Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Every year I make a list of goals that I want to accomplish. I don't like to call them resolutions because I feel like so many of us make resolutions & then don't think about them again beyond January... until it's time to make new ones. So what I do is make a list of goals, and at the end of every month, I examine them to make note of my progress. It keeps the goal fresh in my mind so I don't forget about it. Then at the end of the year, rather than focus on what I didn't accomplish, I take a look at what I did get done. For example... I did all of these things this year:
-I donated blood
-I bought a house
-I saved $1000 for our wedding reception
-I didn't buy any brand new books
-I married my best friend
-We donated to the ASPCA instead of giving wedding favors
-I completed one 5K
-I completed one scrapbook
-I donated items or money to different causes for 10 of 12 months
-I cooked at least one new item each month
-I found a new job that is a perfect fit for me
-I found 40 letterboxes
-I paid off two credit cards
-I visited a new state
So, it's time to start making my 2010 list... and one of those items is going to be to post here at least once per week. It may not seem like much, but it is a start. My hope is that by posting here, I will get back into the swing of things and my waistline may start to show some improvement! I try to have goals that relate to getting healthier, without actually saying "lose x amount of pounds" or something like that. So my goal of writing here should hopefully spark that healthy lifestyle back up over time.
I hope there are still some out there that haven't forgotten about me... you'll be seeing more of me in 2010, I promise!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The Process: In Pictures
(^getting a picture of the back of your own head is hard!)
(^all pulled back and double checking the ruler... 9 inches!)
(^It looks like a squirrel's tail!)
(^And here I am, with 9 inches less hair!)
If you're interested in finding out more information about donating your own hair, please check out:
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
1 pound lean ground beef
1 cup rice (I used brown rice, but have used white in the past)
1 medium egg
1/2 tbsp minced garlic
Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix. And the best way to mix meat for meatballs/meatloaf, etc is the old fashioned way--WITH YOUR HANDS! Just be sure to take your rings off first! Once you've mixed well, spray a baking dish with cooking spray, then form into small/medium meatballs. It really just depends on how big your dish is & how big you want your meatballs. Mine were probably 1 1/2"-2" across the middle, if I were to guess, and I got 11 meatballs. After arranging in a pan (don't squish them or they'll take longer to cook!), cover with cream of mushroom soup (or tomato if you prefer--I don't like tomato, so mushroom it is for me!). Bake uncovered in a 350 degree oven for 30-35 minutes. I like to cut into the biggest meatball that's closest to the middle of the pan to make sure it's cooked all the way through. If it is, then odds are all the others are too!
This is really good with mashed potatoes too... throw some of that "soup-gravy" onto the potatoes... sooo good!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Crock Pot Italian Beef
3-4 pounds lean rump roast
2 cans beef broth
2 packets Good Seasons italian dressing mix
1 packet Good Seasons zesty italian mix
1 clove garlic, minced
Place roast in crock pot & pour 1 packet of regular dressing mix & the zesty mix on top. Add garlic & 3-4 peppers, the top with 1 can beef broth. Cook on low 8-10 hours, then add remaining ingredients and cook on high 1-2 more hours. Shred beef with fork and serve on hoagie buns.
This one will definately be making an appearance in our household at least once a month!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
In a few short hours, I will be walking down the aisle... yes, it is my wedding day!
I hope all of you are well, and I hope to post some pics after the big day to share with those that may be interested!
For the last time,
Friday, July 10, 2009
I'd love to come back here and write and say that I've been doing great with my weight, but you know that's not the case at all. In fact, my weight is probably the highest it's ever been. I say probably, because my scale weighs up to a certain amount, and after that says "error". And we've been in "error" territory for awhile now. Happiness makes me fat, what can I say? And this might sound like the wrong thing to say, but right now, I just don't care. Am I happy with my body, no... not at all... not even a little bit. But I'm happy with SO MANY OTHER THINGS. Shouldn't I be happy for those things, instead of focusing on the negative with my weight? Do I still want to get healthy and eat better *eventually*? Yes. But is it consuming my life right now? No.
Let me tell you what is going on in my life right now. I'm getting married next month, for one. When I started this blog, I was planning a wedding, and that was a huge motivating factor for my weight loss. You'd think it would be this time too, but it's just not. Plain and simple. Is my wedding day still going to be amazing, whether I'm wearing a 14 or a 24? Yes. Is my fiance still going to love me, even if I don't drop 50 pounds before the wedding? yes. The wedding day is about the promise we're making to each other, it's not about how good I look in a white dress. But I must say, I do look pretty stunning, even if I am in my size 24.
On top of planning a wedding that is about 40 days away, my fiance and I closed on a house on June 30. We've been working on cleaning and painting since we bought it, and our big move is tomorrow. We don't currently live together, so this is a major milestone in our relationship. We currently both live in a bigger town where fast food every day is the norm, simply because of its convenience. We will now be living in a small town where everything shuts down after like 9pm. Hopefully this will help with our spontaneous fast food stops.
Also on my mind is the state of my job. Back in March, I started what I consider to be the perfect job for me. I'm doing prevention work at small-town mental health agency. I go into schools in the county and deliver alcohol & drug prevention curriculum to middle-schoolers. I love it. So much. But unfortunately, Illinois is notorious for cutting funding to social services. We are all ready 51st in the nation (even after Washington D.C.) for the funding allocated to social services. So that means we are DEAD LAST. And our legislators right now are wanting to cut the money to services even more, about 50%, to make up for the enormous deficit we have in our state funds right now. The fiscal year started 7/1, but we don't yet have a budget... the bad thing is, when we do have one, it could mean the cuts will impact my job. Our agency is choosing to operate month-to-month until a budget is in place, because we have some reserves saved up... but many agencies have all ready made huge layoffs, expecting the worst. It's very unfortunate, not only that I may lose my job, but that so many people will be without the services they so desperately need.
So, I've just bought a house, I'm getting married next month, and I may get laid off... these are the things that have been on my mind... not the weight loss. But I'm ok with that for right now. Sometimes you just gotta keep on keepin' on.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
And I have gained every bit back, plus about 2 pounds.
I am disgusted and feel disgusting. I'm unhappy. I'm huge.
I should feel even more motivation to lose than usual, as I am getting married in three and a half months! I should be busting my ass to look good on my wedding day, right? Yeah, I'm not. And I don't really know why.
My apathy is startling.
I try not to throw myself pity parties, but it really really bothers me that I weigh more than Eddie does now. The boy is supposed to be bigger. Don't get me wrong, I'm INCREDIBLY proud of him for losing the weight that he has, but I do feel sad for myself a little that I'm just so totally unmotivated and lack an ounce of give-a-shit. I don't know WHY I am in such a funk about it.
I know I am capable of losing weight. I've done it several times. What is hard to think about is the fact that I HAVE done it so many times.... I feel like "well, yeah, I've lost it before... but it always comes back... I don't have what it takes to keep it off."
I know that weight loss surgery is something that a few women I read on here have either had done or are considering... and i believe that is a personal choice that everyone has to make... but it's just not a choice that I'm willing to consider. My personal choice is that I got myself into this mess and it's my responsibility to get myself out of... hopefully.
I just don't know where to start. I know that I need to just make the change and commit. I can't afford to join WW again, though I do have all my materials to do the program on my own... I don't know if I'll go that route or what. I'm just kind of lost. And it's like being fat allows me to stay lost... I don't have to figure it out... I don't have to solve the mystery of why I always end up back to where I was (and then some). But staying lost doesn't really get me anywhere...
The journey of a thousand miles, I guess...
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I am posting my awesome CVS deals this week though b/c I kicked butt... probably my best trip yet. I'm posting for CVS Superstars so here's my week:
I bought these items:
2 Scrubbing Bubble Action Scrubbers $2.99 each
2 Soft Soap refills $3.99 each plus earn $4 ECBs wyb 2
4 Sally Hanson nail polishes $2.49 each BOGO
1 CVS Paper Towels $1.29
2 Paas Easter egg dye kits $1.99 each plus earn $1.99 ECBs on each one
2 Glade Sense & Sprays $5.99 each plus $1 ECB (limit 1)
My pre-coupon total was around $42, including tax.
I used these coupons:
(2) $2.75 off scrubbing bubble action scrubbers (-$5.50)
(2) $2.00 off soft soap (-$4.00)
(2) $3.00 off wyb 2 Sally Hanson products (-$6.00)
(1) Free CVS Towels (-$1.29)
(2) $1.00 off Glade CVS coupon (-$2.00)
(2) $4.00 off manf Glade coupon (-$8.00)
(1) $5/$30 CVS coupon
$4 ECBs previously earned
This took my total to $2.25, which I had to pay because it was tax. I also earned $8.98 back in ECBs. Talk about a good trip!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I've been under the weather for a week now, with two separate illnesses. Last week I suddenly became violently ill in the intestinal arena & spent a majority of the day on the toilet. Mid-evening, the non-stop vomiting began, and a few hours later, I ended up in the ER to get some meds & lots of IV fluids. To give you an idea of how ill I was, I weighed 10 pounds less on Wednesday than I did on Monday. Yikes. Of course though, as soon as I was able to eat again over the weekend, things evened out, and I ended up being only 5 down this Monday from where I was last Monday. That's a much healthier loss than 10 pounds, let me tell you.
After a delightful Valentine's Day, I started feeling sick AGAIN, only with head/chest congestion. Monday I went to work miserable, and decided I needed to take a day off to rest & get well. I work at a hospital (for now--more on that later), and every time I get sick, I end up getting 2 or 3 illnesses out of the deal... I have to come back to work before my immune system is totally better, and then I'm around infectious disease for 8 hours.... not the best environment. But, thankfully, in one week I will no longer be here!
That's right, after quite a search in a horrible job market, I landed a new job! I'll be working in case management at a small mental health center in the next town over. It's actually my hometown, so it's funny that I should end up with a job there! The pay is slightly better, but overall it will be a really great career move and a step in the right direction. I've been at such a lull with everythign in my life, because of this current job, for so long! It's been dragging me down, and I'm ready to be done with it!
I also don't have to be at work until 9am (instead of my current 7am), so the chance is there that I could get in a workout before work in the mornings. I would really like to get back into the swing of working out because I know I will feel better if I do so. Maybe I should take FB's idea and get off my lazy butt for Lent. We'll see.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Back in April 2008, I wrote a letter to myself, and I think that re-reading this will be helpful to me. I encourage others to write a letter like this when you need reminding of why you started your journey.
April 15, 2008
Dear Old Self,
On August 22, 2007 I took a vow to leave you behind. At first it was easy. I was motivated to find the New Self, and I walked away from you pretty much without even looking back. I gave up your desire for greasy McDonald's, daily candy bars, and calorie-filled, sugar-loaded pop. New Self was winning the battle, and pounds dropped off. I think New Self lost 30 pounds in 3 months. It was a great ego boost, let me tell you. New Self was kicking Old Self's ass.
Around Thanksgiving time, Old Self, you tried to sneak your way back into my life. I tried to remain strong & remember how great New Self felt, but you were trying your hardest to be the boss in my life again. I fought back hard too though, and even though I didn't lose like I had been, I still came through the holidays weighing less than I did at the beginning of them.
The new year came, and New Self was feeling lazy and tired... you are a fighter, Old Self... You were really fighting to win my life over again, and I felt exhausted from fighting you! I went through some tough times in my personal life starting in January, and New Self started to feel defeated. Why bother? New Self tried to at least hold on a little through the storm, but Old Self, you seemed to be getting stronger.
Eventually New Self gave up. New Self was tired of fighting and it was easier to just back down and let you take charge again. I thought that New Self had totally hit the road, never to be seen again. Old Self, you have been ruining my life. You have got to go. I'm not happier with you around, and I'm certainly not healthier. Sometimes we keep old friends in our lives just because they've been there for so long. They might not be the best thing for us anymore (maybe they never were), but we feel attached to them in a very strong way. Well, Old Self, you are not my friend anymore. It's time to say goodbye.
I think in August, I really just said "see ya later" to you, but this time, I have to say goodbye for good. We can't meet again in the future, not if I want to be a healthy person and have New Self in my life. We have to close this chapter. You've been a close friend, Old Self, but I can't say you've been a "good" friend. You've been there for me when others weren't, but I know New Self will eventually be stronger than you ever were. It will just take time for New Self to thrive. But the good news is that even though you returned, New Self didn't really abandon me like I thought. Somehow, New Self held on through the rough waters lately, because she wants to be my best friend now.
New Self has grown her wings. It's time to fly.
Monday, January 26, 2009
So, when I got on the scale this morning, I honestly thought I'd probably have a pound or two gain b/c some of the food I ate were higher sodium items. However, I was pleased to find out I was actually down about a half pound. While that's not much, at least it is a loss, and it also takes my total for January to exactly 10 pounds lost. I am MORE than happy with those results! So, here's to a better week this week & another loss on the scale next week!
Current Weight: 317.6
Starting Weight: 327.6
Total Lost in 2009: 10.0 pounds!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Anyway, there are some days when I CRAVE ice cream so bad I want to scream. And I dont' want any lite crap, I want the delicious candy & chocolate-filled stuff. Sometimes I want it so bad, I want to CRY because I know I shouldn't have it... but I WANT IT!!!!
And this weekend, I found the most amazing little treat to appease my lunatic urge for ice cream... Ben & Jerry's mini's!!!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I used 6 red potatoes, quartered, about 2 dozen baby carrots, and 3 small yellow onions, quartered. I was worried that the potatoes might turn brown if they were just exposed to the air all night in the fridge, so I put water over my veggies & stored them in the fridge for the night.
This was my first time buying Chuck roast, so I really didn't know what I was doing. This one was more fatty than I prefer my meat to be, but my mom insisted that it would be the most tender. After it cooked, I could just separate the fatty meat & discard it. Soooo, I turned my crockpot on low, and off to work I went. About 8.5 hours later, I came home to this:
I turned my crockpot down to warm & a couple hours later I was ready to eat. It was so simple, and OH so tasty!!! I would definately cook this one again!
Where do you find your support system? For me, my blog & the blogs of others travelling the same path are a huge support. When I had the most success with weight loss was when I was blogging & reading consistently. To be able to celebrate with others, have others pat you on the back for a job well done, or even just knowing that someone else is nodding & going "me too" is comforting. And you know, it's the tough times that are just as important as the good ones. To write about those tough times & then feel all the love & support around you helps you get back up, time after time. I can't tell you how thankful I am for the handful of bloggers that still would comment me, even after absences on here of weeks at a time. To know that those women still thought of me & wondered how I was was the push I needed to get back up.
I was watching The Biggest Loser last night (and liveblogging with Fat Bridesmaid & friends) and the scene that touched me the most was when the heaviest contestant in the history of the show, a 19-year old named Daniel who weighs well over 400 pounds, was completing their weekly challenge. The challenge was tough. It would be daunting for someone half his size. They had to kayak for 1/4 mile in these pedal-boat things (can you imagine how your thighs would be feeling after that?) then get out and climb this HUGE incline probably another 1/4 mile to get to the top. I think most, if not all, contestants had finished the race before Daniel was even to shore in his kayak. But you know what, he kept going. He got out of his boat, and he started up that hill. I'm sure he wanted to quit, and maybe he would have, had it not been for his teammates, who after doing that activity themselves & were probably exhausted, went back down the hill and walked with him up it. They pushed him (literally and figuratively) to keep going and to finish that challenge. And he did!
What I think can be learned from this is two-fold. First, it's that having that support system can make all the difference. And second, it's that WE need to BE that support system for others. Even when we're exhausted & we feel like we've done our part & can't go a minute more, we need to step up and help our teammates out. We're all in this together. It doesn't matter who gets to the top of the hill first, all that matters is that each and every one of us finishes.
Monday, January 12, 2009
I had another really good grocery week & got a ton of healthy stuff for only $22 at Meijer. I got the following:
2 smart ones
loaf of bread
bag of carrots
bag of red potatoes
bag of salad
1 pound grapes
2 bags frozen veggies
2 small boxes pizza rolls (ok, not everything was healthy, but they were free!)
chuck roast to make pot roast
Quaker rice snack cakes
8 light yogurts
4 mini betty crocker delights (gotta have treats once in awhile!)
I shopped Meijer's 10/$10 & earn 1 item free sale, then I also had $5 in coupons. I was really pleased with the things I was able to get. I got some good snack items, a couple treats, stuff for a week's dinners, and good fruits & veggies. The biggest thing I do is sit down on Sunday, look at my local grocery ads, then plan my meals based on what's on sale. The past couple weeks I've gotten lucky & only had to go to one store b/c the deals were so good. On occasion I'll go to two.
Eating healthy on a budget IS possible, you just have to make it work. Flexibility is key!
Up next: Chicken Noodle Soup!
Friday, January 9, 2009
Yes, I had quite a supply of Smart Ones, but I prefer to save those for a quick lunch. When Eddie comes over after work, I like to have a hot meal for him... you know, show him I'm gonna be a good little wife;) If I have something prepared, he's also less likely to suggest getting fast food or ordering in. So.... on top of those smart ones were some frozen chicken breasts (you know, the ones I'd forgotten to lay out this morning!). I like to snag them up when they're on sale. Usually buying in bulk is best... $1.49/pound for boneless/skinless chicken breasts? I'll take 5 pounds, please! I just wrap them up in some foil in 2-breast packs, and I'm good to go! Anyway....
Well shoot, I don't want to wait to the rock hard chicken to thaw, what am I gonna have? Then I remembered that I had received some Ziplock Zip n Steam bags free from some online promotion (seriously, look into giveaways & free samples... you get some great stuff & they usually also include a high-dollar coupon for future purchases of those items!). So I looked on the bags, and sure enough, I can cook frozen chicken breasts in them, in only 7 minutes!
On the front of the Zip n Steam bags is a handy little cooking guide for meats & veggies! These things are such a time-saver! You just put your meat or veggies in the bag, including any seasoning/spices, zip it up, and cook! I really love Cavendar's Greek Seasoning. So, I sprinkled that all over my chicken breasts!
Zip it up & cook!
While the chicken is cooking, I made this:I had picked it up awhile back when it was on sale, and it only takes 5 or 6 minutes to make.
I don't have time to go the gym.
Eating healthy is too expensive.
I don't have time to cook.
I forgot my lunch, so I have to eat out.
I screwed up at lunch, so the whole day is shot.
I am a problem-solver. It's just in my nature. So, I'm going to tackle these excuses one at a time in the next week or so and list solutions to them. Give me some of your excuses or problems that you had/have trouble overcoming in order to live a healthier lifestyle and what you did to tackle it (or if you haven't tackled it, that's ok!). If you don't address those problems & find answers, then nothing's ever going to change. Who knows, someone might just have an idea some of us have never heard of before!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
So, I'm back at it. I'm ready to take this blog to the level that it was when I started. That means regular posting, regular reading of others' blogs, and regular commenting. When I started this blog, I was planning a wedding. That was my motivation at the time for losing weight. I told myself it was just one of many reasons for losing weight, but let's be honest, it's a huge motivating factor when over a hundred people are going to have all eyes on you in your wedding dress. You want to look gooooood! That wedding didn't happen, but even after breaking it off, I continued to lose weight for a couple months. However, when I entered into my current relationship, both Eddie and I packed on the pounds. Happiness makes you fat apparently!
Well, we're both making an effort to reverse the effects of our first (almost) year together. The first step for us is eliminating full-sugar pop and to limit eating out to once per month. Not only is it more cost-effective to cook, but it's also much better for us! I'm a firm believer that you have to make little changes at a time, and I know what changes to make for myself, personally, that will make a difference right off the bat.
So, here's to a fresh start. 2009 is mine. I thought before that eating what I wanted and just having fun & being lazy about it was what I was choosing. But that wasn't me. I had relinquished control to other forces: eating for social reasons, eating because of boredom, eating to deal with bad emotions... I wasn't in control. 2009 will be the year I take control. I'm not a failure because I lost weight and gained it all back. I'm a success because I'm trying again.
I love myself enough to try again.