I was watching TV tonight at about 7pm, after dinner. They were eating pizza.
And since then, ALL I can think about is ordering a pizza.
Now, having pizza for dinner in itself would be bad enough for me, because I know I would overeat... but I have ALREADY had dinner, so ordering pizza would be ridiculous.
But it's all I've been thinking about.
I had a 1pt WW cookie. I drank water. I still want the pizza.
Why do I want the stupid pizza? I want to lose weight. But right now, I want to taste the pizza more.
So I asked myself, what is it about the pizza that makes you want it so badly... and it's honestly just how happy tasting something good would make me. Today was a bad day. I hate my job with so much passion it's unbelievable. Today was just one more of those awful days at that hellhole. Eating some tasty pizza would make me forget about how much I hate my job. Eating some pizza would make me forget the misery. Momentarily.
Eating pizza would also bloat me like no other. It would put me over my points for the day. Then there would be leftovers and I would be tempted by them tomorrow.
I'm almost in tears here. WHY am I like this? Normal people are NOT obsessive like this about stuffing their feelings with food.
I've tried doing other things tonight. I have watched TV, I've read my book, I've played games on the computer, I've BLOGGED. But still, there's this whisper in my ear... orderpizzaorderpizzaorderpizza.
I know what I should do, but I don't know what I will do.