Monday, January 21, 2008

hard.

I'm sorry for lurking your blogs. I'm having a hard time being encouraging right now. I am reading from time to time though, when I can.

Things suck right now. Plain and simple. Things suck.

I feel like I don't know what I'm doing or where my life is going.

I don't know if I can trust again.

I'm starting to feel a bitterness in my heart.

I feel like we're just playing house until the other shoe drops.

I can feel myself becoming hardened, trying to turn off the emotions. Just be emotionless for the time being.

Maybe it will hurt less that way.

16 comments:

lifeshouldbestereo said...

Darling, you need to take care of YOU now. Everybody will understand that. No need to apologize for lurking!
My only advice here, and I don't know if I'm even in a position to hand out advice, would be to talk to your husband. Talk and talk and talk things over with your husband. Talk about your emotions and find out about his. It's normal that you feel like you don't know where you're going right now. You need to re-establish your relationship and your direction, together. If that is what you both want of course.
I wish you all the very best and please know that we are all here for you. xx

Lidian said...

Oh Teale, just look after yourself, don't worry about other people's blogs! So sorry about it all, just sending you hugs, and thinking about you - love, Lidian

Felicia said...

((((BIG HUGS)))))

=0)

Anonymous said...

Ugh, what a mess. Wishing the best for you...

andrea
pantrypuff.wordpress.com

Scale Junkie said...

You are a wonderful woman. I'm so sorry you are hurting right now but you need to take care of YOU and do what will be best for you both short term and long term, don't worry so much about us. We are all here for you, just keep blogging, writing down your feelings can really help. Sending you big HUGS!!

Chubby Chick said...

No need to apologize, Teale! We know that you have much more important things on your mind than commenting on our blogs. We know your heart... and we totally understand.

You have every right to be feeling the way that you are. Don't hide your emotions. Don't keep it bottled up inside. Take care of yourself first and foremost. That is the most important thing.

We all care about you and are wishing you the best. (((((Teale)))))

Hanlie said...

I think about you a lot and keep sending positive thoughts your way! As the others said, don't worry about us! We're falling off the wagon, getting back on, losing weight, hitting plateaus. Same old, same old!

Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions. This is very important, because whatever you don't express, becomes baggage that you store in your fat cells, only to be confronted with it in the future.

Hang in there, my friend!

Ms Ingrid said...

I don't know about you but this kind of attempt to leave you would definitely break something inside me, meaning that I could never trust him 100% again. And if there is no trust, there is no relationship. Simple as that.
Because you would always be wondering - is he going to do it again? Will he be there or gone?
But it's just me and I don't know you that well, I am just a lurker here.

My best wishes and hope things work out for you!

Fatty said...

Teale - I hope you can find some way to get through this without suffering too much. Pain makes us stronger - without it we could never really appreciate how amazing the good times can really be. And things will get better for you soon - every storm passes.

ameroux said...

Teale, just take care of yourself, honey. If you feel that nothing's been resolved, maybe the two of you should separate for a few days or a week and get some perspective. Just a thought.

BIG love & prayers,

Amy

Heather said...

aww I hope something changes or happens soon so you can get out of this "funk" and know what is going to happen in the next stage of your relationship. either way, good or bad, something has to happen soon.

Trisaratops said...

Oh sweets, I'm so sorry you're hurting. I know you can get through this, and we're all here for you. Please don't worry about visiting our blogs at all. You have a lot to do and work through to decide if you want that bitterness and mistrust to take over or not. May I email you? I can't find an address on your page. Good luck and I'm sending you strength and kindness.

Krystle said...

Just delurking again, to let you know you're in my thoughts and prayers. My fiance and I went through something similar. I thought my world was crashing, and for a couple weeks... I didn't trust him again. It took time, and it was hard... but it was worth it. Me having a blog during that time is what helped me THE MOST. Stay strong, keep your chin up... you'll get through this, don't worry.

Sending tons and tons and tons and tons of INFINITE prayers and positive thoughts and dreams come true for you Teale. You deserve it.

((((((((HUGS)))))))))

Holly said...

Sending you more hugs, Teale! Be kind to yourself and remember to have boundaries! Your heart is to precious to allow it to be trampled on.

janey said...

Nothing wise to add, just sending some love. xxxxx

lifeshouldbestereo said...

Hi sweetie, just checking in on you. How are you? Please know that we're thinking of you!! and sending you hugs and all our best thoughts.