Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Check In

So I'm not sure if the hard part is over, or if the hard part is yet to come. Mike left last night, and I know that it's for the best. To have him stay would be worse. I would never fully trust him again, and that's no foundation for a healthy relationship.

Food-wise this week, it was certainly weird. For the first time in my life, I didn't binge when I was sad. It was actually the opposite, I couldn't eat at all for a couple days. At one point, when I weighed at home, I was down almost 10 pounds. I knew that wasn't healthy, so I forced some food down. It wasn't always healthy food, granted, but at least it was food. In the end, I weighed in 1 pound less than last week. That's 43.4 lost so far.

I figure any loss after a week like I've had is certainly a feat that I overcame.

This week I'd like to work on exercise. I feel like I say that every week but maybe one of these days I'll actually get a move on. I went once this last week, just for a 20 minute walk.

I'm taking the fact that I'm broke as an opportunity to eat all the food in my house that I've previously purchased but just never got around to eating. I have quite a collection of smart ones in the freezer, as well as quite a few pantry items. Once I'm out of food, then I'll get more. Gotta budget the little money I do have.

I hope everyone had a good week. Thank you again for the great support you all have given me, it means so much to know I have all of you as friends who will surround me in a time of need. I will do the same anytime any of you need anything.

23 comments:

Scale Junkie said...

I've added you to Mister Linky so others will see your post from there.

Trust is the most important part of a relationship, without it the foundation has cracks and you have nothing to build on. You deserve a strong house with a sturdy foundation. I just know you'll find that some day.

As for the exercise, it all adds up. Even if you just walk for 10 minutes at a time twice a day, it adds up.

As far as sticking to a budget I think you'll find that menu planning is the way to go. That way you only buy what you need, nothing goes to waste and you stick to your plan.

I'm sending you big hugs. I know you are strong and you'll get through this and move forward into a very happy future!!

Congrats on the pound!

Lori said...

Losing a pound with the week you had is GREAT! More importantly, take care of yourself through this hard time...it will take time, be kind to yourself!!

Lidian said...

The important thing is to take really really good care of yourself, one pound is great but not to worry about all that for now...thinking about you, sending those virtual hugs! xx Lidian

Chubby Chick said...

You're right, Teale. Without trust, there is no point to continue in a relationship. I'm so sorry this happened, but just believe that it is going to work out for your good. There IS a silver lining to this cloud... it's just hard to see it right now. But it's there. I know it is! And when you discover it, it's going to be better than you could ever imagine.

Take time to heal and take care of yourself. And when the time is right... think of it as a fresh beginning... a fresh start to the rest of your wonderful life. You're getting healthy, you're losing weight, you're a strong young woman... and the best days of your life lie ahead!

I am SO proud of you for not turning to food this past week! Your strength in the midst of the storm is inspiring beyond words. You amaze me, girl!

I'm glad you checked in with us today. I've been wondering how you've been doing. We'll always be here for you... offering our support and encouragement. We believe in you! And together we are ALL going to become the best women that we can possibly be. :)

(((((Teale)))))

Rupa said...

hey, do take care of yourself...and cheer up...time is the best healer...
Trust is the basis for any relation..you are absolutely right....great that you didn't turn to food for solace...
future will sure be good...
good luck and hugs...
all my warm wishes for you..

Hanlie said...

You are incredibly brave! First of all for taking him back and trying to pick up the pieces and secondly for recognizing that some things just can't be fixed.

I am so sorry that you've had your dreams crushed, but I'm convinced that you'll be fine in time. Healing takes a while, but I can see your true, winning spirit already shining through in this post. You are already standing up. And that is major, girl.

Well done for turning back to your plan. Being good to yourself right now is so important!

Ms Ingrid said...

Hi Teale!

I am taking a scientific approach here. 3 months ago I got my heart broken and then I found out something, and I quote:
"A UCLA study showed that being rejected activates one of the same areas of the brain as physical pain. The more ignored the people felt, the more activity they had in the anterior cingulate, which also registers physical distress.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22400317/"

What they are trying to say here is that when you feel rejected, exercise is one of the best ways to heal. The more you exercise, the better you feel. So get yourself moving, believe me, it helps.

Good luck!

Heather said...

again, I am so sorry that this happened to you, and hopefully in the future you will be able to learn to trust and love again. Just know you deserve the best and shouldnt settle for anything, especially someone who couldnt treat you like you deserved to be treated.

congrats on not using food as an emotional tool. just do your best, and I dont think anyone would blame you if you have other things on your mind than diet and exercise! but maybe that is what you need...somethign to take your mind off of this.

lifeshouldbestereo said...

You are my hero, for so many reasons Teale. First of all you've inspired me for months with your impressive weight loss, and your recipes and motivational talks! But also for NOT turning to food in a time of major crisis! That's just wonderful.

From this I know how strong you really are, and I know you'll get through this. Be good to yourself, don't beat yourself up please.

There is a silver lining, as the others have said.

EVA said...

wow teale...that is a tremendous story. you've been through so much. the fact that you even care a little about anything else (like healthy living) shows how much of a life change you've made. i really wish the best for you and mike. you clearly make good choices. i know you guys will do what's best.

Holly said...

Hey Teale, I'm glad you updated. As hard as it is right now, it's far better to end things now then later when there is more to lose (ie. if there were kids, etc in the picture). These events help us to learn more about ourselves as well as to help us to further learn what is important to us. You will rise up, stronger than before, and go on to achieve your goals! (((hugs to you))))

ExpressingNotStuffing said...

Break ups are hard. It sounds like even though it will be painful, this is for the best.
A relationship without trust is a disaster waiting to happen.
You are such an amazing and wonderful person and the RIGHT one is out there for you. You just have not found him yet.
When you do, I am sure he will have eyes as big as saucers every time you walk by him as he admires your beauty inside and out!
Congrats on the weight loss!
You are a rock star for pulling a weight loss out of all of the stress that has been going on!
Keep on keeping on! I'm cheering for you!

*ccc* said...

Teale,

I've been out of the blog world for a few weeks and stepped back in to read what you've experienced for the past few days...

The only thing that really sticks in my mind is just awe--awe at how incredibly STRONG you are. You have shown such strength, such grace, such determination in an incredibly difficult time and it is truly amazing and inspiring.

You are right--without trust, there is no point in continuing a relationship and as cliche as it is to say--it IS better to discover these things now, before there are children involved and there is so much more at stake.

So many many hugs to you. I have no doubt you will come through this an even more amazing woman than you went in!

FAT BRIDESMAID said...

Teale,
Glad to see you updated and seem to be holding up. Keep us posted if you need ANYTHING.
Lots of love, FB

Cammy said...

Congrats on the loss this week and the tremendous success you've had so far. To know that you can be so successful in the midle of what must be a truly agonizing time will hopefully bring you comfort. It surely impresses and inspires me!

Lauren said...

you are so awesome. You've made some really hard decisions and realizations and you are taking one step at a time forward. I am so proud of you

Christina said...

I'm glad you updated on here. Thinking of you! Keep up your motivation for getting healthier. I'm so proud of you - what a strong woman you are!

Lynn said...

The fact that you were even worried about losing weight this week shows how committed you are to YOURSELF.

I used to dread exercise too, and then once I got into a routine I found it to be a great stress reliever. Whenever I need to think I do something, even if its just a walk and it usually helps a lot.

I know you're going through some majorly hard times right now; all you can do is look to the future and continue to take care of yourself. You will get through this Teale.

*hugs*

Once Upon A Dieter said...

Shoot, I go off in a lethargy of depression and I miss the chance to be here a cyber shoulder for you, lady! But you had plenty of shoulders through this bleak time.

I'm so angry on your behalf. I suppose because I was able to read the stuff all in one sitting--and the whiplash of it--back and forth--it's especially upsetting to think you just went through all of that. God bless you, Sweetie. God give you peace and comfort.

I have to say that no one knows what ultimately will happen. However, I'd like to smack him so hard it's not funny. He acted so immaturely. He had so little respect for your feelings. However, he may be going through some serious emotional/depression stuff himself. I guess I need to be a little merciful.

I hope the path opens up for you to walk into the best possible place (with or without him).

I just wanna hug you so bad.

YOu'll get through it. Broken hearts are one of those things we all go through, I think. Or most of us. And lots of us out here understand that it makes the world feel really bleak and cold.

I hope your sunlight comes soon and your heart sings again soon.

Hugs,
The Princess

Krystle said...

Hope you're doing okay.

Mary said...

I am sorry you are going through a rough time, but good for you taking care of yourself. Not binge eating when you are sad is a great thing and a one pound loss even in the midst of sadness is fantastic.

EVA said...

um...hello? teale? you still there? everything a ok? well. as much as can be expected at least?

CindyPTN said...

After a week like this, You're doing fabulous! Keep your head up. And a walk is a walk. Keep moving and focusing on YOU!