Day One.

I am considering today to be day one. The past month has been a rollercoaster, as far as WW is concerned. I have gained, lost, gained, lost, gained... I have made hardly any progress this last month, as far as my weight is concerned. I am only .4 pounds less than I was one month ago. However, the silver lining, in my mind, is that I am not any heavier. I survived the holidays, and I have a loss (although minor) to show for it. This was my first attempt at being on WW for Thanksgiving & Christmas. I know now what I can do better and what things didn't work. I am learning.

With that said, though, holidays shouldn't be an excuse to be lax about things... and I let them. I haven't recorded my food in at LEAST a month. Journaling is something that I need to do so that I am really aware of what I'm eating. A bite here, a bite there, really adds up. I need to be accountable. So, as my mom used to tell me growing up:

If at first you don't succeed, try try again.

So, that's what I'm doing.

I went to the gym last night (after a 3 pound gain at WW--putting me down 35.4 overall) for the first time in ages. I ran for 20 minutes, walked for 15. It's a start! This morning I got breakfast at work & recorded it on my online tracker, and instead of getting a diet mountain dew like I usually do, I got a water. It's noon, but I'm not really too hungry yet, so I'm not heading to lunch. I am trying to pay more attention to my body & what it tells me, rather than what I think I need.

I know a lot of people make new year's resolutions to lose weight, exercise, etc. I make a list of things I want to accomplish every year, and among the things on that list are the following:

Exercise. Even if I only exercised once per week, that would be more than I did in 2007, so that's my goal.

Wear 20s. I am currently pretty consistently in 22s in pants. I've never been in 20s (except on my way up!), so I'm not sure how much more I'd have to lose to get there... Ideally I'd like to be in 18s, but I didn't want my goal to be too lofty.

Celebrate my WW anniversary. I've never stuck to the plan for longer than about 6 months in the past. I would like to celebrate 1 year on the program this coming August.

What are your goals for 2008?

Shall we compare?

Friday night I was invited to go ice skating. I have been ice skating once in my life, and I was about 9... certainly smaller than I am these days. I was actually quite unsure if I would be physically able to sustain trips around and around the rink. It's quite a vigorous exercise! I also had no clue how I would actually WALK in the skates, as I saw skinny people struggling with their balance & trying not to roll their ankles. I thought what the hell though... I certainly wouldn't know if I could do it or not unless I tried.

I got all decked out in a cute little festive outfit and decided it was a "pretty" night, so I took a self-portrait. Seeing a picture of yourself where you think "wow, that person is pretty" is certainly a self-esteem boost! And I needed that before my adventures in ice skating.

I get my skates & go to lace them up & am reminded why I do not use my rollerblades: fat ankles/calves. I can't wear my rollerblades b/c they are too tight on my lower calf & it's very painful... I was worried that my skates would be similarly painful, but I adjusted things and we seemed to be good to go. We get out on the ice, and it was so terrifying! I was worried that the first step out there I'd fall on my booty. It took some getting used to, but I did it! I took a break from time to time... and it was a good hour before I even fell:) The first fall was no big deal... I knew I was going to fall before it even happened, and I laughed about it quite a bit. I noticed while I was out there that I was in fact the largest person on the ice... but the fact of the matter was, I was on the ice!

It was about time to go, and I was heading towards the exit from the ice... I was going at quite a pace, when suddenly my feet flew out from under me and I fell HARD on my tailbone... all 288 pounds, BAM! Pain shot down my legs & up my back & I knew that was gonna hurt in the morning! Unfortunately it's been about 48 hours & I'm still in excrutiating pain whenever I sit or move a certain way. I probably bruised my tailbone (if that's possible?) and it's gonna be sore for awhile. I don't care though. I did something I didn't think I could do!

And now for the comparison that I mentioned in my title... I wanted to post the cute picture of me from Friday night & compare it to an old picture of me... about 40 pounds heavier.

Great week!

This past week was totally back on track. I was just completely with it and on my mark. I still indulged in some holiday goodies, but I accomodated for them. My confidence was just at an all-time high. First I had my amazing dress fitting, then the very next day I saw a classmate from high school, and he commented to me that I looked really amazing & had lost a lot of weight since he'd seen me last. It's always really nice to hear that from someone that doesn't know that you're making a conscious effort. Especially someone that I didn't ever expect to mention something like that.

So when I went to my meeting last night, I expected to do well. Some weeks you're just not sure. But this week, I knew that I worked hard... but the thing is, I didn't really care what the scale had to say. I had such a great NSV week that the lower number on the scale would just be the icing on the cake, so to speak. So imagine my delight when I stepped on the scale and was down another 5.4 pounds! Not only does that totally eliminate the gain that I had 2 weeks in a row after thanksgiving (I had gained 4.8 over 2 week's time, and last week lost 2.8 of it, still leaving me 2 pounds up overall), but it also puts me in my next weight decade, the 280s!

I feel like my new job is really helping me stay focused. Not only am I on my feet walking for about half the day, but I don't have a lot of down time to mindlessly snack. I eat in our cafeteria every day, and I've successfully stayed away from the deep-fried items that you could get in the grill line. Most days I get a lunchmeat sandwich on a croissant and whatever soup of the day is. Once in awhile I'll get a snack in the afternoons, either popcorn or lowfat frozen yogurt. Then by the time I get home, it's time to start dinner, so I don't have time to just sit around & eat needlessly. Last night, I even left food on my plate b/c I wasn't hungry anymore. That's a big task for me. Usually if something tastes good, I just keep on eating it until it's gone. But not last night!

Sometimes we all have our little hurdles to get over, and sometimes we fall a time or two when we try to get across... but man, getting over those hurdles & roadblocks sure feels great after the fact!

Fantastic-ness

Today was a really big day for me, it was my first dress fitting for the wedding. That's a really special day for a girl, to get to put everything on, from shoes to veil, and see what you will look like the first time your husband sees you on your wedding day. It was very emotional, but in an incredibly good way.

Not only was seeing the whole package put together amazing, but the fact that my dress was like a pillowcase on me was also amazing. I've lost about 40 pounds since I bought my dress, but I don't see much of a difference when I look in the mirror. I just see me. I guess I just don't think about the fact that I am wearing dress pants that are 2 sizes smaller than I was about a year ago... I just see myself the same way as I always have.

But tonight, seeing myself floating around in a dress that once fit me perfectly, it was unbelievable. For the first time I felt really proud of myself about eating healthy & changing my life. I could pull the dress out in the back probably 5 inches.

And the staff at David's Bridal were AMAZING. They allowed me to exchange my dress for a size smaller! I also was able to exchange my corset/bra thing, cuz I certainly don't fill that thing out anymore. The size smaller dress was actually a little bit big, but I probably couldn't have gone down another size. In late January, I'll get it taken in, rather than do it now & then possibly
have to pay for it to be done again later.

It was a wonderful night... if I'm this excited/emotional about my stinking dress fitting, I have no idea how I'll make it down the aisle on March 22nd w/o bawling my eyes out.

On the road again...

.... the road to weight loss, that is! Cheesy, I know.

Anyway, last night was WW. I had a fairly good week. I journaled *almost* every day, which was a big step from not journaling at all in the previous 2 weeks! I didn't get to the gym, but I did start a new job in which I'm walking quite a bit each day, so that's a big change from sitting all day. My WI last night was good. In the past 2 weeks, I had gains totalling 4.8 pounds. Last night I lost 2.8, so now I'm only up 2 pounds... this is good!

This week was what they call "conversion week" at WW, which is when they get all their new materials for the coming year. So, we all got the new week 1 material to motivate/inspire us. They also have their new food guide/dining out guide, so I picked up a starter kit that has those, a 3-month journal, a recipe book, and some coupons, all in a bag. It's exciting to have new material to look at, because after I think 10 weeks, you no longer get weekly materials.

I've been on here much less since I started my new job... at my last job, I could jump on the computer whenever I wanted & read/update, but at this job, I'm not able to get onto this site at all. So, I hope everyone is doing well with their goals!

As Expected

Well, I went for my WI tonight. I knew it wouldn't be good. I've had 2 straight weeks of being mostly off-plan. Last week's gain was small, so I figured I'd pay for it eventually. I also switched from a morning WI to a night WI which does make a difference (although I reaped the benefits of the difference when I went from PM to AM!).

It was bad.

I was up 4 pounds.

The reasons I was up 4 pounds are:
--I haven't eaten healthy foods
--I haven't journaled
--I haven't been drinking my water
--I haven't exercised

You get the idea. I am taking full responsibility for my gain. And you know, considering I've gained almost 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks, and my goal is to LOSE weight, it's time to get back on that horse!

Today my eating has been much better. I could improve certain things, but it's been a great change from the past couple weeks.

Breakfast: milk & WW muffin
Snack: mini-croissant w/preserves
Lunch: chicken quesadilla w/lettuce, sour cream & guacamole
Snack: chex mix & animal crackers
Dinner: 2 tacos & WW dessert

I've had about 5 glasses of water today, big improvement from ZERO!

So now I'm sitting watching the biggest loser for some motivation & I'm about to catch up on ALL of your blogs once this is posted. I fear that some of you may have ditched me since I've been such a bad blog buddy. Or maybe some of you are just MIA recently too... who knows!

Keep up the good work, everyone!

Blah

So ever since my Alabama trip, I have NOT been able to get back on track. But, bottom line is I have to.

The fact of the matter: I've been exceptionally lazy. I haven't journaled, I haven't cooked, I haven't gone to the gym.

I will not let this slump continue beyond yesterday. Today I was back on track. Tomorrow I will anticipate a gain, and that's what I deserve, because I haven't stayed on plan. I also am going from a morning WI to an evening WI, which would mean a slight fluctuation in my weight anyway. Tomorrow I'll face the music, and that will be that.

My future mother-in-law sent me some pictures from Thanksgiving... there was one of me that I didn't know was being taken. It was while we were all in line for food. I actually thought "wow, you look skinnier!" when I saw it. The sweater I'm wearing is 1/2 of the outfit that I bought for meeting my 10% goal.

Here you have it:

I'm sorry I haven't been reading & encouraging all of you. I am going to make a better effort at that as well. You gals are great, and I can't wait to see all of you reach your goals!

Time to get back on track.

Well folks, I've been away from the blogging world for about a week, and I've also been away from the WW plan for about that long. I wouldn't use the phrase "fell off the wagon", because I was still conscious about my decisions, I just didn't always have the opportunity to make good ones. I will admit that in focusing so much on my Thanksgiving plan, I completely failed to think about my "5 days away from home" plan. That's 5 days of meals out, 5 days of no exercise, etc.

I started out strong. We left Tuesday night & got Sonic on the road. I got a grilled chicken sandwich & a cherry slush. The slush was a splurge, but I had the points & wanted a treat. When we stopped at a gas station for snacks, I got chex mix, and the bag lasted me the whole time we were there. Wednesday, I started the day w/a granola bar, then lunch was at Waffle House. I got a lite wafffle & scrambled eggs. Dinner that night was Taco Bell & I got a spicy chicken burrito. No snacks throughout the day, I was feeling pretty good about the choices I made.... I felt I did the best I could.

Thursday.... Thanksgiving. Granola bar for breakfast, goldfish & chex mix for snacks.... dinner at 4. I think I did pretty well. I ate some turkey & some ham, corn, veggie casserole, a small bit of stuffing, a small bit of mac & cheese, and a roll. I did get 2nds of corn. I had the smallest slice of Hummingbird Cake that I was able to slice (it's a 3-layer spice cake w/pineapple & bananas in it & homemade cream cheese frosting). That slice was probably the same amount of points of my whole dinner, but it's OK. I remember eating a snack later that night, but I don't recall what it was.

Friday, things stopped being so on-plan. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, then we got barbeque for lunch, which wasn't so bad b/c the sauce down there isn't tomato based & sugary, it's vinegar based. I had a sandwich for lunch & another one for dinner. I also had a bit of ham as a snack. Then I had another slice of cake after dinner. No veggies, no water, yuck.

Saturday.... ugh. Iron Bowl day. (football rivalry game... big deal in Alabama!). We slept until like 1, then ate at Zaxby's... which is my favorite southern fast food.... and not healthy. I had chicken fingers & onion peels. Probably 20+ points, at least. Then there was the beer. I think I drank 10 light beers. No, I'm not normally an alcoholic. This was the first time I'd been drunk in ages. We also had hotdogs & hamburgers.... I had a burger & 2 hotdogs throughout the night. Then while drunk, I binged on Doritos. Saturday was not a good day.

Sunday I had a ham sandwich, then on the road we got Burger King. I didn't even try to eat healthy there. I got chicken fries, onion rings, and a piece of peppermint pie. I felt miserable the whole ride home b/c of all that junk. Yuck. I also had a peanut butter twix on the road.

The confessions don't end there. They should, but they don't. When I got home Monday, I should have been 100% back on track.... but, the past 3 days have also been pretty crappy. I can't even remember Monday.... I know I made spaghetti for dinner & had too much garlic bread. Tuesday was a pizza overload and a skipped WW meeting, then yesterday wasn't BAD, but wasn't good.

But the important thing at the end of all of this is that this morning, I woke up, got on the computer to find a WW meeting, and went.

Friends, please remember this.... no matter how badly you have done (if you have a bad day, a bad weekend, a bad week), nothing will make it better but getting back on track. If you don't get back on track, it will not magically get better on its own, odds are, the situation will only become worse.

So, today is day one back on track. I vow to have a completely on plan day today. I will drink my water, I will eat well. I will try to get to the gym this evening. But the most important thing is that I am here and I'm making an effort.

More success! (LG08)

Today was my WI. last week I hit 32 pounds lost, so I thought it would be great if I lost 3 more this week to get another 5 pound star. I wasn't sure if I would pull it off since I had a big loss last week.... but I did! I am currently 292.6 which is almost in the 280s! Can you believe it? Just a couple weeks ago I was wondering when I'd ever be in the 290s, and here I am almost out of the 290s all ready!

I am truly learning to make good choices... not because that's what is less points, but because that is what sounds better these days! Last week, a coworker wanted to go to a chinese buffet. Those are two words that make a weight watcher cringe! First of all, chinese isn't the healthiest (I know some things are, but in general), but then a buffet? The possibility to eat endless amounts of food for the same price? But I did really really well. I got only a couple bites of some of my favorite dishes, I avoided egg rolls & crab rangoon, and while I did make 2 trips, I left half of the stuff on my plate each time. If I didn't love it, I didn't eat it. Then today, that same coworker wanted Jimmy Johns (sub sandwich place). Most sandwiches there are between 15-20 points. I had the points for it, but it just didn't seem worth it to me, didn't sound extremely appetizing. So I got their lettuce wrap instead of the sub bread. It was delicious! It cut probably 8 or so points off of my meal, and I didn't even miss the bread. Plus I got an extra veggie serving in that way!

I realized that in all my worries regarding Thanksgiving at someone else's, I completely forgot to plan for the fact that I'm going to be away from home for 5 days & may be eating fast food or food prepared by someone else! I need a plan! I am taking granola bars & 100 cal packs for breakfasts and snacks. Lunches out I can work with. I can make healthy choices. Then dinners will just have to be whatever is prepared, in moderation. I will load up on veggies (hopefully there will be some!), then eat the rest in small amounts. I can definately do this. I am determined not to have a gain next week just because of a trip & a holiday.

How is everyone else doing? I apologize to some of you that have commented me & I haven't made it to your blog yet. Comment me on this entry & I promise to visit yours!

Little Teale Rant.

While I understand that everyone will not feel the same way as me, this is just my opinion about what is right for me.

I hate when people tell me "go ahead and indulge, you deserve it" or "you've been doing so well, one day won't hurt your progress" or "you should treat yourself, it's a special occasion".

Specifically I'm talking about Thanksgiving, but it can apply to a variety of situations--birthdays, holidays, eating out, etc. I understand that some people "treat" themselves with food on special occasions. That simply is not logical for me. I became over 300 pounds from a lot of days treating & rewarding myself by using food. I'm obviously trying to do something about that, but it's somewhat irritating when I find people saying things that would ultimately sabotage me.

I know that the people that have said some of those things up there are not deliberately trying to say things that would make me "fall of the wagon" so to speak, but everyone's battle is different. What is good for one person is not good for another. So while "treats" might be great for others & motivation to get back on track the next day, "treats" are like a timebomb for me, how long until I "treat" myself with food for every good thing that happens? I am trying very hard not to continue associating food with emotions... and that not only means using food as comfort, but also using food as a reward.

First Thanksgiving Meal--A Success

Today was my Thanksgiving with my family. We will be spending actual Thanksgiving in Alabama w/Mike's family, so today we celebrated early. I wasn't too concerned about difficulties staying OP today, because I knew exactly what we would be having, and I was confident that I'd make good decisions.

And I'll have you know that I did quite well! I only had a granola bar before our big meal.... it wasn't that I was trying to starve until our late lunch, but I was literally cooking the whole time!

So, here was what was on my plate:

Turkey (2 points)
Potatoes (3 points)
Sweet Potatoes (1 point)
Corn (2 points)
Stuffing (2 points)
Gravy (1 point)
Green Bean Casserole (1 point)
1/2 Roll (1 point)
Pumpkin Fluff (1 point)
Mini Pumpkin Tarts (1 point)
Grand Total: 15 points

Considering that I get 36 points per day, that was less than half my day... VERY successful!

The pumpkin tarts mentioned above.... they were a last minute concoction. When I was buying cool whip at the store, they had these little phyllo dough cups next to the cool whip in the freezer section... they were pretty small, only 15 to a package, and they held 1-2 tbsp of the pumpkin fluff... so I made those in addition to my plain pumpkin fluff. There were some left over, and I'm going to try microwaving them for a few seconds to see what they'd be like warm. Very yummy! I will also consider using those phyllo cups for other appetizers. They're 35 calories for 2 cups. Not too bad!

Progress pictures

I just posted new progress pics in my picture blog. See it here

Pumpkin Recipes

I haven't tried either of these, but I've heard rave reviews about them both!

Pumpkin Fluff
8 servings/1 point each

16 oz. canned pumpkin (NOT pie filling)
1 container fat free cool whip
1 small box sf/ff butterscotch pudding

1. Combine pumpkin & pudding.
2. Gently fold in the cool whip.
3. Add cinnamon, splenda, or pumpkin pie spice if desired.

*******
This following recipe was listed on a random site, and was listed as only 1 point per slice. They also had whole eggs, but when I plugged it into my recipe builder, I got more than 1 point per slice. Even after changing the whole eggs to egg beaters, it came to 2 points, so that's what I'm going with!

Pumpkin "Pie"
8 servings/2 points each

15 oz canned pumpkin
5 oz fat free evaporated milk
3/4 c. splenda for baking
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 c. egg beaters

Combine all ingredients & pour in a pie pan sprayed w/cooking spray. Bake at 375 degrees for 35 minutes.

Teale's Sweet Potatoes

My uncle used to always make the best sweet potato casserole when we had Thanksgiving over there. It was full of brown sugar, butter, and had loads of marshmallows on top. I looked over a variety of WW friendly sweet potato recipes, and came up w/this as my version! I haven't tried it yet, so it may need some tweaking here and there.

Teale's Sweet Potatoes
8 servings/3 points

3 large cooked sweet potatoes, mashed
1/2 c. skim milk
1/2 c. Egg Beaters
1/2 c. Splenda brown sugar blend
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
1 c. mini marshmallows

1. Combine all ingredients except marshmallows.
2. Pour into a glass baking dish or pan sprayed w/cooking spray (I will probably use a square dish or round cake pan)
3. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
4. Add marshmallows on top & bake for another 5 minutes.

Hashbrown Casserole

I have made the full-fat version of this for years, which also includes practically a whole stick of butter and about 4 cups of cheese... but not this year!

Hashbrown Casserole
12 servings/3 points

1 small onion, diced
1 c. 2% cheddar cheese
2 tbsp margarine
1/2 tsp black pepper
32 oz frozen hash browns, thawed
16 oz fat free sour cream
1 (10 oz) can 98% FF cream of chicken soup

Combine all ingredients and pour in a 13x9 baking dish sprayed w/cooking spray. Bake for 1 hour at 350 degrees

Corn Casserole

I may have posted this in the past, I can't remember... oh well! I am going to do half this recipe, and just use small cans of corn b/c only my mom & like corn, and it seems silly to make a 15-serving dish for just 2 people!

Corn Casserole
15 servings/2 points each

1 (15 1/4 oz) can corn
1 can (14 3/4 oz) cream-style corn
1 (6 serving) box corn muffin mix
1/2 c. fat free margarine
1 c. fat free sour cream

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Spray 13x9 pan w/cooking spray
3. Stir all ingredients until mixed
4. Spread into pan & bake for 35-40 minutes or until top is golden brown.

Healthy Green Bean Casserole

As promised, I'm adding some of the Thanksgiving recipes I'll be making this weekend! I was trying to figure out a good way to make Green Bean Casserole, because I love that stuff, but the French's fried onions that are usually in the casserole are a whopping 30 points per can! And when a whole can is involved, that's just not worth it to me! So, I made fried onions of my own! I haven't cooked this yet, but it sounds delicious! Really the only thing modified from the original recipe are the onions.

Healthy Green Bean Casserole
8 servings/1 point each

4 cups canned green beans, drained (I estimated on cups... 2 cans)
1 can 98% FF cream of mushroom soup
3/4 c. skim milk
1 large onion
3 tbsp flour
1/8 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp garlic powder

First we'll prepare the onions:
1. Slice the onions as thinly as you'd like, in small pieces.
2. In a ziplock bag, combine the flour, salt, peper, and garlic.
3. Add the onions a little at a time, coating them evenly.
4. Grill them in a very hot skillet sprayed with cooking spray until they are brown & crispy.

Now, for the rest:
1. Combine the green beans, milk, soup, and 3/4 of the onions in a bowl.
2. Spread into a baking dish that's sprayed w/cooking spray.
3. Bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees until heated through.
4. Add the remaining 1/4 onions on top & bake another 5 minutes.

7 entries?

I have become a super crappy blogger! When I started this blog, I wrote TONS... I had 50-some entries my first month... 30-some my 2nd month... and a pitiful 7 this month.... I must remedy this.

I'm going to post some of the thanksgiving recipes that I'll be using this weekend (when I have thanksgiving w/my family). I'll do this later today.

An interesting little tidbit of information--I hit my 10% with WW on week 13 (Tuesday). I dug out my old WW stuff from the first time I did WW, to see how my progress now compares to then. Last time I did WW, I started in the 290s, so my 10% was 29 pounds, 3 pounds less than I had to lose this time... and ironically, I hit my 10% on week 13 then too! Until I looked at those results, I had in my head that my loss was slower this week... when in fact, it's not at all! Last time, I had several weeks of bouncing back and forth... losing, gaining, losing... this time, I've had 1 gain, but lost that the following week. That's great!

I haven't been to the gym in like 2 weeks. MUST GO TONIGHT.

More later! Watch for recipes!

Big day.

I just wanted to share on here that today was a big milestone for me on the WW front.

I lost 5.8 pounds (wow!) at my meeting, which put me at 32 pounds lost on the program since 8/21/07. And incidentally, that puts me at my 10% loss. Your first goal when joining WW is to lose 10%. In my case, my weight was in the 320s, so 32 pounds was my 10%. Equally as exciting is the fact that I am very much in the 200s!!! I have been teetering around it for a couple weeks, and I'm so happy to report that I am very much in them! 295.6 to be exact!

I hope you all are doing marvelously. I will be catching up later today, I promise! I think this is exactly the jump-start I needed to get my focus back 100%. I'm so ready to lose more weight!

Oh, and a quote I've been meaning to share for awhile... my WW leader had this on the board a few weeks ago & I liked it:
"'How does one become a butterfly?' she asked pensively. 'You must want to fly so much that you're willing to give up being a caterpillar.'" --Trina Pallus

*edit* I also just realized that I get a nice new outfit since I reached my 10%! That will be perfect since I'm starting my new job in a couple weeks! I'll get a "first day of work" outfit!

Tagged

The entry before this one is a "real" entry, but I was tagged by Heather so I'm gonna do this thing... I'm supposed to write 7 random facts about me.

1. My arms don't straighten all the way. I have no idea why, but they don't. When I go to the doctor & they take my BP, they always tell me to straighten my arms, and I always have to tell them "they are". If you look at my progress pictures, you can kind of see how they look a little bent... nope, they're "straight" to me.

2. I sleep on my stomach, and I tap/shake my right foot a little bit before falling asleep. I do it kind of rhythmicly, and not too violently, just slightly. I can't sleep unless I do it.

3. I hate taking the trash out. I don't know what my deal with it is, but I absolutely hate it. I would rather do 10 loads of laundry than take the trash out. It's totally irrational.

4. I started taking piano lessons when I was in 2nd grade. My mom told me I had to take it for 2 years. So, after 2 years, I decided I didn't want to play anymore, and I was allowed to quit on the condition that I joined the school band. I decided on the saxophone. I played for 3 months & hated it. It gave me horrible headaches... so my mom told me I could quit if I took piano again. So, I re-joined piano & took lessons until I was about 16. After my dad died, I had to pretty much take care of my sister full-time, so I couldn't dedicate my time to lessons anymore. For years, I couldn't bear to play the piano b/c I associated playing (or not being able to play) w/my dad dying. I'm finally able to play again, and I have missed it!

5. In my real life, I have very few female friends... I just don't get along very well w/other women for long periods of time. I always had probably 3-5 guy friends for every 1 female friend I had. But online, I'd say 97% of the blogs I read/the blogs that read me are all female.

6. I've kept an online journal since early 2000. I no longer have that original one, and I wish I did.

7. I am really afraid of birds & squirrels. But mostly birds. I have a fear of one flying into my car, so I very rarely drive w/the windows down. When I was a kid, birds would somehow get into our basement in the wintertime, and they'd make their way up to our living area. It's humorous after the fact, but when the bird is swooping down at you while you're watching TV, it's terrifying! The image of my dad grabbing a broom and trying to "sweep" the bird out of the house is priceless. What's kind of ironic is that my mom LOVES birds... she has probably 100 porceline birds made by Lenox. When she passes away I'm going to have gobs of these damn birds.

I'm not going to tag anyone b/c this has been around here and there for awhile... but if anyone would like to do it, go for it!

Bored, or something...

Well, I guess it's my turn to suffer the "bored with the plan" feelings. Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT off plan... I'm just bored with it.

For the past couple weeks, I just haven't been trying much to eat a balanced diet, get in my water, and I've been especially horrid with exercise. I've just been sort of skating by, staying w/in my points, and that's it. I've been teetering right around 300 all week. I want to see that damn 2, so why not bust my butt? Meh, I don't know.

Well, I suppose I do know... I've been quite busy, and other things have taken priority over my 100% focus on WW.

I've been in the process of looking for a new job for a couple months now. I finally heard back from the place I had recently applied, and I had a couple interviews & was offered the job last week. I'll be starting December 3. This is a good thing for many reasons, but one of them can also relate to WW. I'll be working at a hospital, and they've got a big cafeteria w/a salad bar. This will be my lunch of choice several times a week, I'm sure. This will also keep me from going home for lunch (I wouldn't have time to get there & back in this job anyway) and eating more than I should at lunchtime.

I've also been planning a baby shower for my friend. It's on December 8. I won't have anything to do for it for a couple weeks now, but the past couple weeks have been busy w/baby shower stuff.

They've also been busy w/wedding planning stuff. Just a little over 4 months now! Mike and I went and chose tuxes for him & the guys this weekend, and we also purchased our wedding bands! That was quite exciting!

This Saturday he & I will be having Thanksgiving w/my family. I am making several things, that way I know they are WW friendly. I'll be making green bean casserole, cheese potatoes, and scalloped corn. I found healthier recipes for the traditional Thanksgiving cuisine. I may post those recipes here if anyone's interested. For the actual Thanksgiving though, it is quite worrisome. We'll be going to Alabama to spend the week/weekend (Tuesday night-Sunday night) with Mike's family. I will have absolutely NO control over what food is served to me. I will just have to eat things in moderation & fill up on the stuff that I know is good for me.

So, all of these things have distracted me, yes. They have absolutely NOT made me screw up though. I'm still making wiser decisions than I was 3 months ago. I am 26.2 pounds lighter, that's fantastic! Yesterday I was carrying a box of kitty litter up the 3 flights of stairs to our apartment. This box was SO heavy, I thought surely it weighed 50 pounds! Once I finally reached the top of the stairs & dropped the box in a huff while desperately trying to catch my breath, I looked at the weight of the litter: 21 pounds. WOW. I was carrying more than that just 3 months ago... and now carring that weight was exhausting. How I did it before, I have no idea.

But I do know that I will never do it again.

Eating out

This is a big hurdle for some people. Some complain that their weight loss efforts are roadblocked by busy schedules that force them to eat out, or socializing w/friends always surrounding food... but here'sthe thing. There is ALWAYS a healthy choice. You can find one if you try... but it does take effort sometimes. Just like anything else related to this battle, it's not always easy.

Here's some helpful hints for eating out:

1. If you know the menu of the restaurant, or they have one online, decide what you're going to get before you even leave the house. Many websites even have calorie information, so you can figure out if it fits in your plan or not.

2. Talk to your waiter. Be friendly... people are much more likely to accomodate you when you're friendly. Your food can be specially prepared--baked, broiled, not cooked in oil, etc. You just have to ask! If you aren't sure what the best way to prepare something more healthy would be, don't be afraid to ask your server what the cook could do to keep it healthy for you.

3. If you do decide to get a higher-calorie/higher-fat choice, only eat half. Either ask for a doggie bag when they bring your food out & then box up half, or ask them to not even bring out half of your food, just box it up in the kitchen. People are surprisingly willing to help you out... think about it, your server is earning a tip by being as accomodating as possible!

I went out to eat last night at a little local restaurant w/my parents. There aren't a lot of things on the menu that aren't fried... but when you read between the lines, there's always a choice... and I found a broiled cod fillet. I had that with a salad and a baked potato w/butter. I also had a dinner roll and one mozzerella stick. I took a potentially bad situation and I made a smart decision... and you can too!

Back in the habit

I decided that I was going to write in this blog today, regardless of if I had anything insightful to say. I want to get back in the habit of writing and reading other's blogs.

I'm working on my first half of today's water. I'm a little behind. Usually I have half done before lunch, but today I just forgot to fill up my water bottle, and so it sat empty on my desk for a couple hours before I even realized I should be drinking it!

I need to do laundry tonight, and I also need to go to the gym. Laundry is a workout in itself, considering I have to go up & down 4 flights of stairs to the laundry room! I'd like to do the elliptical for 20 minutes and do strength stuff for about 1/2 hour.

So far so good w/the journaling today. I didn't eat a very good breakfast. Cheese & crackers. I suppose the dairy is good, but not the best. I just wasn't in the mood for my usual breakfast foods. I am going to make my Ham & Cheese Pie that I made a couple months ago tonight, but I'm making it for breakfasts for the rest of this week. That thing is yummy!

Anyway, that's all I've got right now... hope everyone's having a good day!

Two in one week?!

Yes, friends, two entries from yours truly in only one week! Gotta get back in the blogging habit!

I had my WI today, I lost 2.6, which means I lost what I gained last week, and then some. My current weight is 301.4 so maybe, just MAYBE, next week I'll see a 2 in front of my weight.

I ate like crap today. When I'm unable to go to my usual evening meeting, I go to the 10am meeting b/c I like my leader, and she is at that one too. But, the usually means that I tend to eat like crap the rest of the day--you know, cuz the weigh in is over... even though that shouldn't matter. I guess I didn't really eat like crap... I budgeted my points for it, but I ate out twice, and I just hate doing that. I had grilled chicken & ice cream for lunch, then pizza for dinner... but I got olives, mushroom, and tomatoes on it, so at least that much was good.

My goals for this coming week are to exercise 3 times, journal everything I eat, and drink all my water for at least 6 of the 7 days. I also need to get back in the habit of finding & trying new recipes... I was on a roll there for awhile, hence the development of this blog, but then I just kind of stopped.

Here's to a great OP week!

Where have I been?

It's funny, because when I started this blog, I wrote all the time, and a couple months later, I am seriously lacking in the blog department. When I first started WW, this blog helped me w/the transition from "old lifestyle" to "new lifestyle". Now that my new lifestyle has become a way of life, it's much easier, and I find myself thinking about it less. Which on one hand is good, I'm not obsessing about my next meal like I was in the beginning. But on the other hand, I feel badly because I am not only slacking in writing, but also slacking in reading. I am sorry to all of you who I read that I have not been keeping up w/your progress like I should be. I will try to be better.

Not only am I focusing on my healthy lifestyle, but I am planning a March wedding & am also planning a December baby shower for a friend. I'm also in the process of finding a new job. So, these are the things that have been keeping me busy!

I attended a conference on Friday, so all of my food for the day was being provided & I had no say in it. It turned out it wasn't so bad though. I got there, and they had a breakfast spread w/muffins, pastries, and FRUIT. So, I loaded up on the fruit & grabbed a granola bar. Lunch was turkey sandwiches on a croissant. The croissant wouldn't have been my first choice, but I will say that it was delicious & I enjoyed it. I also had a pack of Lays potato chips. Did you know that there are only THREE ingredients in the regular Lay's? Potatoes, Salt, and Sunflower Oil. I thought it was surprising. But anyway, I'm off topic. The afternoon break brought more food. They had chips, candy, popcorn, and cookies set out. I got about a cup of popcorn & picked up one cookie. It was one of those Milano cookies. I took a bite of it, and I realized "I don't love this like I used to." So, I didn't eat it. Do you know how huge that is?! To stop eating something even though it tastes OK, but just isn't really GREAT. I was proud.

Today I wasn't too hungry all day. I ended up only eating two meals (slept in & missed breakfast), so they were higher in points than I usually would have eaten in 2 meals, but I don't want to slack on those points, so it all worked out. I did slack this weekend on my water. The weekends are the hardest water-wise for me! I went hiking both yesterday & today, so that was good. I didn't go to the gym all week. It was just one of those weeks where I wasn't feeling it. Next week I'll get back to it.

I know I won't be seeing a 2 in front of my weight this week... well, I assume I won't... I'd have to lose over 4 pounds. But, I do hope to make up what was gained last week in water weight. We shall see. I do have to weigh in at 10am on Tuesday instead of my usual 5:30, and that will make a difference. That actually may have something to do w/my gain last week. The week before was a mid-morning WI, and last week was an evening WI, so I probably was about the same weight. So, this week may show a little more of a drop that I anticipate since it'll be earlier in the day.

Anyway, this whole daylight savings time throws my body out of whack. I'm exhausted & heading to bed!

One of *those* weeks.

Well, after 10 straight weeks of losing, I knew that when I stepped on the scale this week, that would not be the case. I didn't have a bad week, but sometimes you just KNOW. I ate out a couple times, and while I stayed within my points, I didn't eat as healthy as I should have. And because of that, I am retaining some serious water. The extra sodium, coupled w/my slacking in the H20 department meant a 2.2 pound gain.

We're all going to have our weeks where we gain. Sometimes it's because we were off track... and sometimes our bodies are just saying "hold up there!". I had two weeks that totalled a very big loss... 10 pounds in 2 weeks is NOT natural, so having this 2.2 pound gain slows my progress a little, but it aids me in the whole "healthy weightloss" thing.

I will admit that I had a bad night tonight food-wise. This is the first night since joining WW in August that I've had a night where I let the food control me. I knew I had 35 flex points to use or lose tonight, since my points start over on Wednesdays.... and use them I did. I think it's a horrible excuse for a binge to say "Oh, but I had the points", so I'm certainly not making any excuses. I own up to what I did. We ordered pizza. And eat pizza I did. I believe in indulging responsibly, so I can usually have 2 pieces of thin crust & be totally satisfied. But tonight was another story. We got regular crust, and I hate 3 pieces. And 3 breadsticks. It was a bad decision, and I definately did let my emotions get the better of me. I figured "oh, well you had a gain today, and you have the points, what difference is it going to make?"

So, I'm heading to bed, and tomorrow will be a day full of good decisions. I wouldn't be normal if I didn't face the same setbacks as everyone else. You just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other, at a slow & steady pace, cuz this journey is going to be one that lasts the rest of my life.

MIA

So I've been missing in action from this blog for almost a week! That's unheard of! No worries though, I haven't fallen off the wagon, I've just been busy!

I know that I probably write about this every week before weigh-in, but I'm worried that my work isn't going to show on the scale this week. I have stayed w/in my points all week, but haven't eaten the *best* foods that I could have. I have gone to the gym twice since my last WI, and plan to go tonight. I also went hiking both days this weekend while letterboxing. I just fear that because I had such a big loss the past two weeks (10 pounds total), that this week my body is gonna say "hold up, not so fast!"

At my last WI, I was 301.8, which means to see a "2" in front of my weight, I'd have to lose 2 pounds this week. I just don't think I did. Does anyone else's bodies seem to be behind sometimes? What I mean is that the week before & the week during my period, when I *feel* bloated, it doesn't show that bloat on the scale... but the week AFTER my period, when I feel fine, it seems like *that* is the week I don't show much of a loss on the scale. Same if I have a bad week... that week's WI will be fine, but the following week's will have slowed progress.

So anyway, I am nervous. I'm nervous of not seeing the 200s next week, and I'm worried I will see them. Yes, that sounds crazy. All week when I've weighed, I haven't been out of the 300s, I've actually been UP a couple pounds here and there. So that's why I'm worried about not seeing the 200s. The reason I am worried is that I haven't been there in probably a year, and it's scary. I don't EVER want to see the 300s again, but in the back of my mind I think about how awful it would be if I made it to the 200s, and then had a gain that put me back over the 300 mark. It'd be that same battle to get to the next century all over again.

Yes, I am being whiny.

Regardless of what the scale says, I can take pride in knowing that I am living so much better than I was a couple months ago. My clothes are looser, I can fit into the clothes that at one point were too small, and I took my measurements the other day & was floored by how many inches I've lost. So, I guess sometimes you just gotta keep on truckin'!

Look Great in 2008 Week 6

This week was a great week for me.

I tried on two pairs of pants (jeans & work pants) that I previously was unable to button. And they fit! That was a huge milestone for me, especially b/c the jeans were size 22s, and the last time I was in 22s, it took me until I was about 30 pounds lighter than I am now before I fit in them. So it was a shock, but a great shock.

I also went back to the gym this week. It felt great to push what I felt my limits were. Running on the elliptical for over 30 minutes when I haven't run in months was such a feat! Once I get past about 15 minutes, it's not as hard... but those first 15, I wanna quit! I do the fat burner program, so it alternates between low & high intensity. It's quite the workout.

My week ended on a high note as well when I went to my WW meeting this morning. I usually go Tuesday evenings, but I had to work late tonight, so I made sure to go this morning instead. I was down an astonishing 6 pounds. That's insane! Especially to lose that much in my 10th week on the program! Last week, my total lost was up to 19.8, so this week's loss made me hit my 20 pound mark AND my 25 pound mark! So I am at a total of 25.8 pounds lost in 2 months.

The greatest feeling will be when I no longer see a "3" in front of my weight. Right now I am at 301.8, so I'm pretty close to being out of this "century". I hate to get my hopes up, especially after a week w/such a big loss, but I really hope to see that "2" next week!

My personal reward for 25 pounds lost was to buy new workout clothes. So, tonight I went out and purchased myself a new gym outfit! It's just a pair of black workout pants & a cute pink t-shirt w/hearts all over it. See for yourself:

Blessed

I really do feel lucky because my significant other is such a huge source of support to me. I know some of you ladies have families that don't necessarily follow the same food diet as you do, which brings temptations into your home and makes success more difficult. Or maybe your family sits on their butts while you go out and exercise. Or maybe your family just doesn't understand how hard you are trying & how much perseverance it takes.

But mine does, and it's the biggest help in the world.

Before joining WW, when it was that time of the month, Mike would always pick me up a couple Hershey's bars because he knew chocolate made me feel better when I was cramping or PMSing. I thought it was so sweet of him to know that chocolate was what I needed then.... but now I think it's sweet of him that he DOESN'T buy me that chocolate. It's not like he's not buying it b/c he thinks I shouldn't have it, but he doesn't buy it b/c he knows I want to stay focused & stay on track.

When I first started WW, he kind of had it in his head that healthy food=bad tasting food. Anything low fat, fat free, or sugar free... he wasn't too interested in. But now, he at least tries most of the stuff that I bring home or make... and he actually LIKES a lot of it! For example, he took a LC pizza for lunch today!

My toughest hurdle to get across is exercise. Always has been. I've had a gym membership for over a year, but after last summer, probably used it a total of 5 times. Mike's been telling me that if I add him to my membership, he'll go with me. Honestly, I figured that he'd be too tired after work to actually go, so I was worried it would be a waste of money. Signing up is usually like $80, and that's just money we don't have right now. Our total monthly membership woudl only be $32/month though after that initial fee for him. So I called yesterday to see if they had a membership special going on, as they often do. And they did! They extended their $20 membership for a few more days, so I went yesterday & signed him up for only $32 (sign-up fee plus first month's membership)... and last night, we went to the gym! He was so excited about it and he loved it, which makes me more excited about it! I ran on the elliptical for 33 minutes & walked on the treadmill for 17... so 50 minutes of cardio for me! I also did some strength machines, and I feel it in my shoulders today... but it's a good burn! Afterwards, we went to Subway for dinner!

I'm just so thankful for him, in so many ways... but his encouragement and willingness to make an effort to be healthy with me is so fabulous. He's not following WW, but it's so cute b/c he'll have something & say "how many points do you think this was?". So he's making a conscious effort to help get us both to a healthier weight.

I'm kind of a big deal

Today is a good day.

My clothes bottoms range from 24-26 depending on the material. I've been in 24s for years, and it wasn't until I was about 270 that I dropped to 22s. So my 22s sit lonely in my closet, waiting for the day that I will wear them. As with any clothing, certain brands run bigger or smaller than others. I have a pair of Old Navy jeans that are 24s. They usually fit good when I first put them on, then as the day goes on, they get bigger and bigger. Then I have a pair of 22s from Target that are the same way.... fitted when I put them on, then they get looser throughout the day.

The last time I tried to put on my Target jeans, I could hardly get them over my hips... I managed, but they were probably an inch and a half away from being able to button. And even if I'd been able to button them, I would have had the muffin top of the century.

Well, today I put on my Old Navy 24s, and they were just too big for me to wear to the cookout we're going to this afternoon... I was worried I'd move the wrong way & they'd fall down! Granted, I wore them all day yesterday, so they had loosened a bit.... but I thought what the hell, I'll give the Target 22s a try, just to see how far I've got to go

And I got them on.

I am sitting here typing in freaking 22's!

They are fitted on me, but Mike will love it b/c he loves tight jeans on my ass. LOL And, throughout the day I know they'll have a little more give. I honestly thought it would be like another 30 pounds before I could wear these things.

And now, picture documentation of the jean experience:

These are my Old Navy 24s

And now, my Target 22s (excuse the stupid expression)

Personal Goal Weight vs. Healthy Goal Weight

At 5'6" tall, a healthy weight would be around 140 pounds for me. Perhaps a little more because I do have a bigger frame. The thing is, I cannot EVER see myself *wanting* to weigh 140 pounds.

In kindergarten, I weighed 108 pounds, and my weight continued to rise throughout school... so my guess is that in about 3rd grade I weighed 140. So I have no idea what that would look like on me as an adult. I'll admit, 140 pounds scares me. I'm scared to be thin. I think that women that are about a size 14 are the best looking women. Not saying that any of you out there who have successfully lost your weight aren't beautiful, because you ARE, but in my mind, size 14 is where it's at.

What's wrong with this picture? Despite the drive to loss lots of weight, my goal is still in the "overweight" category. Is anyone else like this? I think to myself "man, if I lost 100 pounds, I'd be right about where I'd like to be" But that's still 225 pounds, far from a "healthy" goal weight.

Maybe in time, as the weight drops, my mindset will change. And for right now, I don't see it as such a bad thing, because I'm not striving for that impossible goal (or a goal that SEEMS impossible when you're over 300 pounds!). Does anyone else have the same personal conflict w/their personal goal weight vs. a healthy goal weight for their height? Did any of you out there overcome it? Share, please!

Winning the mental battle

Changing my eating wasn't that hard. I like things that are healthy... I just also like things that are unhealthy. So, leaving out most of the unhealthy things & substituting the good stuff wasn't much of a challenge.

Changing my activity level was a little harder (and still is). I don't yet enjoy exercising, but I'm hopefully that as my weight drops, it will become easier, thus making me enjoy it more.

But the most challenging thing is changing my mentality. Changing the fact that food is associated with every emotion I know. Just taking my feelings for what they are, and actually FEEL them, happy or sad.

I am improving, and it's important for me to celebrate every time I get over one of those emotional hurdles.

Today I was in a car accident. It wasn't a bad one, noone was hurt, it just shook me up. It happened in a parking lot. I was letting a client out of my car and a car backed out while I was letting her out.... backed out right into my little Honda. We exchanged info, etc, then I went back to the office. I just could NOT focus. I was upset & flustered about the incident, and work was the last thing on my mind. I decided to take the afternoon off and just go home.

And the exciting part comes here: I didn't even *think* about stopping to get some comfort food on the way home. In the past, when something bad would have happened, I would have picked up lunch or ice cream or something on the way home. And it didn't even cross my mind! I got home & was hungry for lunch, so I had a turkey cheese sausage, 0 point soup, broccoli, and a salad. Totally totally healthy. And I ate because I was hungry, not because I was upset.

It feels so good to be in control.

I think it's so important to celebrate these victories.... so celebrate some of yours!

"Willpower"

This post may be something that some of you don't agree with, and that's OK, just please disagree with me respectfully!

I think willpower is a crock. I don't believe in this phenomenon. A lot of times people use the excuse "If only I had the willpower to do such and such" or "Ugh, I have no willpower to say no to bad food" Sometimes we even give willpower credit when we have successes. "I had the willpower to avoid chocolate this week" or "I had the willpower to stay on plan"

Who is in charge here???

YOU.

Take credit for your strengths as well as your weaknesses. If you ate a pound of chocolate, it's not because you lacked something and it made you fail, it's because you chose not to stick to your plan. Same thing goes for having a good week. You didn't have a good week b/c you have this magic thing called willpower, you had a good week because you treated your body well.

Just food for thought... what do you think?

AAHHH!!!

I'M SO IRATE THAT THEY SENT PHIL HOME!!!!!

Look Great in 2008 Week 5

This past week was a good week. Even before stepping on the scale, I was really proud of my successes this week. The scale is not the only measure of my success, it's just one measure. I overcame a huge mental obsticle this past week, and that was amazing and felt unbelievable.

All the hard work paid off on the scale too, though, and I was down 4 pounds!!!

The only stick in the mud was that I was a measly .2 away from hitting my 20 pound mark. But, oh well, I will hit it next week. I certainly can't be upset that it was "only" 4 pounds.... it was 4 POUNDS!

This week my goal is to get my butt to the gym 3 times. I haven't been to the gym consistently in over a year.... I'll go once or twice, then stop. Even though I've been walking, I need to step it up and get into a gym routine.

A little off topic, but I'm watching The Biggest Loser, and Jez's face looks SO skinny tonight!

Healthy "Lasagna"

I call this lasagna despite the fact that I didn't use lasagna noodles... I used ingredients that I've always used in my lasagna, only I made them a little healthier. So, despite the noodle change, it still tastes like lasagna to me!

Healthy "Lasagna"

8 servings/7 points

2 1/2 c. whole wheat penne pasta (I use Healthy Harvest)

2 c. 2% italian blend cheese (I use Kraft)

1 container (24 oz) FF cottage cheese

1 jar 3-cheese tomato sauce (Prego)

Oregano

1 pound lean ground beef

2 tbsp grated parmesan

1. I put my water for the pasta on to boil while I brown my ground beef. When the water boils, I cook the penne according to package directions. When ground beef is browned all the way, I add the pasta sauce to the skillet. I like to add about 1/4 c. water to the almost empty jar to get all the sauce out.

2. In a medium bowl, I mix the cottage cheese, shredded cheese, and oregano (I just eyeball the oregano... you could use parsley or some other spice if you wanted).

3. Once everything is combined/cooked, I begin the layering process! I start by using cooking spray on a glass baking dish. Then I start by putting 1/3 of my pasta sauce mixture on the bottom of the pan, spread out.

4. Next, put half of your pasta over the sauce layer. Follow with half of the cheese mixture, then half of the remaining sauce mixture. Repeat this process one time with the rest of your ingredients, ending with pasta sauce.

5. I like to top the sauce with a couple tbsp of parmesan, then cover with tin foil and cook in a 350 degree oven for 25 minutes. Then take the foil off & cook for 10 more minutes. I like to let it set up for about 5-10 minutes, makes it easier to serve.

You get a really large serving for 7 points, and it's oh-so-tasty!

Chicken Salad Wrap

I made such a delicious thing today! I made chicken salad and used a Flat Out wrap to wrap it up.... mmm, that thing was delicious... and HUGE.... and SO only 5 points!!!

You could add whatever veggies you wanted, onion, celery, etc... I only used lettuce, tomato, and carrots. It is a sweeter chicken salad b/c it uses miracle whip & also baby carrots... but I enjoyed it! So, here's my recipe for this fantastic meal!

Chicken Salad Wrap

5 points

1 can chicken, drained & shredded

2 tbsp Miracle Whip

1 tsp parmesan cheese

1/8 tsp minced garlic

6 baby carrots, chopped

1 roma tomato, chopped

Shredded lettuce

1 Flat Out Wrap (I used the Whole Wheat Honey--1 point)

I just mixed all ingredients except the lettuce & the wrap... then spooned the mixture into the middle of the wrap and topped with lettuce. Roll that sucker up, and voila! I used a tiny bit of miracle whip to act as "glue" to hold the wrap closed. It's somewhat messy, unless there's a better way to wrap it up!

Yum!

Intense!

This is gonna be a long one, but it's a meaningful entry, so if you make it all the way through, thanks:)

Well, my weekend away was great! I feel really good, mentally and physically. Without going into the whole long details of the trip, I want to highlight a few parts.

The first being that I hiked for about 4 hours on Saturday, and maybe 2 total today. It was a lot of hiking! We had crazy inclines for a lot of it, and I was winded like mad, but I made it. I was hiking w/two other girls, one who's about 100 pounds, and one who's about 150.... so I was carrying around at least double what they are. But, I kept up. Proud moment right there. There were a couple of times I wanted to give up... but I didn't.

The first time was when we were in the bottom of this canyon. The trail takes you through the bottom of the canyon, which has a waterway through it... a little creek/stream. When the water's high, you wouldn't be able to get through this way, but when the water is lower, like at this time of year, you can go that way. However, there are not always easy pathways to walk. There's still water, but maybe ankle-knee deep in some parts. There are some edges along the bank that you can walk on at times, then at other times, you have to balance on whatever random rocks are nearby that can act as a stepping stone. When the girls told me we needed to go through the canyon to get to where we were going, I thought they were crazy. I didn't even think I could make it across the 4 stepping stones to get our journey started. They seemed to breeze right across it, as did everyone else I saw do it... but I was terrified. I was worried that the rocks would sink in with my weight, or else they would slip & topple over & I'd fall in the water. Granted, the water wasn't that deep, but it still spelled f-a-i-l-u-r-e to me. Well, they encouraged me, and I made it across the 4 simple stepping stones. For awhile it was smooth sailing, walked along the banks, had maybe 1 stepping stone at a time that we'd have to use... all was well. Until we got to one part. The only option was to walk across using about 15-20 stepping stones, through the water. There was no bank to walk on, nothing... it was these tiny foot-sized rocks, or else turn around. And they weren't right in a row either, you had kind of leap to them at times.... and when rocks are wet, they are slippery!

I knew that my fear was a mental one, and I knew that if I was going to do this, I needed to go first. In my mind, if the other girls made it across, it was because they were light-weight, skinny things, that could just easily get through this task. I know that isn't necessarily the case, but that's what my mind was telling me... I thought that if I went first, I would have noone to compare it to. If someone else had just breezed right through it & made it look easy, I would have felt really down on myself if it wasn't that easy for me. So.... I told them I wanted to go first. I was terrified. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal to fall in the water... like I said, it wasn't very deep... it would have been cold is all... but to me, falling was failure. I never EVER would have done something like this before. If I'd gotten to that point in the trail, I would have said "well, I guess it's time to turn around". So getting past this feat was something huge that I needed to do. It took me awhile, and it wasn't easy. Several rocks were wobbly, and I had to hold my body so stiff to balance.... but slowly, I made my way across the water. I'd say it was maybe 30-40 yards?

I DID IT.

I had such an adrenaline rush after that, I felt like I could do ANYTHING. I wanted to cry, I was so excited. In my head, while I was doing it, I just kept saying "you can do this, you can do this... pretend like this is a Biggest Loser challenge... you can do this". And I did. And just like on the BL, winning isn't always the most important thing... finishing is.

After that feat, we got out of the canyon and had a bit more hiking, mostly at a very steep incline. Eventually, our hike took us back down to the canyon to explore, then it was getting dark, so we knew we needed to get back to the top of the canyon. And there was only one way to do that.

STAIRS.

They have these wooden staircases built throughout the park so that you can get to the many levels of trails... and we were at the lowest point & needed to get to the highest.... which was hundreds of feet above us.... once again, I thought there was NO WAY I could possibly make it up all those stairs. At all.

But, we started out... I counted... and after 150, I lost count, but my guess is that there were probably about 50 more after that. So I climbed 200 stairs in a row, and I survived. My legs felt like jelly, and after about half the stairs, I didn't think there was any way I could carry my 300+ pound body up any more stairs.... but I did. I had the strength that I didn't know I had.

Was I exhausted after all that? Absolutely.

But more importantly, I was proud of myself, I had more confidence in my abilities, and I felt like I'd really accomplished great things & pushed myself farther than I ever had before.

Giving in to cravings

I am a firm believer that I am certainly NOT on a diet... so there aren't foods that are off limits. I believe in eating anything in moderation. That means I will indulge in certain foods when I get a craving for them. If I deny that craving, I am much more likely to binge on that food down the road.

So, tonight I was having a carb and a sugar craving... Specifically, I wanted potatoes. Well, lucky me, I had a pack of garlic & herb instant mashed potatoes. Now, I know some people hate instant potatoes... me, I LOVE THEM. And for 3 points, I got 1 1/3 cups of wonderful mashed potato goodness. I also made myself a cheese quesadilla. Then to fulfill my sugar craving, instead of having a huge ice cream sundae or something, I went to Starbucks & got a light vanilla bean frap for a low 3 points.

Another thing about tonight was that Mike was at a concert... so I was home alone... and we all know that when Teale's home alone, she gets bored.... and that can lead to boredom eating w/o a plan... but, being the prepared Weight Watcher that I am, I have a plan! So, I consulted my "things to do when I'm bored" list, and went to the book store... I spent a couple hours there, sipping my light frap, and it was great.

Now I'm heading to bed to get a good night's sleep before my big hiking trip to Starved Rock tomorrow... can't wait!

Good day.

Today was a good day. I don't know that there was anything that made it specifically good, but I just feel like I made good decisions all day, and I feel good about it.

I woke up and made myself some breakfast. I cooked an individual cup of egg beaters (I love those things!) with a slice of pepperjack singles melted in them. That's my favorite way to eat them! Then I also had a bowl of cereal w/double the milk.

Had kind of a dull morning at work, but instead of snacking when bored, I drank and drank and drank! I had 6 glasses down by lunchtime! I did have a snack mid-morning... one of my hershey's 100 calorie wafer bars. I love those things! It's a perfect fix of chocolate!

Lunchtime came, and I tried a new Smart Ones... turkey with garlic potatoes. It was GREAT! And only 4 points! I had myself a salad & a tomato as well. Then had a 2 point ice cream bar for dessert.

Afternoon came, and I took a couple clients to the local apple orchard. I did indulge in an apple donut... my first donut in months! I enjoyed it, but it wasn't as good as I remember donuts being!

I knew I wouldn't be cooking dinner tonight b/c I had errands to run, so I picked up Subway for Mike & I on the way home. He's happy that I'm eating more Subway b/c he really likes it... I didn't used to eat it much b/c when I lived in the dorms at college, that's pretty much all I ate, and I got burnt out on it! I had some goldfish w/my sandwich too... love them little things!

Then tonight, I made some more 1 point cake cookies! I tried them w/Pineapple cake this time! I got the recipe from Trisha, you can see it here. I think I like them better than the chocolate ones. I also have some spice cake to try them with next time!

So yeah, nothing too special happened today, but it just felt like a good day. I went to bed really early last night (8:30) and woke up this morning at the first beep of the alarm at 6 w/o needing to hit snooze 3 times! Getting a good night's sleep definately makes a difference!

Tomorrow will be exercise day 2 for this week (my WW week goes from wednesday-tuesday). Will probably just do a morning walk. Another good thing that's been going on is that my time on my routes is improving! A route that used to take me 30 minutes to walk only took me 24 minutes yesterday! That's a great improvement!

Anyway, I guess I didn't really have much to talk about, so I'll quit blabbing now... time to read me some Dr. Phil!

Doom and Gloom.

Bad news.

The girls are shrinking.

I will miss them.

Look Great in 2008 Week 4

Tonight was my weigh-in at WW. I was down 1.2 pounds, for a total of 15.8 lost so far. That is just about 2 pounds per week, which is absolutely the results that I like to see! My goal is 10 pounds per month, for now, and right now, I'm right on track. That amount of weight won't happen in a few months, when I've got less to lose, but right now, I think it's definately a doable goal.

I'm not going to lie. I did horribly with exercise this week. I honestly don't know that I will ever enjoy it... but I know that I will enjoy the results I see because of it. I only walked 2 days this week, and didn't go to the gym, or do my BL dvd even once. My goal for this week is to exercise 4 times.

I started taking a daily vitamin this past week, and I really do feel like I've got more energy. I take it at night when I take my BC pill, so I don't ever forget it. I also did much better with my water this week. I didn't drink 8 glasses every day, but I'd say I did it for at least 5 days.

My goals for this coming week include my exercise x 4, water EVERY day, and to eat more fruits/veggies. They are one thing I often let slide.

I may have a somewhat challenging weekend. I am going on a little mini-trip to a state park on Saturday/Sunday. Breakfast Saturday I will have before I leave. Then lunch & dinner both will be meals out. I will just have to make good choices and stick to my plan. I am also going to bring some granola bars, 100 cal packs, or fruit with me to have as snacks and breakfast on Sunday. We will be doing a lot of hiking on Saturday, so I'll get good exercise in then, which I'm excited about. There will always be challenges though, for the rest of my life, so just keeping my focus & sticking to my plan is what the answer is going to be!

State of Mind

Here I sit, watching the Biggest Loser, and I'm so impressed w/the black team. They are the "rejects". They were the ones noone wanted. They were the weak ones.

And do you know WHY their team is kicking so much ass?

Because they have something to prove.

Everyone has their own reason for losing weight, everyone has their own personal motivation... but collectively, as a team, they want to show what they're made of to prove everyone else wrong.

I think it's a great attitude to have. I absolutely am not saying you should lose weight for other people, you have to do it for yourself, or it won't stay off... but I'm saying that proving yourself to others can be a real motivating factor. The people that used to pick you last in gym, the salespeople that snub their noses at you when you come into their store, the waiters that seem to be judging you for being overweight & eating a meal out....

You can prove to them, but most importantly yourself just how strong you are.

Have a plan.

I have come to realize that a lot of my bad eating habits come simply from boredom. There are a million other things I could do, but when I'm home alone & have nothing I have to do, I go to the kitchen. So the first important thing was to recognize this... now that I recognize this, I have developed a plan.

It's usually on days that Mike's gone that I'll have my boredom binges... so on those days, I have started making myself a to-do list. I love lists, so checking items off the list is always exciting. Tonight he's working late, so I made a list of all the things I needed to do, could do, and would like to do but haven't in awhile. And it's kept me busy. I stopped to have dinner, obviously, but I haven't snacked once.

It's funny, because on my list was to read 10 pages in my Dr. Phil book... 9 pages down, I found this quote:

"You are creating the situations you're in; you're creating the thoughts and emotions that flow from those situations. You must embrace the fact that you own your problems and take action to solve them."

Pretty perfect quote for the situation tonight, I'd say! I made sure to put enough items on my list that I couldn't run out... there are things on there that I will not get done tonight, but that's fine. I'd rather that happen than to check them all off and then mindlessly go to the fridge b/c I was out of tasks.

What are the situations you've created, and what action are you taking to solve them?

My old life.

Out of curiousity, I thought I would post a sample menu from my old life, just to see the outrageous amount of points I was probably having every day. Granted, I didn't eat like this every day, but there were probably a couple days a week that this was a typical menu. I generally was eating at least one meal out a day every day, and some days, all three meals were out.... so here's an example of the extremely bad day. It's embarrassing to actually post the amount that I was eating, but I think it's important to do this, and I challenge all of you to do the same. I'm just estimating here based on nutrition info online... the WW site is down for maintenance right now, so I can't do exact totals.

Breakfast
Most mornings, I would go to either McDonald's or Sonic. At McDonald's, I would order 2 breakfast burritos, a sausage/cheese biscuit, and an extra large Dr. Pepper. Yes, that's enough to feed 3 right there. And an estimated total of 40 points. That's more than I eat in a whole DAY now. The Dr. Pepper alone is 10-12 points. Outrageous.

Snack
I'd sometimes hit the vending machine and get a big bag of cheese-its and a mountain dew. This is an estimated total of 12 points

Lunch
Once a week I would meet a friend for lunch and we would go to eat on campus... we'd eat at a variety of places, but then top it off with Coldstone. Qdoba was one of our favorites... it's a mexican restaurant. I'd get nachos and iced tea w/sweetener. The nachos are an estimated total of 20 points but that might be too little, I couldn't find the exact nutritional info. And then we'd go to Coldstone and I'd get a medium sized creation, for about 20 points.

Snack
Sometimes I would go through the DQ drive thru and get a medium cookie dough blizzard for about 24 points

Dinner
It wasn't uncommon for us to order pizza for dinner. Usually they had some kind of special where you get free cheesesticks or breadsticks or something w/the pizza... so I'd usually have a couple slices of pizza, several cheese sticks, and some garlic butter... an estimated 40 points

For a grand total of Teale's ultimate old bad day as: 156 points

That is almost 8,000 calories that on a really bad day I used to consume.

Wow, that was unbelievable. Like I said, not every day was like this, but these days probably existed once per week. And it's really only out of sheer laziness.

That's really overwhelming to see, and really embarrassing to admit. But, that's my past... that's what got me here, and all the tools I'm using now, including this blog, is what's gonna get me far away from that.

One year.... and progress....

Today Mike & I celebrated one year together! I took a picture of us, and for the first time was able to see the weight loss in my face. I'll post the picture, then next to it will post one of our engagement pictures from April. I've lost over 20 pounds since then. I don't know how much I weighed at the time of the pictures, because our scale only weighed up to 330, and anything above that said "Error".... and for awhile, I got the error message when stepping on the scale.... so, at least 20 pounds gone.

Here I am now.




And here I am in April.



^This is my favorite e-pic of us!

What do you guys think?

Dr. Visit

Well, today was my annual exam that I mentioned in my last entry. I had apprehension about being drilled about my weight. But, I followed the advice of Angie, I believe, to be the first one to bring it up... talk about the changes I've made & mention the weight that I'd lost. When I stepped on the scale at the doc's office, I was 20 pounds less than when I stepped on it in May at the doc's. I expressed my excitement to the nurse, and she made note of it on my paper.... then the doctor noted it! She commended me for my efforts and said that slow & steady was the way to go, that it didn't all get put on overnight & it wasn't going to go away overnight. I like this woman!

The only thing weight-related she said wasn't really directed at me to lose weight, but more just in conversation about the HPV shot Gardisil, she mentioned how it reduces the risk of cervical cancer, then she said "And losing weight will also reduce your risk". That's the only time she addressed losing weight at all.

After the appointment, I had a rough afternoon, emotions-wise. I was just overwhelmed with some stuff, and was feeling very emotional. I feel so proud of myself though, I didn't turn to food at all. I didn't even THINK about turning to it! I got out of the house & went to the book store to browse. I did get a 3-point drink from Starbucks, but I got it because I was thirsty & I wanted a treat, not because I thought it would make me feel better.

Tomorrow is Mike & my 1-year anniversary. We'll be going to dinner at my favorite mexican restaurant. I know what I'm getting all ready, so as long as I stick to my plan, I should be fine, points-wise! Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Dread

Today I go for my annual gynocologist visit. That's not what I'm dreading though. I really don't mind it too much... I mean, it's awkward to spread 'em for a stranger, but it's over pretty quickly, so I don't mind.

What I do dread though, is that every time I go to the gyno, I get hassled about my weight. Let me emphasize two things. 1)I know I'm overweight. 2)I'm working on it.

I know that they're just doing their job as doctors to encourage their patients to be healthy, but it's just such a sensitive subject for me. It's even happened to me before when I've gone in to the doctor b/c of a COLD... the doctor wanted to discuss my obesity. Well I wanted to discuss his bad breath, but I kept my mouth shut, so why doesn't it work both ways?

I do have some "ammo" so to speak though, because the last time I was at the doctor was in May or June, and I weighed about 20 pounds more... so I at least have some evidence that I have made progress. Unfortunately compared to a year ago, I am about 20 pounds heavier... so I'm sure that will come up. Not much I can do about the past though, I just have to continue to do what I'm doing in the present so that I can meet my goal in the future.

One more thing

Oh, and another thing that made me smile tonight....

Mike hugged me, then looked me up and down, patted my stomach and said

"You're getting SKINNY!"

It means so much and is so encouraging to know that he notices. I told him that I couldn't really tell, and he says "Look at your stomach! It used to stick out past your boobs, now it doesn't!" And he's right! My belly IS shrinking!!!

Proud

I had a dinner to go to tonight w/a couple friends from high school. I suggested Red Lobster b/c I knew I could eat some fresh fish for minimal points. I ordered a full order of tilapia (but I could have only gotten 1/2 and been satisfied... next time I'll do that!), a salad w/little shrimp, baked potato w/butter, and broccoli. I ate all that and didn't even have to use any flex.

But the best thing I did was AVOID THE CHEDDAR BISCUITS!!!

In the past, I would have probably eaten 3 or 4 of those throughout the meal... and at 4 points a pop... ouch! I didn't even actually LOOK at them, didn't miss them either.

And I looked up the crab alfredo that I used to get, to see points value for that... and it's like 30 points for a full order of it. OMG.

So, tonight was an excellent dinner, I felt really proud of myself for making good choices, and I didn't walk out of there MISERABLY stuffed (or find myself parched in the evening like I used to after all the fried, high-sodium food I used to eat there!). Great evening:)

All Weight-Loss Bloggers....

Please check out Twix's recent entry about another site, The Weigh We Were, putting a lot of people's weight loss blogs in their directory. They are doing this w/o permission from anyone. I understand it's the internet, and if you put your stuff out there, anyone could find it... but this seems fishy! There's also no customer service email to be found! There's a link where you can sign up to have your blog added to their blog directory, but myself & some other women on here did NOT sign up! If you click that link though, you can leave a comment on that entry.... so we all commented on that entry to be removed. Just search the blogroll for your name.... even my personal "Teale's Meals" banner is there! Also, when I google my blog name (Teale's Meals) it comes up from the Weigh We Were site....

I don't know, I just don't like this.... just go check to see if you are there!

Distorted Body Image

Does anyone else have this problem? Usually the distortion you think of is someone thinking they're fatter than they are.... but for me, it's the opposite. When I look in the mirror, I don't see myself as big as I am. But every once in awhile, I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the window of a store or something, and I'll think "God, who IS that fat person?!" And, well, it's ME.

This is really a large part of how I let myself get to the highest weight I was ever at.... because I didn't see myself as someone that weighed that much. I think part of this comes from people telling me my whole life that I "carry my weight well" or "don't look like I weigh that much". Yes, it's meant as a compliment, but it's really messed w/my head!

A nurse once actually thought the scale was inaccurate when I stepped on and it weighed me at over 300 pounds.... I had to be the one to tell her "nope, I really am that fat".

Anyway, that just popped into my head this evening, so I thought I'd get it out there...

Monterray-Jack Ranch Chicken

I decided to make up my own recipe tonight and came up with this. I'm sure that there are other recipes quite similar to this, so it's not like I invented the concept of ranch chicken... I just didn't follow a recipe. This was SO delicious... I will definately make this again!



Monterray-Jack Ranch Chicken
5 servings/4 points each
(or 21.5 points for the whole recipe & make as many servings as you want!)

1 small can FF Cream of Chicken soup
1 packet of dry Ranch Dressing seasoning
1 package boneless/skinless chicken breasts (my package was about 18 oz, and points are figured for that amount... I also purchased the thin style so that it wouldn't take as long to cook)
1 c. 2% Monterray-Jack shredded cheese

1. Mix the soup and the ranch dressing in a small bowl. Add a few drops of milk or water if you think it's too thick (remember that this will thin out as it cooks!)
2. Spray a glass baking dish w/cooking spray & place chicken breasts in it.
3. Spoon the soup/ranch mixture evenly over the chicken.
4. Cook for 30 minutes in a 350 degree oven.
5. Add the shredded cheese and cook for 5 more minutes

This would also be good without the cheese, if you were looking to cut points. I think the cheese adds a little something to it, but the flavor of the ranch is certainly good on it's own, too.

Dumb

Does it really bug anyone else when people say "Muscle weighs more than fat".

That's like the stupid little riddle "Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of lead?"

A POUND IS A POUND!

I understand the benefits of having muscle on your body, and I understand that it takes up less space on your body than fat does, so in that respect, you would have a smaller mass but possibly weigh more because of the added muscle. But I just think that statement up there is irritating!

I'm enjoying the Dr. Phil book, but he said that in one of his paragraphs, and it's just one of my pet peeves I guess! Oh, I'll get over it, I just had to have a random little hissy fit:)

Inevitable

Well, it is unavoidable that we will all have weeks where we either gain, don't lose at all, or don't lose much. This was my week, and I was expecting it. I did end up losing .6 which brings me to 313.0

Something was just "off" this week. I haven't really pinpointed exactly what it was, I think I was just a little tired of the required effort. I've done a lot of reflection in the past few days though, and I know that the effort will be forever required. There will be off weeks like this, yes... but honestly, I still lost, so this wasn't a bad week. The scale is showing smaller numbers every week... and that's all I can ask!

Keep on Keepin' on.

I started Dr. Phil's book last night, and as cheesy as it sounds, I really feel like it's speaking to me all ready. This morning, I thought to myself "Ugh, I have to go for a walk". My heart just wasn't feeling happy about taking a walk.... but then I reframed and though "no, I don't HAVE to go for a walk, but becoming healthy is in MY hands alone.... so if I don't go for this walk, I'm not helping myself at all"

And I went for my walk.

So even if the scale doesn't move tonight, or if I gained, it's OK, because I'm on my way... I'm making progress off the scale, mentally.

Porcupine Meatballs

My mom made this as I was growing up, and it was always one of my favorites. I omitted some things & changed things up a bit to make them healthy.... they're delicious!

Porcupine Meatballs
8 balls/3 points each


1 pound ground turkey (I used 93/7)
1/2 c. uncooked rice (I used white, but brown is good too!)
2 small cans (or 1 big can) FF cream of mushroom soup
Seasonings (I used minced garlic & pepper... no salt needed, the soup has enough in it!)

1. In a mixing bowl, combine the ground turkey, rice, and seasonings. Use your hands to mix these ingredients together until very well mixed.
2. Form 8 balls and place in a glass baking dish coated w/cooking spray.
3. Cover the meatballs with the mushroom soup.
4. Cook, uncovered, in a 350 degree oven for 25-30 minutes. I like to cut the biggest meatball down the middle to make sure they're done.

My mom used to also make these with tomato soup. I don't like tomato soup, so I don't make it this way, but you could change things up a bit to make it however you liked things! Just be sure to adjust points if necessary!

Dr. Phil

I know some of you on here really swear by Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight-Loss Solution book. I just started it today, and it's spoken to me all ready. I wanted to share a blurb with you all:

Stop telling yourself that you absolutely "have to" lose weight, because that's a lie. You don't "have to" lose weight. You may want to, you may even need to, but you don't have to. It would be nice if you did, but it isn't something you must do. That's just what you have been telling yourself because you thought it would motivate you. Lying to yourself like this won't help you; trust me. You have to breathe--no choice there--but you don't have to lose weight. So instead of all that drama and self-recrimination, I want you to choose to feel very calm and very relaxed. Get up each morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and see yourself not as someone who is overweight or out of shape, but as the someone you will become, a person with a greater level of dignity and worth who, for probably the first time ever, is finally going to succeed--for a lifetime.

For those of you that have read it, have you written in it in your blog? Refer me to those entries, please, I'm interested in reading more about this book!

Obsessed.

I am seriously in love w/the fruit dip that I talked about in my last entry. I LOVE IT. In case you didn't click the link, here's the recipe:

Cheesecake Fruit Dip
0 points/2 tbsp

1 (8 oz) container FF Cool Whip
1 package instant SF/FF Cheesecake Pudding
3/4 c. Skim Milk

You just mix the pudding & milk until it's a thick consistency, then mix it with the cool whip.... SO EASY!

I've been eating it w/graham crackers, as "icing" on my cake cookies, mixed w/strawberries for a healthy "strawberries & cream", dipped other fruit in it.... etc.

My next endeavor is going to be a banana dessert... I don't have points values for it yet, but here's what I'm gonna do:

1. Crush 2 graham crackers and spread on the bottom of an 8 or 9 inch round pan/pie plate.
2. Make the fruit dip above, only use banana pudding instead of cheesecake pudding.
3. Slice up a large banana and stir in this mixture.
4. Break up (haven't decided how many... depends on points) LF Nilla Wafers and mix in
5. Spread this mixture over the graham crackers, then decorate the top with more Nilla Wafers, graham cracker crumbs, or fruit, if desired!

Sounds SO good!!!

I seriously am going to have this fruit dip in my household at all times, in some form. It's nice b/c when you add the pudding mixture in, it makes the whipped cream a little less fluffy, so you can actually refill the empty cool whip container with your dip! I just took the little cardboard thing off the lid so that I'd know it wasn't really cool whip (cuz I have that in my fridge too). Seriously, LOVE IT.