pizza.
Why do I want the stupid pizza? I want to lose weight. But right now, I want to taste the pizza more.
So I asked myself, what is it about the pizza that makes you want it so badly... and it's honestly just how happy tasting something good would make me. Today was a bad day. I hate my job with so much passion it's unbelievable. Today was just one more of those awful days at that hellhole. Eating some tasty pizza would make me forget about how much I hate my job. Eating some pizza would make me forget the misery. Momentarily.
Eating pizza would also bloat me like no other. It would put me over my points for the day. Then there would be leftovers and I would be tempted by them tomorrow.
I'm almost in tears here. WHY am I like this? Normal people are NOT obsessive like this about stuffing their feelings with food.
I've tried doing other things tonight. I have watched TV, I've read my book, I've played games on the computer, I've BLOGGED. But still, there's this whisper in my ear... orderpizzaorderpizzaorderpizza.
I know what I should do, but I don't know what I will do.
Blog Buddies
Hello friends! I am trying to get into the swing of reading/commenting more often again. I have a whole list of blogs on my google reader, but I know some people have gone MIA, while others write 3 times a day! I have read the most recent couple of posts for everyone, and I've marked the rest as read, just so that I can catch up.
What I'd like to do is get some new, updated bloggers on there... so what I'd like you to do is reccomend to me 3 favorite blogs that you read. Tell me why you read them (inspirational, entertaining, etc), and don't forget to give me the link or url address to their blogs so I can stop by and read them & add them to my google reader! I realize that you don't know what blogs I read all ready, so I may get some reccomendations that I all ready have bookmarked. That's OK! And if you want to reccomend more than 3, have at it!!!
Let me have it:)
What I'd like to do is get some new, updated bloggers on there... so what I'd like you to do is reccomend to me 3 favorite blogs that you read. Tell me why you read them (inspirational, entertaining, etc), and don't forget to give me the link or url address to their blogs so I can stop by and read them & add them to my google reader! I realize that you don't know what blogs I read all ready, so I may get some reccomendations that I all ready have bookmarked. That's OK! And if you want to reccomend more than 3, have at it!!!
Let me have it:)
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
HYC Challenge Check-In
I can't remember the last time I posted a check-in for HYC that was actually GOOD! Here's my week in a nutshell...
Last Tuesday I finally got my head on straight. I got groceries, including LOTS of produce (that I have since eaten almost ALL of... none has gone to waste!), planned out what I could eat during the week, and I was ready to shine! I had 3 days of eating totally OP and went to WW on Friday morning. I was down an astonishing 6.6 pounds on the scale! Wahooo!!! I was even deemed that meeting's Biggest Loser and got to take home this big flower smily face to keep me on track all week! 
My weekend started off pretty good. I made good decisions at dinner & at the movies. Things went a bit downhill Saturday, but still not unsalvagable, I don't think. I had leftover spinach quiche for breakfast (8 points), had McDonald's as my only option for lunch, but got a plain McChicken (8 points), then had a wedding reception to go to where I made relatively good choices totalling 10 points. So, that left me with 10 daily points and my 35 weekly points... and there was an open bar.... I would imagine that I drank about that, too. I did NOT however, have any cake! We also got White Castle for the drunken ride back to our hotel... I'd never had it before, but let me tell you, I want more. I don't even know the points on those little suckers. But I ate 2. But, that was just one day, and Sunday I did better. I didn't eat much all day b/c we were on the road, then dinner was at Red Lobster for my mom's birthday. I could have made a better decision, but the fact was that it was dinner time & I'd used 4 of my daily points, so I got what I wanted.
But, the weekend is over, and now I'm back to focused eating & logging everything that goes in my mouth! I am GOING to exercise today. Period. I took the stairs down 16 flights of stairs today all ready... that's something. Yes, going up them would be more of a workout, but I don't really want to be sweaty at work! Tonight I'm making porcupine meatballs (ground turkey meatballs w/rice in them, covered w/FF cream of mushroom soup). I think Instead of the rice though, I may use some spinach & onion that I have in my veggie drawer that I don't want to go to waste. That would lower the points AND I'd get use of my veggies. That may just be a plan!
I am going to continue to go to Friday morning WW meetings (as long as I continue to have Friday mornings off). I was feeling a little burnt out on my leader. She's really upbeat & nice, but I've come to realize she's really spacy & ditzy, and it's started to get on my nerves. The Friday lady is a little different. She's quieter, but she's very encouraging, and I think maybe even just a few weeks away from my other woman might be enough to get me back to Tuesdays eventually. I miss the Tuesday crowd, but I need a break! So, fingers crossed that Friday morning brings good results!!!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Fantastic.
After 3 good days on plan, I went to my WW meeting to see if it made any difference after weeks of NOT being on plan. I had been eating out a lot before & not drinking much water, so I did anticipate a bit of water weight loss. I also was weighing in in the morning vs. in the evening when I usually do.
But let me tell you how much it motivated me to see the scale down 6.6 pounds!
That was definately what I needed. I feel less forlorn about the fact that I was up 13.8 pounds from my lowest... I just cut that in half!
Last night I faced some challenges, but I think I handled them very well. I went to dinner at my favorite mexican restaurant with a friend. I had only a few chips with salsa, instead of half the basket. I had iced tea instead of a margarita. And I had a shrimp fajita quesadilla instead of cheesy chicken enchiladas w/rice & beans. And I didn't eat it all. I used maybe 1 tsp of guac & sour cream instead of the 1/4 c. they give you of each. I did good.
Then was the movies. Movie popcorn is something I absolutely LOVE. Something I will NOT give up, but will have only in small amounts now. Instead of getting the extra large tub with tons of butter, I got the small. Instead of getting a box of snowcaps & eating them, I brought a 100 cal pack of the oreo candy bites with me. Instead of a huge full-sugar & calorie pop, I got a small diet. I did good again!
I think I am finally back in the game!
I think that a lot of the friends that used to read me have maybe stopped. That's to be expected when I disappear for some time, but hopefully that encouragement will return, because it certainly is helpful!
But let me tell you how much it motivated me to see the scale down 6.6 pounds!
That was definately what I needed. I feel less forlorn about the fact that I was up 13.8 pounds from my lowest... I just cut that in half!
Last night I faced some challenges, but I think I handled them very well. I went to dinner at my favorite mexican restaurant with a friend. I had only a few chips with salsa, instead of half the basket. I had iced tea instead of a margarita. And I had a shrimp fajita quesadilla instead of cheesy chicken enchiladas w/rice & beans. And I didn't eat it all. I used maybe 1 tsp of guac & sour cream instead of the 1/4 c. they give you of each. I did good.
Then was the movies. Movie popcorn is something I absolutely LOVE. Something I will NOT give up, but will have only in small amounts now. Instead of getting the extra large tub with tons of butter, I got the small. Instead of getting a box of snowcaps & eating them, I brought a 100 cal pack of the oreo candy bites with me. Instead of a huge full-sugar & calorie pop, I got a small diet. I did good again!
I think I am finally back in the game!
I think that a lot of the friends that used to read me have maybe stopped. That's to be expected when I disappear for some time, but hopefully that encouragement will return, because it certainly is helpful!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Breakfast Quiche
Today is my day off, so I was able to cook some tasty breakfast! I have a recipe on here I think for a ham & cheese "quiche". You use bisquick, egg beaters, diced ham, cheese, etc. I don't remember the quantities of each, but I wanted to try something similar using veggies. So, I improvised. I still had some bisquick, but I didn't have any egg beaters. I did have whole eggs though, so I decided to use those. It bumps up the points a little, but using veggies in the quiche doesn't take any points, so really it's not so bad. So, here is what I did!
Spinach/Onion Breakfast "Quiche"
4 servings/4 points
3 medium eggs (6 points)
1/2 c. bisquick (5 points)
1/2 c. 2% shredded cheese (4 points)
1/4 c. diced onion (0 points)
1/2 c. torn spinach (0 points)
(next time I would add some garlic, salt, and pepper, but I forgot! I just added some garlic salt & ground pepper on top & it was perfect)
I mixed the bisquick, water, and eggs until they were smooth, then added the remaining ingredients.
Pour the mixture into a VERY WELL sprayed round pie plate or casserole dish. You gotta spray it well or it will stick!
Cook in a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes. You'll see the edges getting a golden brown color, and if you stick a knife in the middle, it should come out pretty clean!
This is DELICIOUS! And I know from having made the ham & cheese one before, that it's even better the next day warmed up in the microwave!
Take a look at this beauty. It was almost too pretty to eat. Almost.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Day Two
First of all, I resisted the Panera. They took it over to the other breakroom, but they did tell me it was there. I had to go to that breakroom to get my lunch, and I saw them on the table. I peeked in the box, then I closed it & walked away! Wahoo, NSV!
Today has been another good day food-wise.
Breakfast: cereal w/milk
Snack:Granola Bar
Lunch: Banana, salad w/feta, croutons, tomatoes, and light 3 cheese ranch dressing, 100 cal pack
Snack: mini rice cakes
Dinner: tomatoes w/feta & olive oil, broccoli, grilled ham & cheese, and baked bbq lays
I still have 10 points left for the evening. I will probably have some cheese & crackers later this evening before bed.
Last night I mixed 1 spoon of peanut butter w/some banana cream pie yogurt for a tasty pb-banana concoction. Would make a good fruit dip.
I weigh in tomorrow at WW. Tuesday is usually my weigh in day, but after the horrible time I'd been doing, I just couldn't face it. So, Wednesday & Thursday were good, OP days. While they won't erase the bad ones that I had before it, I'm hoping that they at least allow me to maintain. I can't handle ANOTHER gain. This will also be a morning WI, and usually I do evening ones... so, maybe that will help.
I will be using all my flex on Saturday... Eddie and I have a wedding to go to... with an open bar. My plan is to stay away from the fruity, sweet mixed drinks. And the wine, because it gives me a headache. Light beer & diet pop w/liquor will be my drinks for the evening. Must remember to make smart food decisions after drinking.
Today has been another good day food-wise.
Breakfast: cereal w/milk
Snack:Granola Bar
Lunch: Banana, salad w/feta, croutons, tomatoes, and light 3 cheese ranch dressing, 100 cal pack
Snack: mini rice cakes
Dinner: tomatoes w/feta & olive oil, broccoli, grilled ham & cheese, and baked bbq lays
I still have 10 points left for the evening. I will probably have some cheese & crackers later this evening before bed.
Last night I mixed 1 spoon of peanut butter w/some banana cream pie yogurt for a tasty pb-banana concoction. Would make a good fruit dip.
I weigh in tomorrow at WW. Tuesday is usually my weigh in day, but after the horrible time I'd been doing, I just couldn't face it. So, Wednesday & Thursday were good, OP days. While they won't erase the bad ones that I had before it, I'm hoping that they at least allow me to maintain. I can't handle ANOTHER gain. This will also be a morning WI, and usually I do evening ones... so, maybe that will help.
I will be using all my flex on Saturday... Eddie and I have a wedding to go to... with an open bar. My plan is to stay away from the fruity, sweet mixed drinks. And the wine, because it gives me a headache. Light beer & diet pop w/liquor will be my drinks for the evening. Must remember to make smart food decisions after drinking.
Temptation
The case managers have their weekly meeting in the conference room right next to my desk. I saw a man enter with two huge bags from Panera. I know that there will probably be extras and they will offer me a bagel. My mouth waters thinking about the cinnamon-crunchy-goodness w/hazelnut cream cheese.
But I will say no.
It's not in my plan for today.
I WILL SAY NO.
*****
Yesterday went very very well. I did not get in my exercise, which is unfortunate, but I did a lot of other things right, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it. For my first day back on plan after many off-days, I think I did pretty well. My menu obviously needs some tweaking, but this was a vast improvement. Here's yesterday's menu:
Cheese (3)
Morning Quaker Minis (2)
Salad (2)
Soup (3)
Smart Ones (6)
Popcorn (4)
Broccoli (0)
Grape tomatoes w/feta & olive oil (2)
Wheat spaghetti w/spray butter & parmesan (5)
2 WW cookies (2)
100 cal pack (2)
Yogurt (2)
Peanut butter (2)
Total: 35
But I will say no.
It's not in my plan for today.
I WILL SAY NO.
*****
Yesterday went very very well. I did not get in my exercise, which is unfortunate, but I did a lot of other things right, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it. For my first day back on plan after many off-days, I think I did pretty well. My menu obviously needs some tweaking, but this was a vast improvement. Here's yesterday's menu:
Cheese (3)
Morning Quaker Minis (2)
Salad (2)
Soup (3)
Smart Ones (6)
Popcorn (4)
Broccoli (0)
Grape tomatoes w/feta & olive oil (2)
Wheat spaghetti w/spray butter & parmesan (5)
2 WW cookies (2)
100 cal pack (2)
Yogurt (2)
Peanut butter (2)
Total: 35
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Evaluation
I decided to evaluate my progress on WW since January 1st. I knew that I had lost, met some goals, then gained, gained, gained. I wasn't sure really what my weight even was at the beginning of the year, so I checked it out.
And I was able to see a pattern of self-sabotage.
The first 8 weeks of the new year, I successfully lost weight--every single week. On the 8th week, I crossed over the 50-pound mark of weight lost. Hooray! Then the following week, I had a gain.
The week after that, I lost again, and that put me at 53.8 pounds lost, which is the most I have lost so far. And every week since then, I have gained. That's 4 WW meetings, but I did miss 3. So, 7 weeks and I have made no progress. (I didn't go to my meeting last night, I'm going to go Friday... but I hope it's not 8 weeks with no progress).
Overall, I am 1.8 pounds lighter now than I was on January 1st. I suppose I should be happy about that. There is less of me. However, seeing it put out there is eye-opening. I have gone four months with pretty much no progress. If I want to see progress, though, I need to be 100% committed again. I know the program. I can give great advice to others about ways to try harder & ways to stick to the plan... but I can't seem to follow my own advice. Whine, whine, whine, I know, right?
I have just been lazy.
After the horrible breakup, I wanted to focus on anything BUT that, so I kept my head in the WW game, hardcore. It wasn't until a month after the breakup that I started gaining weight. That was about the same time that I met Eddie. New relationships also seem to be my downfall. Eating out, getting drinks, etc. When I started dating Mike, that's when I packed on 50 extra pounds. I worked hard to get them off, and I need to keep working hard to get more off.
I've gotten into the habit of saying "OK, tomorrow is the day, I'll just have one more bad day to get it out of my system". But that ONE MORE DAY just keeps coming. Even this morning, I thought "hmm, maybe I'll swing by McDonald's and get my LAST bad breakfast there." Why bother with one more bad thing though? Why not just stop?! So, I didn't go.
There are 4 months left until my WW anniversary. My goal for those 4 months is to lose 20 pounds. That would put me at 60 pounds lost. Initially, I wanted to hit my 75 pound mark by my anniversary, but 35 pounds in 4 months seems like a lofty goal, so I won't set my expectations that high. That would put me at 267.6 and I haven't seen the 260s in who knows how long.
So here's to the next 20 pounds!
And I was able to see a pattern of self-sabotage.
The first 8 weeks of the new year, I successfully lost weight--every single week. On the 8th week, I crossed over the 50-pound mark of weight lost. Hooray! Then the following week, I had a gain.
The week after that, I lost again, and that put me at 53.8 pounds lost, which is the most I have lost so far. And every week since then, I have gained. That's 4 WW meetings, but I did miss 3. So, 7 weeks and I have made no progress. (I didn't go to my meeting last night, I'm going to go Friday... but I hope it's not 8 weeks with no progress).
Overall, I am 1.8 pounds lighter now than I was on January 1st. I suppose I should be happy about that. There is less of me. However, seeing it put out there is eye-opening. I have gone four months with pretty much no progress. If I want to see progress, though, I need to be 100% committed again. I know the program. I can give great advice to others about ways to try harder & ways to stick to the plan... but I can't seem to follow my own advice. Whine, whine, whine, I know, right?
I have just been lazy.
After the horrible breakup, I wanted to focus on anything BUT that, so I kept my head in the WW game, hardcore. It wasn't until a month after the breakup that I started gaining weight. That was about the same time that I met Eddie. New relationships also seem to be my downfall. Eating out, getting drinks, etc. When I started dating Mike, that's when I packed on 50 extra pounds. I worked hard to get them off, and I need to keep working hard to get more off.
I've gotten into the habit of saying "OK, tomorrow is the day, I'll just have one more bad day to get it out of my system". But that ONE MORE DAY just keeps coming. Even this morning, I thought "hmm, maybe I'll swing by McDonald's and get my LAST bad breakfast there." Why bother with one more bad thing though? Why not just stop?! So, I didn't go.
There are 4 months left until my WW anniversary. My goal for those 4 months is to lose 20 pounds. That would put me at 60 pounds lost. Initially, I wanted to hit my 75 pound mark by my anniversary, but 35 pounds in 4 months seems like a lofty goal, so I won't set my expectations that high. That would put me at 267.6 and I haven't seen the 260s in who knows how long.
So here's to the next 20 pounds!
Just for today.
I commit to staying totally on-plan today and also to getting 30 minutes of exercise.
I'm doing horribly. But just for today, I am going to do well. Then I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.
This weekend I went on another binge. Went to the store and bought $30 worth of totally crappy food, just because it sounded good.
Last night I cleaned out the cabinets and fridge of the junk food I'd bought & I threw it away. Today I go to the store and get good-for-me food.
Just for today, I can do well.
I'm doing horribly. But just for today, I am going to do well. Then I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.
This weekend I went on another binge. Went to the store and bought $30 worth of totally crappy food, just because it sounded good.
Last night I cleaned out the cabinets and fridge of the junk food I'd bought & I threw it away. Today I go to the store and get good-for-me food.
Just for today, I can do well.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Disappointment.
I have had a really rough 2 months with WW. I haven't been following the plan very well... well, not at all. Last week though, I recommitted. No more eating out 1-2 times/day, no more sugary pop at lunch... back to healthy stuff!I had a really good week, I thought. It was definately the best week (by far) since probably January.
My weekend was a little rocky... I ate out a couple times and I didn't record my food on the weekend (but did really well during the week). All in all though, I expected a loss of a couple pounds. I figured even though I had a couple little slip-ups over the weekend, it was leaps & bounds better than I had been doing.
So imagine my surprise, disappointment, and frustration when I weighed in tonight & had GAINED 2.2 more pounds.I have always been one to own up to my actions. If I'm not following the plan, it's not going to work... and the past several weeks, I've gained because I haven't even attempted to follow the plan. This week though, it just doesn't make sense. I did so many things good & right. And I have NOTHING to show for it.
I have officially gained 15 pounds this year. So excuse my eye roll when I get really nice comments from you ladies telling me how good I look. I know you wouldn't say it if you didnt' think it, but the fact is, my fat ass is 15 pounds heavier. And THAT does not look good.
I know that it's gonna take hard work to take it back off, and it's not gonna come off overnight. I know that. I'm just upset by this week's results. This is the first week that I've actually, genuinely been surprised by the scale. Ugh.
Keep on keepin' on, I suppose.
My weekend was a little rocky... I ate out a couple times and I didn't record my food on the weekend (but did really well during the week). All in all though, I expected a loss of a couple pounds. I figured even though I had a couple little slip-ups over the weekend, it was leaps & bounds better than I had been doing.
So imagine my surprise, disappointment, and frustration when I weighed in tonight & had GAINED 2.2 more pounds.I have always been one to own up to my actions. If I'm not following the plan, it's not going to work... and the past several weeks, I've gained because I haven't even attempted to follow the plan. This week though, it just doesn't make sense. I did so many things good & right. And I have NOTHING to show for it.
I have officially gained 15 pounds this year. So excuse my eye roll when I get really nice comments from you ladies telling me how good I look. I know you wouldn't say it if you didnt' think it, but the fact is, my fat ass is 15 pounds heavier. And THAT does not look good.
I know that it's gonna take hard work to take it back off, and it's not gonna come off overnight. I know that. I'm just upset by this week's results. This is the first week that I've actually, genuinely been surprised by the scale. Ugh.
Keep on keepin' on, I suppose.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Body Shots
(not of the alcoholic kind!)
Just thought I'd post a picture of me & my boyfriend Eddie all dressed up! We had a formal to attend this past weekend, and we do look cute, if I say so myself!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Italian Sausage & Rotini
Here's the recipe for the DELICIOUS meal I made last night!
Italian Sausage & Rotini
4 servings/5 points each
3 Turkey Italian Sausage (3 points each=9 points)
3 servings whole wheat rotini (3 points/serving=9 points)
1 small can tomato sauce (about 1/2 cup=0 points)
1 can diced tomatoes--I used the onion/garlic flavor (about 1 cup=0 points)
1 small can mushrooms--I'd leave them out next time (1/4 cup=0 points)
1/4 cup lowfat parmesan (2 points)
Minced Garlic
Salt
Pepper
Greek Seasoning (optional)
1. Cut up turkey sausage into desired size & cook in skillet sprayed w/cooking spray. Once sausage is cooked all the way through, add desired amount of garlic. I also like to add a little greek seasoning, but that's up to you!
2. Add tomato sauce, tomatoes, and mushrooms. Season with salt, pepper, etc to taste.
3. Cook 3 servings whole wheat rotini.
4. Combine sauce mixture and pasta, then add the parmesan cheese. Mix well & serve!
I divided this into 4 servings for 5 points each. The servings are pretty large, so if you made it into more servings, just adjust your points accordingly!
Italian Sausage & Rotini
4 servings/5 points each
3 Turkey Italian Sausage (3 points each=9 points)
3 servings whole wheat rotini (3 points/serving=9 points)
1 small can tomato sauce (about 1/2 cup=0 points)
1 can diced tomatoes--I used the onion/garlic flavor (about 1 cup=0 points)
1 small can mushrooms--I'd leave them out next time (1/4 cup=0 points)
1/4 cup lowfat parmesan (2 points)
Minced Garlic
Salt
Pepper
Greek Seasoning (optional)
1. Cut up turkey sausage into desired size & cook in skillet sprayed w/cooking spray. Once sausage is cooked all the way through, add desired amount of garlic. I also like to add a little greek seasoning, but that's up to you!
2. Add tomato sauce, tomatoes, and mushrooms. Season with salt, pepper, etc to taste.
3. Cook 3 servings whole wheat rotini.
4. Combine sauce mixture and pasta, then add the parmesan cheese. Mix well & serve!
I divided this into 4 servings for 5 points each. The servings are pretty large, so if you made it into more servings, just adjust your points accordingly!
Day One
I did pretty well yesterday, if I do say so myself. Here are the things I did good:
--Ate breakfast at home instead of in our cafeteria. In the cafeteria, I had been getting a biscuit w/gravy & hashbrowns... every day. Yesterday I ate cereal w/skim milk & a banana cut up in it!
--Walked 5 minutes to & from work instead of taking the shuttle from the parking area to the door
--Logged all my food (even the chocolate I ate & shouldn't have)
--Cooked! (Recipe to follow)
--NO DRIVE-THRUS!!!
I had one small slip-up yesterday, but it wasn't that bad. I forgot to take the chocolate into work yesterday, so last night I was putting it in a ziplock bag to put next to my purse so I wouldn't forget it... and without even thinking, I popped a truffle in my mouth. A 2-point-per-piece truffle. And then I lost control and ate 4 more. So, 10 points worth of crappy chocolate. But, I logged it, I used 4 flex because of it, and today I will do better.
This morning I cooked a couple eggs and had a piece of 1 point bread. I haven't had real eggs in so long though, that I'm not sure my body likes them. I feel a little indigestion coming on. Usually I'm an egg beaters gal, but this time I got regular eggs. We'll see.
Next entry will have my DELICIOUS dinner recipe!
--Ate breakfast at home instead of in our cafeteria. In the cafeteria, I had been getting a biscuit w/gravy & hashbrowns... every day. Yesterday I ate cereal w/skim milk & a banana cut up in it!
--Walked 5 minutes to & from work instead of taking the shuttle from the parking area to the door
--Logged all my food (even the chocolate I ate & shouldn't have)
--Cooked! (Recipe to follow)
--NO DRIVE-THRUS!!!
I had one small slip-up yesterday, but it wasn't that bad. I forgot to take the chocolate into work yesterday, so last night I was putting it in a ziplock bag to put next to my purse so I wouldn't forget it... and without even thinking, I popped a truffle in my mouth. A 2-point-per-piece truffle. And then I lost control and ate 4 more. So, 10 points worth of crappy chocolate. But, I logged it, I used 4 flex because of it, and today I will do better.
This morning I cooked a couple eggs and had a piece of 1 point bread. I haven't had real eggs in so long though, that I'm not sure my body likes them. I feel a little indigestion coming on. Usually I'm an egg beaters gal, but this time I got regular eggs. We'll see.
Next entry will have my DELICIOUS dinner recipe!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Dear Old Self
Dear Old Self,
On August 22, 2007 I took a vow to leave you behind. At first it was easy. I was motivated to find the New Self, and I walked away from you pretty much without even looking back. I gave up your desire for greasy McDonald's, daily candy bars, and calorie-filled, sugar-loaded pop. New Self was winning the battle, and pounds dropped off. I think New Self lost 30 pounds in 3 months. It was a great ego boost, let me tell you. New Self was kicking Old Self's ass.
Around Thanksgiving time, Old Self, you tried to sneak your way back into my life. I tried to remain strong & remember how great New Self felt, but you were trying your hardest to be the boss in my life again. I fought back hard too though, and even though I didn't lose like I had been, I still came through the holidays weighing less than I did at the beginning of them.
The new year came, and New Self was feeling lazy and tired... you are a figher, Old Self... You were really fighting to win my life over again, and I felt exhausted from fighting you! I went through some tough times in my personal life starting in January, and New Self started to feel defeated. Why bother? New Self tried to at least hold on a little through the storm, but Old Self, you seemed to be getting stronger.
Eventually New Self gave up. New Self was tired of fighting and it was easier to just back down and let you take charge again. I thought that New Self had totally hit the road, never to be seen again. Old Self, you have been ruining my life. You have got to go. I'm not happier with you around, and I'm certainly not healthier. Sometimes we keep old friends in our lives just because they've been there for so long. They might not be the best thing for us anymore (maybe they never were), but we feel attached to them in a very strong way. Well, Old Self, you are not my friend anymore. It's time to say goodbye.
I think in August, I really just said "see ya later" to you, but this time, I have to say goodbye for good. We can't meet again in the future, not if I want to be a healthy person and have New Self in my life. We have to close this chapter. You've been a close friend, Old Self, but I can't say you've been a "good" friend. You've been there for me when others weren't, but I know New Self will eventually be stronger than you ever were. It will just take time for New Self to thrive. But the good news is that even though you returned, New Self didn't really abandon me like I thought. Somehow, New Self held on through the rough waters lately, because she wants to be my best friend now.
New Self has grown her wings. It's time to fly.
Teale
On August 22, 2007 I took a vow to leave you behind. At first it was easy. I was motivated to find the New Self, and I walked away from you pretty much without even looking back. I gave up your desire for greasy McDonald's, daily candy bars, and calorie-filled, sugar-loaded pop. New Self was winning the battle, and pounds dropped off. I think New Self lost 30 pounds in 3 months. It was a great ego boost, let me tell you. New Self was kicking Old Self's ass.
Around Thanksgiving time, Old Self, you tried to sneak your way back into my life. I tried to remain strong & remember how great New Self felt, but you were trying your hardest to be the boss in my life again. I fought back hard too though, and even though I didn't lose like I had been, I still came through the holidays weighing less than I did at the beginning of them.
The new year came, and New Self was feeling lazy and tired... you are a figher, Old Self... You were really fighting to win my life over again, and I felt exhausted from fighting you! I went through some tough times in my personal life starting in January, and New Self started to feel defeated. Why bother? New Self tried to at least hold on a little through the storm, but Old Self, you seemed to be getting stronger.
Eventually New Self gave up. New Self was tired of fighting and it was easier to just back down and let you take charge again. I thought that New Self had totally hit the road, never to be seen again. Old Self, you have been ruining my life. You have got to go. I'm not happier with you around, and I'm certainly not healthier. Sometimes we keep old friends in our lives just because they've been there for so long. They might not be the best thing for us anymore (maybe they never were), but we feel attached to them in a very strong way. Well, Old Self, you are not my friend anymore. It's time to say goodbye.
I think in August, I really just said "see ya later" to you, but this time, I have to say goodbye for good. We can't meet again in the future, not if I want to be a healthy person and have New Self in my life. We have to close this chapter. You've been a close friend, Old Self, but I can't say you've been a "good" friend. You've been there for me when others weren't, but I know New Self will eventually be stronger than you ever were. It will just take time for New Self to thrive. But the good news is that even though you returned, New Self didn't really abandon me like I thought. Somehow, New Self held on through the rough waters lately, because she wants to be my best friend now.
New Self has grown her wings. It's time to fly.
Teale
Come Clean.
I feel like an alcoholic who has had a relapse. The kind of alcoholic that KNOWS what they're doing isnt' healthy, and KNOWS what they need to do to get better (stop with the bad behavior), and KNOWS the tools to beat their addiction, but somehow gets lost.
That's totally how I feel--lost.
To be honest, I think that the whirlwind of my first few months of the year have finally caught up to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad or upset about my breakup situation... in fact, it's just the opposite. I have a new boyfriend who I am 100% CRAZY about, and I just kind of felt like right now I don't mind being the fat happy girl with a boyfriend.
It's kind of a feeling of helplessness, because only I can help myself... words from others (while appreciated) will not make me get back on my feet any easier or faster. I've talked to my friend Melissa about it, and we set a goal for ourselves for our WW anniversary that's coming up in August. We're going to go to a concert, and by the time that concert is here, I'd like to be at 75 pounds lost. The unfortunate part is that I've probably gained 15 since the last time I lost at WW.
I am disappointed in myself. I totally fell back into old habits. I can't tell you the last time I went to the grocery store, or even the last time I cooked. I've turned back into that fast food junkie.
Oh, and the chocolate... don't get me started on the chocolate.
It's embarrassing, beyond belief embarrassing, but I have to say it so that it's out there... We ordered a big box of truffles for the wedding favors. 180 truffles to be exact. And about a month ago, I opened the box. It had remained unopened for awhile, I was hoping to sell them... but I made the mistake of having "just one". And now, the truffles are probably 2/3 gone. I've shared some, but the majority was me eating them. By the handfuls.
It's disgusting.
I've been avoiding this place b/c I don't want to be the Debbie Downer of the group & be the kind of person that says "woe is me" and doesn't do anything about it. I recognize that I need to do something about it, but I feel like I'm under a spell or something. My strength to say "no" diminished recently, and I'm trying to fight hard to stay above the water... I'm not trying very hard I guess...
Oh, I don't know, that's just where I stand right now. I need a plan.
That's totally how I feel--lost.
To be honest, I think that the whirlwind of my first few months of the year have finally caught up to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad or upset about my breakup situation... in fact, it's just the opposite. I have a new boyfriend who I am 100% CRAZY about, and I just kind of felt like right now I don't mind being the fat happy girl with a boyfriend.
It's kind of a feeling of helplessness, because only I can help myself... words from others (while appreciated) will not make me get back on my feet any easier or faster. I've talked to my friend Melissa about it, and we set a goal for ourselves for our WW anniversary that's coming up in August. We're going to go to a concert, and by the time that concert is here, I'd like to be at 75 pounds lost. The unfortunate part is that I've probably gained 15 since the last time I lost at WW.
I am disappointed in myself. I totally fell back into old habits. I can't tell you the last time I went to the grocery store, or even the last time I cooked. I've turned back into that fast food junkie.
Oh, and the chocolate... don't get me started on the chocolate.
It's embarrassing, beyond belief embarrassing, but I have to say it so that it's out there... We ordered a big box of truffles for the wedding favors. 180 truffles to be exact. And about a month ago, I opened the box. It had remained unopened for awhile, I was hoping to sell them... but I made the mistake of having "just one". And now, the truffles are probably 2/3 gone. I've shared some, but the majority was me eating them. By the handfuls.
It's disgusting.
I've been avoiding this place b/c I don't want to be the Debbie Downer of the group & be the kind of person that says "woe is me" and doesn't do anything about it. I recognize that I need to do something about it, but I feel like I'm under a spell or something. My strength to say "no" diminished recently, and I'm trying to fight hard to stay above the water... I'm not trying very hard I guess...
Oh, I don't know, that's just where I stand right now. I need a plan.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Lost my focus
So a lot of the ladies that I'm reading right now seem to have gone through a similar funk that I have been going through recently. Many of us started our journey at about the same time... perhaps this is the 6-8 month lull?
I have had a really really horrible 2 weeks. And for about 2 months before that, I was just half-assing it. These past two weeks though, it has been a no-holds-barred bingefest. I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted while on vacation. Mistake number one. Then when I came back, I didn't get focused like I said I would. I gave myself permission to only "try" a little bit of core & still pig out when I wanted... UNTIL TUESDAY (my ww meeting day).
Well, it's Tuesday. I weighed in. And had a 6.4 pound gain since 2 weeks ago. I honestly expected more. I thought it was going to be at least 10. I know that 6 pounds will come off with some hard work and focus.
I've honestly been wondering if I should see someone about my food issues. It's like I have blinders on and don't even realize what I'm doing until it's too late. The old habit of going to the drive-thru to get food late at night, the grabbing a piece of candy every time I pass the candy dish, the going down to the cafeteria at work every day to get a big lunch... these are habits that don't even register at the time that they're occuring. And similarly, good habits don't even register that they're missing. My friend texted me yesterday and asked if I wanted to go to the gym. THE GYM? I forgot I HAD a gym membership. I forgot that's something I SHOULD be doing. What the heck?! My most recent cause for bingeing lately has simply been boredom. How sad is that? Boredom.
So, tomorrow it's back to the grindstone. I asked my ww leader if I could get another copy of the getting started materials that they give you in week one. I gave all my stuff to my mom, so don't even have the materials to read over for the core plan. I'm unclear if the plan will be for me or not, but I figure I should try something.
Thanks to those of you that still stick by me, despite my lack of support for both myself and others right now. Mwah!
I have had a really really horrible 2 weeks. And for about 2 months before that, I was just half-assing it. These past two weeks though, it has been a no-holds-barred bingefest. I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted while on vacation. Mistake number one. Then when I came back, I didn't get focused like I said I would. I gave myself permission to only "try" a little bit of core & still pig out when I wanted... UNTIL TUESDAY (my ww meeting day).
Well, it's Tuesday. I weighed in. And had a 6.4 pound gain since 2 weeks ago. I honestly expected more. I thought it was going to be at least 10. I know that 6 pounds will come off with some hard work and focus.
I've honestly been wondering if I should see someone about my food issues. It's like I have blinders on and don't even realize what I'm doing until it's too late. The old habit of going to the drive-thru to get food late at night, the grabbing a piece of candy every time I pass the candy dish, the going down to the cafeteria at work every day to get a big lunch... these are habits that don't even register at the time that they're occuring. And similarly, good habits don't even register that they're missing. My friend texted me yesterday and asked if I wanted to go to the gym. THE GYM? I forgot I HAD a gym membership. I forgot that's something I SHOULD be doing. What the heck?! My most recent cause for bingeing lately has simply been boredom. How sad is that? Boredom.
So, tomorrow it's back to the grindstone. I asked my ww leader if I could get another copy of the getting started materials that they give you in week one. I gave all my stuff to my mom, so don't even have the materials to read over for the core plan. I'm unclear if the plan will be for me or not, but I figure I should try something.
Thanks to those of you that still stick by me, despite my lack of support for both myself and others right now. Mwah!
Friday, March 28, 2008
I've been on vacation...
And I mean that in both the literal & figurative sense. I've been away because I travelled to Oregon for a week. I have a friend out there who I went to visit. It's very beautiful out there. Before I left for my trip, I had a bit of a binge slip-up. I have been feeling very mediocre regarding my WW plan for several weeks. I haven't been strict. Hell, I haven't even been really counting points. I made a decision before my vacation that I was going to do what I wanted while on vacation, and when I returned, I was going to give the core plan an attempt. My leader suggests switching plans if you keep finding yourself in the same roadblock. So, I decided that's what I needed to do.
I feared the core plan a lot. For those that may not know the difference, WW has two plans. The flex plan gives you a daily points amount based on your weight, gender, activity level, etc. You can eat what you want, as long as you stay within your daily points value. There are good health guidelines to follow as well (such as drinking water, getting dairy, etc), but essentially, you could still eat crap while on this plan & lose weight. And tha'ts what I had been doing here and there. However, the core plan doesn't count points. There is a list of core foods, and you eat what you want to off this list (it's a big list), as much as it takes for you to feel satisfied. That's something that's very different between the plans. Flex doesn't require you to really pay attention to your comfort level. So oftentimes, I'd find myself eating simply because I had the points to use, not because I was actually hungry. Core also gives you 35 flex points per week, so if you want to eat something that's not a core food, you are still able to do that, within reason.
So the reason I was afraid of it was because I feel like if I knew when to stop when I was no longer hungry (vs. being full--that's very different!), I wouldn't weigh what I weigh now. This also changes pretty much my whole menu. Right now I do eat quite a few processed foods. Things that are quick and easy--frozen meals, 100 cal packs, etc. Core seems like a lot more "clean" eating. It also seems like a lot of work to learn the new program. But I think that's what I need. I need to focus on learning something new instead of being stuck in a comfortable spot.
I haven't been to a meeting in 2 weeks because of my trip. I will be going on Tuesday, and I am quite afraid. To be honest, I feel like I've probably gained like 10 pounds. That's what happens though when you dont' lead a healthy lifestyle. So, here's to trying something new...
If anyone that reads me is doing core or has tried it, could you please provide me with some encouragement or words of wisdom about the program? I'm going into this one blind!
I feared the core plan a lot. For those that may not know the difference, WW has two plans. The flex plan gives you a daily points amount based on your weight, gender, activity level, etc. You can eat what you want, as long as you stay within your daily points value. There are good health guidelines to follow as well (such as drinking water, getting dairy, etc), but essentially, you could still eat crap while on this plan & lose weight. And tha'ts what I had been doing here and there. However, the core plan doesn't count points. There is a list of core foods, and you eat what you want to off this list (it's a big list), as much as it takes for you to feel satisfied. That's something that's very different between the plans. Flex doesn't require you to really pay attention to your comfort level. So oftentimes, I'd find myself eating simply because I had the points to use, not because I was actually hungry. Core also gives you 35 flex points per week, so if you want to eat something that's not a core food, you are still able to do that, within reason.
So the reason I was afraid of it was because I feel like if I knew when to stop when I was no longer hungry (vs. being full--that's very different!), I wouldn't weigh what I weigh now. This also changes pretty much my whole menu. Right now I do eat quite a few processed foods. Things that are quick and easy--frozen meals, 100 cal packs, etc. Core seems like a lot more "clean" eating. It also seems like a lot of work to learn the new program. But I think that's what I need. I need to focus on learning something new instead of being stuck in a comfortable spot.
I haven't been to a meeting in 2 weeks because of my trip. I will be going on Tuesday, and I am quite afraid. To be honest, I feel like I've probably gained like 10 pounds. That's what happens though when you dont' lead a healthy lifestyle. So, here's to trying something new...
If anyone that reads me is doing core or has tried it, could you please provide me with some encouragement or words of wisdom about the program? I'm going into this one blind!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Check In
Today was a really good day. I am happy that I can say that, despite the scale saying that I am 2.6 pounds up this week. I had a good week, and while I didn't do everything I committed to (hey, where were the people hounding me about it?!), I am still happy with how it turned out. This is the weigh-in that falls at the tail end of my period, and no matter how good I do that week, I never quite see the results that you would anticipate. I know that though, and I will not let a number define my mood.
After weighing in, I came home & changed and hit the streets for day 2 of c25k. Today I actually did the 60/90 jog/walk rotation. Let me tell you, 60 seconds is a long time to run when you weigh 275 pounds and haven't run in about 5 years. After about 3 times jogging, I felt DEAD. I wanted to go home. I looked at the clock, and it had only been like 8 minutes! Out of 20! And then the next song in rotation started on my mp3 player. It's a song by Jimmy Eat World that always puts me in a good mood. It's got a good beat, a good tempo, I just like it. And the first lines of the song were perfect.
Are you gonna live your life wondering,
Standing in the back, looking around?
Are you gonna waste your life thinking,
How you've grown up, or how you've missed out?
And so I started jogging again. And I finished.
Let me tell you, my knees ache, and walking up 3 flights of stairs after that jog was rough, but I did it. Another sticker on the calendar!
After my jog, I made dinner--stuffed burgers. I made 5 and froze 6. I ate 2 for dinner (2 points each) with some potatoes and veggies. Then I headed to the grocery store. Heck, I figured I was on a roll, might as well get some healthy food while I'm at it. I start my second job tomorrow, so I will have to pack two meals in the morning to eat while at work. So I decided to give homemade veggie soup a try. I've never made it before, and I didn't follow a recipe, so we'll see how it turns out. This is what I used:
Lean beef (a package of stew meat all ready cut, score!)
Carrots
Celery
1 large potato
Frozen Corn
Frozen Green Beans
Cabbage
Onion
1 can diced tomatoes (no salt added)
4 cups low sodium, fat free beef broth
1 tbsp garlic
I didn't add any other seasonings at this point, because I want to taste what the blend of veggies tastes like. I also tried to make this as low sodium as possible because while soup can be a really great low-point food, it can be really HIGH in sodium, which bloats me up & makes me retain water like no other! I put all that good stuff in the crock pot, and it's going to cook all night while I sleep in my comfy bed! Then tomorrow morning, I'll have soup for the next several days! I'll have to take a picture!
I'm really ready to be 100% on track with WW. I have only been about 70% on track for quite awhile now. And while that does give me results some of the time, it's not the results I could be achieving. I need to write down every single thing that goes in my mouth, like I was in the beginning, and I also need to continue with the activity. Exercising two times this week is amazing for me. I'm lucky if I exercise two times a month. I plan to do my third day of c25k on Friday, which is my day off. I'd also like to go to the gym for some strength training that day too if I've got time. Screw that, I'll make the time!
What do YOU commit to this week?
After weighing in, I came home & changed and hit the streets for day 2 of c25k. Today I actually did the 60/90 jog/walk rotation. Let me tell you, 60 seconds is a long time to run when you weigh 275 pounds and haven't run in about 5 years. After about 3 times jogging, I felt DEAD. I wanted to go home. I looked at the clock, and it had only been like 8 minutes! Out of 20! And then the next song in rotation started on my mp3 player. It's a song by Jimmy Eat World that always puts me in a good mood. It's got a good beat, a good tempo, I just like it. And the first lines of the song were perfect.
Are you gonna live your life wondering,
Standing in the back, looking around?
Are you gonna waste your life thinking,
How you've grown up, or how you've missed out?
And so I started jogging again. And I finished.
Let me tell you, my knees ache, and walking up 3 flights of stairs after that jog was rough, but I did it. Another sticker on the calendar!
After my jog, I made dinner--stuffed burgers. I made 5 and froze 6. I ate 2 for dinner (2 points each) with some potatoes and veggies. Then I headed to the grocery store. Heck, I figured I was on a roll, might as well get some healthy food while I'm at it. I start my second job tomorrow, so I will have to pack two meals in the morning to eat while at work. So I decided to give homemade veggie soup a try. I've never made it before, and I didn't follow a recipe, so we'll see how it turns out. This is what I used:
Lean beef (a package of stew meat all ready cut, score!)
Carrots
Celery
1 large potato
Frozen Corn
Frozen Green Beans
Cabbage
Onion
1 can diced tomatoes (no salt added)
4 cups low sodium, fat free beef broth
1 tbsp garlic
I didn't add any other seasonings at this point, because I want to taste what the blend of veggies tastes like. I also tried to make this as low sodium as possible because while soup can be a really great low-point food, it can be really HIGH in sodium, which bloats me up & makes me retain water like no other! I put all that good stuff in the crock pot, and it's going to cook all night while I sleep in my comfy bed! Then tomorrow morning, I'll have soup for the next several days! I'll have to take a picture!
I'm really ready to be 100% on track with WW. I have only been about 70% on track for quite awhile now. And while that does give me results some of the time, it's not the results I could be achieving. I need to write down every single thing that goes in my mouth, like I was in the beginning, and I also need to continue with the activity. Exercising two times this week is amazing for me. I'm lucky if I exercise two times a month. I plan to do my third day of c25k on Friday, which is my day off. I'd also like to go to the gym for some strength training that day too if I've got time. Screw that, I'll make the time!
What do YOU commit to this week?
Monday, March 10, 2008
Move it
Yesterday was the whole "set your clocks forward" situation. I can never remember if that's Daylight Savings Time, or if that means DST is ending... at any rate, it means it stays light outside for longer in the evening. So yesterday evening at about 7, I had nothing to do, and I thought I'd go for a walk. It wasn't too cold outside. I had on a long-sleeved shirt, pants, gloves, and a scarf, and I was comfy. I walked for about 5 minutes, and then something happened.
The spirit moved me!
I JOGGED.
Yes, you can pick your jaw up off the floor now!
I am participating in a 5K in June, and another friend of mine online is going to participate with me. She had left me a message saying she was starting the c25k training this week. I read that comment right before I left for my walk, and I thought about it while I was walking. I couldn't remember what amounts of time I was supposed to jog/walk for the first week, since I didn't go on this walk prepared to train. So, I just set my own amount & stuck with it. I jogged for 30 sec, walked for 60. When I got home and looked at the schedule, I saw that week one is actually 60/90, but oh well. I still freaking JOGGED.
A few months ago, back in my early WW days, I was walking consistently in the mornings before work. There was one entry I wrote about where I decided to jog, and I was able to for about a block before feeling like I was gonna die. Let me just tell you that it was SO much easier this time!!! It did get harder as I got near the end of my session, but I kept going regardless. I didn't keep track of the time, but my estimate is that I did this for about 15-20 min, plus a warm up/cool down for a few minutes on each end. It's a start though!
I will admit, my joints are a little sore today. Specifically my knees. I didn't notice it until I went down the stairs on my way to work today. But it's OK, it's a good ache.
The spirit moved me!
I JOGGED.
Yes, you can pick your jaw up off the floor now!
I am participating in a 5K in June, and another friend of mine online is going to participate with me. She had left me a message saying she was starting the c25k training this week. I read that comment right before I left for my walk, and I thought about it while I was walking. I couldn't remember what amounts of time I was supposed to jog/walk for the first week, since I didn't go on this walk prepared to train. So, I just set my own amount & stuck with it. I jogged for 30 sec, walked for 60. When I got home and looked at the schedule, I saw that week one is actually 60/90, but oh well. I still freaking JOGGED.
A few months ago, back in my early WW days, I was walking consistently in the mornings before work. There was one entry I wrote about where I decided to jog, and I was able to for about a block before feeling like I was gonna die. Let me just tell you that it was SO much easier this time!!! It did get harder as I got near the end of my session, but I kept going regardless. I didn't keep track of the time, but my estimate is that I did this for about 15-20 min, plus a warm up/cool down for a few minutes on each end. It's a start though!
I will admit, my joints are a little sore today. Specifically my knees. I didn't notice it until I went down the stairs on my way to work today. But it's OK, it's a good ache.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Holy Crap
So someone left me a comment on my last entry about how I have less "junk in the trunk" as they do. And I chuckled, b/c I thought "You obviously haven't SEEN all the junk I've got!!!" So I pulled out my "before" picture... I don't look at it often. And I see my MAMMOUTH ass. That's still what I envision it as.
Then I compared it to the pics I posted yesterday.
And my jaw dropped.
That may have been what I needed to get me past this mental battle. The proof is right there! I really AM making progress, and 50 pounds DOES make a difference. Wow, was pretty much all I could say. Wow.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Good week.
I didn't end up weighing in on Tuesday because of the weather. We had a big winter storm advisory, and it took me 30 minutes just to get to my apartment from work, when it usually takes me 10. By the time I got home, I was all ready late for the meeting. So, I went to a Thursday evening meeting instead.
Last week I gained .6 but this week I lost 2.4, which more than makes up for that gain last week! I am currently at -53.8 pounds! It's tradition for my friend Melissa and I to call one another after our WW meetings. She lives a couple hours away, so we don't attend meetings together obviously, but we still encourage each other & talk about how we're doing w/our plan. So, I called her and we had a good talk. When people tell me how amazing it is that I've lost over 50 pounds, I don't really hear them. But this time, I did. She told me "Teale, that is SO good, can you believe it?!!?" And she's right, I need to start believing it. I told her how I doubt myself, and I'm just kind of waiting for it to stop working. But the fact is, as long as I hold up my end of the deal, the program is going to hold up it's end of the deal.
I had the day off work today, and another friend and I went shopping. It's funny how I enjoy shopping a lot more now that I have more choices. This is both a good and bad thing... good for the self esteem, bad for the wallet! Maurices had all these cute spring outfits out, and I was sucked in! I found a cute pair of capri khaki-type pants and a shirt to go with it... see for yourself!
But the excitement doesn't end there... my friend tried on a cute pair of jean capris that I really loved. She tried them on in a 20, which I knew would be too small for me, but I didn't want to search through the store to find 22s, so I told her to let me try them on so I could at least get an idea of what they'd look like on me & see how far I was from being in 20s. Take a look for yourself how far I am from being in them:
I BOUGHT A PAIR OF FREAKING 20S!!!!! (please excuse the blurriness!)
I am the incredible shrinking woman!!!
I tried a new recipe the other night... taco soup. I'll post a picture & the recipe soon!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Stuff
I've begun "blogging" from work again. What I mean, is that I write an email to myself, send it, then when I get home on my computer where I can actually access my blog, I post it. Haha, fooled you websense blog blocker!
Anyway, it's 7am, and I am committing to having a 100% on plan day. Today is my usual WW day. Last week I went on Friday b/c Tuesday I had other plans. I think that I may just go & opt not to weigh in. I have mixed feelings on this though. The fact is, I had a crappy weekend, I ate my weight in movie theater popcorn, candy, etc, and I'm paying for it now. I imagine that most of the gain is as a result of the sodium... however, the fact is, I made the decision to eat crappy, and I should probably face the music. I really just would hate to "lose" my 50 pound accomplishment. Another option would be to wait until Friday and go to that meeting again... that way it's been a whole week since my last WI. Like I said... I have mixed feelings.
I've been inspired to try the Couch to 5K program (c25k). One of my resolutions was to participate (notice the word choice--not "run") in a 5K. I am going to do the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in June. This may sound strange to some, but I would rather run outside than run at the gym on the treadmill. I know some people don't like the thought of running in public w/cars driving by... but at least after they drive by, they're GONE. At the gym, not so much. Problem is, it's pretty crappy weather here! I'm also curious... for any of you that have done this program before... how do you know when it's time to switch from jogging to walking, without staring at a stopwatch the whole time?
New foods:
I picked up some hummus the other day while roaming about the store. I like hummus, but I'm kind of particular. I got the Athenos brand, just the regular kind. It's OK, but not my favorite. I think I might try to make my own sometime, but we'll see.
I also picked up some Fiber One bars. I'd heard great things about them, that they're super tasty & they've got like 1/3 of your daily fiber in them. They're supposed to be really filling for only 2 points. The part about them being tasty is true... I got the Oats & Caramel kind, and it's delicious... but they give me HORRIBLE cramps! And gas. Does this happen to anyone else? Is this something that my body will just "get used to"?
Cooking:
Tonight I will make my stuffed burgers. They make 10-11 patties, so I freeze them & have several meals out of it! I think today after work I'll go to the store & get stuff to make taco soup, then tomorrow while I'm at work it can cook! I may wait til Thursday on that one though. I have some frozen chicken breasts in the fridge that I'm going to do something with too... Anybody got some good recipes/ideas for some tasty chicken? Maybe even something that I can freeze leftovers of?
*edit* So I forgot to lay the frozen hamburger out tonight... I guess it will be a lean cuisine & a salad tonight. Burgers tomorrow!
OK, That's about it for now!
Anyway, it's 7am, and I am committing to having a 100% on plan day. Today is my usual WW day. Last week I went on Friday b/c Tuesday I had other plans. I think that I may just go & opt not to weigh in. I have mixed feelings on this though. The fact is, I had a crappy weekend, I ate my weight in movie theater popcorn, candy, etc, and I'm paying for it now. I imagine that most of the gain is as a result of the sodium... however, the fact is, I made the decision to eat crappy, and I should probably face the music. I really just would hate to "lose" my 50 pound accomplishment. Another option would be to wait until Friday and go to that meeting again... that way it's been a whole week since my last WI. Like I said... I have mixed feelings.
I've been inspired to try the Couch to 5K program (c25k). One of my resolutions was to participate (notice the word choice--not "run") in a 5K. I am going to do the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in June. This may sound strange to some, but I would rather run outside than run at the gym on the treadmill. I know some people don't like the thought of running in public w/cars driving by... but at least after they drive by, they're GONE. At the gym, not so much. Problem is, it's pretty crappy weather here! I'm also curious... for any of you that have done this program before... how do you know when it's time to switch from jogging to walking, without staring at a stopwatch the whole time?
New foods:
I picked up some hummus the other day while roaming about the store. I like hummus, but I'm kind of particular. I got the Athenos brand, just the regular kind. It's OK, but not my favorite. I think I might try to make my own sometime, but we'll see.
I also picked up some Fiber One bars. I'd heard great things about them, that they're super tasty & they've got like 1/3 of your daily fiber in them. They're supposed to be really filling for only 2 points. The part about them being tasty is true... I got the Oats & Caramel kind, and it's delicious... but they give me HORRIBLE cramps! And gas. Does this happen to anyone else? Is this something that my body will just "get used to"?
Cooking:
Tonight I will make my stuffed burgers. They make 10-11 patties, so I freeze them & have several meals out of it! I think today after work I'll go to the store & get stuff to make taco soup, then tomorrow while I'm at work it can cook! I may wait til Thursday on that one though. I have some frozen chicken breasts in the fridge that I'm going to do something with too... Anybody got some good recipes/ideas for some tasty chicken? Maybe even something that I can freeze leftovers of?
*edit* So I forgot to lay the frozen hamburger out tonight... I guess it will be a lean cuisine & a salad tonight. Burgers tomorrow!
OK, That's about it for now!
Monday, March 3, 2008
It's time...
It's time to get my head back on straight regarding my weight watchers plan. I have been just scooting along at the bare minimum since about Thanksgiving. I've continued to lose, for the most part, but I'm not giving it my all.
My main battle is completely mental. I never thought I'd get to 50 pounds lost, and then I did. The problem though has been that I don't actually envision myself at my goal weight. I saw 50 pounds as this huge hurdle, but I didn't plan for what I'd do once I crossed that line. So for right now, my goal is to get into the 250s. I haven't been in the 250s in YEARS. When I did WW the first time (successfully), I lost 30-some pounds, which put me in the 260s. At that point, I was thrilled, cuz I hadn't been to that point in ages either. But I never made it to the 250s. So, 250s, you are mine!!!
My other battle that I face off with is the gym. I have just been refusing to go, period. It's my responsibility to prioritize, and it doesn't matter if I worked 10 hours that day or not...it's my decision to go home and be lazy and sit in front of the tv, or go to the gym for 30 minutes and get some exercise. Noone is in control of that situation but me. And the fact is, if I don't go to the gym, I'm not going to see the results that I could potentialy see. I know there are others out there struggling with this... or they feel like maybe they're on a plateau. But ask yourself: what is it that I could be doing that I'm not? And for me, that is exercise!
I had a .6 gain on Friday when I weighed in. I expected it. I fear going tomorrow night though. I'm certain it's another gain. I did well during the week... but my weekend was not so good. Drinks, movie popcorn, mexican food, deep dish pizza... ugh. I did, however, resist buying a bag of chocolate when I went to the store w/a friend the other day. She was buying some candy, and I picked up a bag of Reese's... then I thought about it & put it back on the shelf. Big behavior modification there!
So this is the plan for this week. Please help keep me accountable.
1. Get exercise 4 days this week. Whether it's going to the gym, going for a walk, or doing a DVD workout at home. I will get some form of movement 4 days.
2. Cook! I will cook 3 times this week. One of those times will be a recipe I haven't yet tried before. (I'm thinking taco soup... yum!)
3. Blog at least twice.
4. Remind myself daily that I am working towards my next goal of being in the 250s. That is about 17 pounds to go.
5. Write down my food every day (and maybe record it here, just for accountability)
Do you gals have a plan for the week?
My main battle is completely mental. I never thought I'd get to 50 pounds lost, and then I did. The problem though has been that I don't actually envision myself at my goal weight. I saw 50 pounds as this huge hurdle, but I didn't plan for what I'd do once I crossed that line. So for right now, my goal is to get into the 250s. I haven't been in the 250s in YEARS. When I did WW the first time (successfully), I lost 30-some pounds, which put me in the 260s. At that point, I was thrilled, cuz I hadn't been to that point in ages either. But I never made it to the 250s. So, 250s, you are mine!!!
My other battle that I face off with is the gym. I have just been refusing to go, period. It's my responsibility to prioritize, and it doesn't matter if I worked 10 hours that day or not...it's my decision to go home and be lazy and sit in front of the tv, or go to the gym for 30 minutes and get some exercise. Noone is in control of that situation but me. And the fact is, if I don't go to the gym, I'm not going to see the results that I could potentialy see. I know there are others out there struggling with this... or they feel like maybe they're on a plateau. But ask yourself: what is it that I could be doing that I'm not? And for me, that is exercise!
I had a .6 gain on Friday when I weighed in. I expected it. I fear going tomorrow night though. I'm certain it's another gain. I did well during the week... but my weekend was not so good. Drinks, movie popcorn, mexican food, deep dish pizza... ugh. I did, however, resist buying a bag of chocolate when I went to the store w/a friend the other day. She was buying some candy, and I picked up a bag of Reese's... then I thought about it & put it back on the shelf. Big behavior modification there!
So this is the plan for this week. Please help keep me accountable.
1. Get exercise 4 days this week. Whether it's going to the gym, going for a walk, or doing a DVD workout at home. I will get some form of movement 4 days.
2. Cook! I will cook 3 times this week. One of those times will be a recipe I haven't yet tried before. (I'm thinking taco soup... yum!)
3. Blog at least twice.
4. Remind myself daily that I am working towards my next goal of being in the 250s. That is about 17 pounds to go.
5. Write down my food every day (and maybe record it here, just for accountability)
Do you gals have a plan for the week?
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