Friday, March 28, 2008

I've been on vacation...

And I mean that in both the literal & figurative sense. I've been away because I travelled to Oregon for a week. I have a friend out there who I went to visit. It's very beautiful out there. Before I left for my trip, I had a bit of a binge slip-up. I have been feeling very mediocre regarding my WW plan for several weeks. I haven't been strict. Hell, I haven't even been really counting points. I made a decision before my vacation that I was going to do what I wanted while on vacation, and when I returned, I was going to give the core plan an attempt. My leader suggests switching plans if you keep finding yourself in the same roadblock. So, I decided that's what I needed to do.

I feared the core plan a lot. For those that may not know the difference, WW has two plans. The flex plan gives you a daily points amount based on your weight, gender, activity level, etc. You can eat what you want, as long as you stay within your daily points value. There are good health guidelines to follow as well (such as drinking water, getting dairy, etc), but essentially, you could still eat crap while on this plan & lose weight. And tha'ts what I had been doing here and there. However, the core plan doesn't count points. There is a list of core foods, and you eat what you want to off this list (it's a big list), as much as it takes for you to feel satisfied. That's something that's very different between the plans. Flex doesn't require you to really pay attention to your comfort level. So oftentimes, I'd find myself eating simply because I had the points to use, not because I was actually hungry. Core also gives you 35 flex points per week, so if you want to eat something that's not a core food, you are still able to do that, within reason.

So the reason I was afraid of it was because I feel like if I knew when to stop when I was no longer hungry (vs. being full--that's very different!), I wouldn't weigh what I weigh now. This also changes pretty much my whole menu. Right now I do eat quite a few processed foods. Things that are quick and easy--frozen meals, 100 cal packs, etc. Core seems like a lot more "clean" eating. It also seems like a lot of work to learn the new program. But I think that's what I need. I need to focus on learning something new instead of being stuck in a comfortable spot.

I haven't been to a meeting in 2 weeks because of my trip. I will be going on Tuesday, and I am quite afraid. To be honest, I feel like I've probably gained like 10 pounds. That's what happens though when you dont' lead a healthy lifestyle. So, here's to trying something new...

If anyone that reads me is doing core or has tried it, could you please provide me with some encouragement or words of wisdom about the program? I'm going into this one blind!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Check In

Today was a really good day. I am happy that I can say that, despite the scale saying that I am 2.6 pounds up this week. I had a good week, and while I didn't do everything I committed to (hey, where were the people hounding me about it?!), I am still happy with how it turned out. This is the weigh-in that falls at the tail end of my period, and no matter how good I do that week, I never quite see the results that you would anticipate. I know that though, and I will not let a number define my mood.

After weighing in, I came home & changed and hit the streets for day 2 of c25k. Today I actually did the 60/90 jog/walk rotation. Let me tell you, 60 seconds is a long time to run when you weigh 275 pounds and haven't run in about 5 years. After about 3 times jogging, I felt DEAD. I wanted to go home. I looked at the clock, and it had only been like 8 minutes! Out of 20! And then the next song in rotation started on my mp3 player. It's a song by Jimmy Eat World that always puts me in a good mood. It's got a good beat, a good tempo, I just like it. And the first lines of the song were perfect.

Are you gonna live your life wondering,
Standing in the back, looking around?
Are you gonna waste your life thinking,
How you've grown up, or how you've missed out?

And so I started jogging again. And I finished.

Let me tell you, my knees ache, and walking up 3 flights of stairs after that jog was rough, but I did it. Another sticker on the calendar!

After my jog, I made dinner--stuffed burgers. I made 5 and froze 6. I ate 2 for dinner (2 points each) with some potatoes and veggies. Then I headed to the grocery store. Heck, I figured I was on a roll, might as well get some healthy food while I'm at it. I start my second job tomorrow, so I will have to pack two meals in the morning to eat while at work. So I decided to give homemade veggie soup a try. I've never made it before, and I didn't follow a recipe, so we'll see how it turns out. This is what I used:

Lean beef (a package of stew meat all ready cut, score!)
1 large potato
Frozen Corn
Frozen Green Beans
1 can diced tomatoes (no salt added)
4 cups low sodium, fat free beef broth
1 tbsp garlic

I didn't add any other seasonings at this point, because I want to taste what the blend of veggies tastes like. I also tried to make this as low sodium as possible because while soup can be a really great low-point food, it can be really HIGH in sodium, which bloats me up & makes me retain water like no other! I put all that good stuff in the crock pot, and it's going to cook all night while I sleep in my comfy bed! Then tomorrow morning, I'll have soup for the next several days! I'll have to take a picture!

I'm really ready to be 100% on track with WW. I have only been about 70% on track for quite awhile now. And while that does give me results some of the time, it's not the results I could be achieving. I need to write down every single thing that goes in my mouth, like I was in the beginning, and I also need to continue with the activity. Exercising two times this week is amazing for me. I'm lucky if I exercise two times a month. I plan to do my third day of c25k on Friday, which is my day off. I'd also like to go to the gym for some strength training that day too if I've got time. Screw that, I'll make the time!

What do YOU commit to this week?

Monday, March 10, 2008

Move it

Yesterday was the whole "set your clocks forward" situation. I can never remember if that's Daylight Savings Time, or if that means DST is ending... at any rate, it means it stays light outside for longer in the evening. So yesterday evening at about 7, I had nothing to do, and I thought I'd go for a walk. It wasn't too cold outside. I had on a long-sleeved shirt, pants, gloves, and a scarf, and I was comfy. I walked for about 5 minutes, and then something happened.

The spirit moved me!


Yes, you can pick your jaw up off the floor now!

I am participating in a 5K in June, and another friend of mine online is going to participate with me. She had left me a message saying she was starting the c25k training this week. I read that comment right before I left for my walk, and I thought about it while I was walking. I couldn't remember what amounts of time I was supposed to jog/walk for the first week, since I didn't go on this walk prepared to train. So, I just set my own amount & stuck with it. I jogged for 30 sec, walked for 60. When I got home and looked at the schedule, I saw that week one is actually 60/90, but oh well. I still freaking JOGGED.

A few months ago, back in my early WW days, I was walking consistently in the mornings before work. There was one entry I wrote about where I decided to jog, and I was able to for about a block before feeling like I was gonna die. Let me just tell you that it was SO much easier this time!!! It did get harder as I got near the end of my session, but I kept going regardless. I didn't keep track of the time, but my estimate is that I did this for about 15-20 min, plus a warm up/cool down for a few minutes on each end. It's a start though!

I will admit, my joints are a little sore today. Specifically my knees. I didn't notice it until I went down the stairs on my way to work today. But it's OK, it's a good ache.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Holy Crap

So someone left me a comment on my last entry about how I have less "junk in the trunk" as they do. And I chuckled, b/c I thought "You obviously haven't SEEN all the junk I've got!!!" So I pulled out my "before" picture... I don't look at it often. And I see my MAMMOUTH ass. That's still what I envision it as.

Then I compared it to the pics I posted yesterday.

And my jaw dropped.

That may have been what I needed to get me past this mental battle. The proof is right there! I really AM making progress, and 50 pounds DOES make a difference. Wow, was pretty much all I could say. Wow.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Good week.

I didn't end up weighing in on Tuesday because of the weather. We had a big winter storm advisory, and it took me 30 minutes just to get to my apartment from work, when it usually takes me 10. By the time I got home, I was all ready late for the meeting. So, I went to a Thursday evening meeting instead.

Last week I gained .6 but this week I lost 2.4, which more than makes up for that gain last week! I am currently at -53.8 pounds! It's tradition for my friend Melissa and I to call one another after our WW meetings. She lives a couple hours away, so we don't attend meetings together obviously, but we still encourage each other & talk about how we're doing w/our plan. So, I called her and we had a good talk. When people tell me how amazing it is that I've lost over 50 pounds, I don't really hear them. But this time, I did. She told me "Teale, that is SO good, can you believe it?!!?" And she's right, I need to start believing it. I told her how I doubt myself, and I'm just kind of waiting for it to stop working. But the fact is, as long as I hold up my end of the deal, the program is going to hold up it's end of the deal.

I had the day off work today, and another friend and I went shopping. It's funny how I enjoy shopping a lot more now that I have more choices. This is both a good and bad thing... good for the self esteem, bad for the wallet! Maurices had all these cute spring outfits out, and I was sucked in! I found a cute pair of capri khaki-type pants and a shirt to go with it... see for yourself!

But the excitement doesn't end there... my friend tried on a cute pair of jean capris that I really loved. She tried them on in a 20, which I knew would be too small for me, but I didn't want to search through the store to find 22s, so I told her to let me try them on so I could at least get an idea of what they'd look like on me & see how far I was from being in 20s. Take a look for yourself how far I am from being in them:

I BOUGHT A PAIR OF FREAKING 20S!!!!! (please excuse the blurriness!)

I am the incredible shrinking woman!!!

I tried a new recipe the other night... taco soup. I'll post a picture & the recipe soon!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


I've begun "blogging" from work again. What I mean, is that I write an email to myself, send it, then when I get home on my computer where I can actually access my blog, I post it. Haha, fooled you websense blog blocker!

Anyway, it's 7am, and I am committing to having a 100% on plan day. Today is my usual WW day. Last week I went on Friday b/c Tuesday I had other plans. I think that I may just go & opt not to weigh in. I have mixed feelings on this though. The fact is, I had a crappy weekend, I ate my weight in movie theater popcorn, candy, etc, and I'm paying for it now. I imagine that most of the gain is as a result of the sodium... however, the fact is, I made the decision to eat crappy, and I should probably face the music. I really just would hate to "lose" my 50 pound accomplishment. Another option would be to wait until Friday and go to that meeting again... that way it's been a whole week since my last WI. Like I said... I have mixed feelings.

I've been inspired to try the Couch to 5K program (c25k). One of my resolutions was to participate (notice the word choice--not "run") in a 5K. I am going to do the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in June. This may sound strange to some, but I would rather run outside than run at the gym on the treadmill. I know some people don't like the thought of running in public w/cars driving by... but at least after they drive by, they're GONE. At the gym, not so much. Problem is, it's pretty crappy weather here! I'm also curious... for any of you that have done this program before... how do you know when it's time to switch from jogging to walking, without staring at a stopwatch the whole time?

New foods:

I picked up some hummus the other day while roaming about the store. I like hummus, but I'm kind of particular. I got the Athenos brand, just the regular kind. It's OK, but not my favorite. I think I might try to make my own sometime, but we'll see.

I also picked up some Fiber One bars. I'd heard great things about them, that they're super tasty & they've got like 1/3 of your daily fiber in them. They're supposed to be really filling for only 2 points. The part about them being tasty is true... I got the Oats & Caramel kind, and it's delicious... but they give me HORRIBLE cramps! And gas. Does this happen to anyone else? Is this something that my body will just "get used to"?


Tonight I will make my stuffed burgers. They make 10-11 patties, so I freeze them & have several meals out of it! I think today after work I'll go to the store & get stuff to make taco soup, then tomorrow while I'm at work it can cook! I may wait til Thursday on that one though. I have some frozen chicken breasts in the fridge that I'm going to do something with too... Anybody got some good recipes/ideas for some tasty chicken? Maybe even something that I can freeze leftovers of?

*edit* So I forgot to lay the frozen hamburger out tonight... I guess it will be a lean cuisine & a salad tonight. Burgers tomorrow!

OK, That's about it for now!

Monday, March 3, 2008

It's time...

It's time to get my head back on straight regarding my weight watchers plan. I have been just scooting along at the bare minimum since about Thanksgiving. I've continued to lose, for the most part, but I'm not giving it my all.

My main battle is completely mental. I never thought I'd get to 50 pounds lost, and then I did. The problem though has been that I don't actually envision myself at my goal weight. I saw 50 pounds as this huge hurdle, but I didn't plan for what I'd do once I crossed that line. So for right now, my goal is to get into the 250s. I haven't been in the 250s in YEARS. When I did WW the first time (successfully), I lost 30-some pounds, which put me in the 260s. At that point, I was thrilled, cuz I hadn't been to that point in ages either. But I never made it to the 250s. So, 250s, you are mine!!!

My other battle that I face off with is the gym. I have just been refusing to go, period. It's my responsibility to prioritize, and it doesn't matter if I worked 10 hours that day or's my decision to go home and be lazy and sit in front of the tv, or go to the gym for 30 minutes and get some exercise. Noone is in control of that situation but me. And the fact is, if I don't go to the gym, I'm not going to see the results that I could potentialy see. I know there are others out there struggling with this... or they feel like maybe they're on a plateau. But ask yourself: what is it that I could be doing that I'm not? And for me, that is exercise!

I had a .6 gain on Friday when I weighed in. I expected it. I fear going tomorrow night though. I'm certain it's another gain. I did well during the week... but my weekend was not so good. Drinks, movie popcorn, mexican food, deep dish pizza... ugh. I did, however, resist buying a bag of chocolate when I went to the store w/a friend the other day. She was buying some candy, and I picked up a bag of Reese's... then I thought about it & put it back on the shelf. Big behavior modification there!

So this is the plan for this week. Please help keep me accountable.
1. Get exercise 4 days this week. Whether it's going to the gym, going for a walk, or doing a DVD workout at home. I will get some form of movement 4 days.
2. Cook! I will cook 3 times this week. One of those times will be a recipe I haven't yet tried before. (I'm thinking taco soup... yum!)
3. Blog at least twice.
4. Remind myself daily that I am working towards my next goal of being in the 250s. That is about 17 pounds to go.
5. Write down my food every day (and maybe record it here, just for accountability)

Do you gals have a plan for the week?

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Accepting Compliments

Does anyone else have a really difficult time accepting compliments from others? I am the worst. Usually when someone gives me a compliment, I think of an excuse as to why they are wrong. The new boy (Eddie) oftentimes tells me I look nice. And I don't know what to do with that. Instead of just smiling & saying "Thank you" I shrug it off and say "Oh, I feel like I look like crap" or "Ugh, my hair is awful today" or any other variety of self-depreciation.

Why do we do this? Why is it so hard to accept when someone says nice words about you?

For me, I think that I got made fun of a lot by other kids in school growing up. As I got older, there were the sarcastic compliments. Things boys would say in jest, like "oooh, looking good there today, fatty" or something like that. So to me, compliments are often associated with negative things. The fake compliments, if you will.

But on the giving end of compliments, I give them out endlessly. I love to tell someone how cute they look & boost their self esteem or brighten their day. Or to give a coworker applause for a job well done. Or tell others how proud I am of their weight loss efforts. I enjoy seeing the shock or surprise on their face when they receive unexpected praise. Yet I don't give others that pleasure when they give me kind words.

So, it stops here.

I will no longer doubt others' words. It's unfair and unkind to them to assume that they are "wrong" about their compliment, that they must be crazy for thinking I look nice or I did a good job at something. Instead I will accept compliments graciously & file them away in my head to remember when I'm feeling down. I will smile & say thank you when receiving praise for a job well done or for my accomplishments.

And I challenge you to do the same.